This is me voting a seventh time …

… disguised as the Punisher.

LOOK AT THOSE ABS. (Actually, don’t. I look terrible. I’m shaped like a Dunkin’ Donuts “Munchkin.” But I’m equally as sweet! And it’s lines like that that get me all the girls! Actually, no. They don’t.)

Pal of mine right here in Roanoke saw this on Facebook and commented, “body designed by White Castle, not Frank Castle.”  That pithy sonovabitch.  Southerners!

Anyway, if those of us undermining America’s greatness want to illegally vote multiple times, we must fool this plucky president and his astute followers.  Let’s hope the disguise holds up.




Now I’m disguised for voting a sixth time.

But do I employ a British accent or not!?!? DAMMIT, SOROS SHOULD HAVE TRAINED ME BETTER FOR THIS.

Chime in, people, and do hurry; I have a hybrid bus full of illegal caravan refugees who want to vote too. And the bus is blocking a church entrance.



Throwback Thursday: the Big Jim Sports Camper!

“Big Jim” was yet another toy franchise that was handed down to me from my older brother in the 1970’s to me a little kid in the early 1980’s.  Mattel carried the toy line from 1972 all the way through 1986 — but I didn’t know a single other kid who played with these in the latter decade.  We were all firmly entrenched in Kenner’s “Star Wars” and Hasbro’s “G.I. Joe,”  with their wider ranges of small-scale, mostly all-plastic action figures.  “Big Jim’s” more doll-like 10-inch figures and complex accessories made them seem more like the “Barbie Dolls” that my older sisters used to play with.  (And they were roughly the same scale.)

This camper, in fact, was actually just one of Mattel’s “Barbie” vehicles that was cast in different plastic and lined with different vinyl siding.  (As a child of the 80’s, I’m still befuddled at why so many 70’s playsets were made of vinyl.  Did some law mandate that every product made in the 70’s include vinyl?)

What’s interesting about “Big Jim” toys from a cultural context is that they were … like a slightly pacifist “G.I. Joe.”  (As I’ve mentioned here at the blog before, 1970’s G.I. Joe’s were a foot tall and far more doll-like than 80’s action figures.)  Big Jim and his cohorts (like “Big Josh,” “Big Jeff,” “Big Jack,” you get the idea) were a lot like G.I. Joes.  They were exclusively depicted in all sorts of manly adventures — camping, rafting, dirt-biking or weightlifting.  But they had a decidedly non-military character.




A few future publications …

Hey, gang.  The holidays and the new year are nearly upon us, and I just wanted to give you a rundown of some publications of my writing that will appear between now and the spring.

The Bees Are Dead is scheduled to publish my poem “school shooter” sometime this month.

Down in the Dirt magazine has selected my poem, “hens staring upward,” for publication in its March/April 2019 issue. The issue will be released on April 1, and will be available both in print and online.

The Piker Press will feature five submissions of my writing in the coming months.  My time-machine horror story, “Shine Now, Fiercely, Forever,” will appear at the weekly online literary magazine on December 10th.

Four poems of mine will also be featured by the Piker Press next year: “This Windy Morning” (January 14th), “Roanoke Summer Midnight” (February 18th), “Confession” (April 8th) and “My Mother’s Apartment” (May 6th).

I hope you are all as eager as I am for a festive season.  Have fun, stay safe and be well.