You shop at Walmart and discount stores for Halloween, you get what you pay for.  Observe, for example, the glitter skeleton and its backwards feet.

Seriously, it’s not adjustable.  The feet are stuck like that, presumably because of a malfunction at … I dunno, the Halloween glitter skeleton factory.  (Maybe it’s spookier, like the dude died because he walked backwards into moving traffic?)

My efforts to paint my own glow-in-the-dark skull also met with meager results, as you can see.  The “paint,” which I know understand is meant to be only a kind of temporary, washable, spray-on party  “paint,” turned foamy and viscous instantly.  It flakes off, too, and loses its luminescence within seconds.

Next year, I am going to be a mature adult, and buy my skeleton-related novelties from the Johnson Smith Company.

What the hell — I still think the pumpkin and the cloaked wraith are pretty cool.