(I heard “Joker” was already taken.)

I told my best friend yesterday that there was a boa constrictor loose in my house and she TOTALLY BOUGHT IT. So did her kids.

And last year I had her convinced that a family of raccoons had moved into my closet.

I am the April Fool’s joke MASTER; I should be a supervillain named “April Fool.”

Her, after the reveal: “At this point, I hope you get eaten.”



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