Why does everyone hate hipsters?

Based on what I can see, the look and the lifestyle seem pretty neat to me. You get to wear really inexpensive clothes without being judged. You ride around town on a cheap bike, which is healthy for you — and again, there’s no judgment, because that’s normal for your peer group. It’s like being a Marxist, without the terrible economic theory.

You listen to alternative music. Awesome. Social mores call for you to be “authentic” and creative, and there seems to be an emphasis on progressive politics.

Doesn’t this all dovetail nicely with people whose personalities lean toward arts or academics? Is it really all so bad?

Maybe there’s something I’m missing. If you know me at all, you can guess that everything I know about hipsters comes from a Google search I did five minutes ago. One of my college classmates is a sublimely intelligent man whose opinion I trust … he is now living on the West Coast, and he hates hipsters. And I do mean that he HATES hipsters.

Please, don’t do the obvious and suggest that I become a hipster. I’m too old. The only new subculture that’s appropriate for me to join right now is AARP.