I swear this spider was as long as my thumb. I could have put my shoe or maybe a quarter next to it for scale, but I don’t want to stick any part of my body near this thing, and I don’t want to subsidize its hellish agenda. (I did kinda zoom out so that you can compare it to the size of the curb.)
What does it eat?! Birds?! Why does it appear to have racing stripes?!
To quote the immortal Ellen Ripley, I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Update: someone is trying to persuade me that this is a “garden spider,” and that they are quite harmless. I’m not sure I buy that.
“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” was a spoof of sci-fi/horror films that hit theaters in 1978, and broadcast television shortly after that. (The first video below is the film’s trailer; the second is its campy theme song.) I think I was a second grader when I saw the movie on TV, and I positively loved it. I still remember rolling around on the living room floor in peals of laughter. I talked about it for weeks — and to anybody who would listen. (If you think my social skills are lacking as an adult, you should have seen me in the second grade.)
I was surprised to learn recently that this film has a cult following. I’ve hardly heard about it since the close of the 1970’s — and I’ve known a lot of flick nuts.
It’s past midnight. I am actually nervously analyzing the President’s vocal and physical cues in all the most recent footage I can find of him to assess any symptoms of substance abuse and/or mental illness. I swear. I feel certain any of my friends who are not Republican would not find me paranoid for doing this.
I never thought I’d see the day.
I’m not just talking about longstanding mental disorders that many have long felt confident about pointing out — like narcissism. I’m trying to figure out if there’s anything acute about to present.
I feel like his rhetoric has always been goddam alarming and that of a wannabe dictator. But recent events show a sharp decline in his decision-making. (I realize that sounds like a massive understatement in light of his incredible troop withdrawal from northern Syria, and its consequences … maybe I’m just trying to be dispassionate here.)
People sometimes say that he slurs his words; I, in all honesty, have discerned that only once. (It was a while ago; I can’t remember where he was — maybe it was a CPAC speech?)
His body language today was different. He doesn’t look good. His face occasionally looks bloated to me, and today he seemed tired.
So much of what comes out of his mouth is crazy, but that’s been true from the start. So … maybe I should be less worried, given his “baseline?” That seems like false comfort.
I keep reminding myself that he’s 73 years old.
I am genuinely worried.
I’m sorry that this is such a rambling post … I guess this is just sort of a stream of consciousness tonight.
“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
― Etienne de Grellet
Photo credit: Michal Osmenda from Brussels, Belgium [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D
Mr. President, here’s a brilliant idea. Why don’t we combine your plans for the border moat and your plans for the Space Force and just launch snakes and alligators into space?
Designing spacesuits for the snakes would be a challenge — as would the question of how they would hold their laser guns. But if we pulled it off, we could call it the Ssssssspace Force.
Locating the snakes to recruit would be easy. Just look at any Republican Congressman still supporting you.