Hallo-WIN, people.

You see that second picture?  That happened when I tried to take a picture of the pumpkin.  But I accidentally took a picture of myself, because my phone’s camera was reversed, and I am an idiot.  For some reason, I’ve now discovered, I look as intense as the goddam Batman when I am taking pictures.  I should go to the roughest part of Roanoke and just point my cell phone camera around — scare the crap out of criminals.

 

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*&@#. NOW I’M A DUTCH SCHOOLBOY.

Update: I’m referring to the result of a haircut. I haven’t been the victim of a spell that magically transformed me into a Dutch schoolboy.

Update 2: “I SPILLED SNERT IN MY STROOPWAFEL, HEADMASTER.”

Update 3: “Hey, Girl. Wanna go out sometime? We can go Dutch.”

Update 4: DUTCH DO IT.

Update 5: I got a response to this last night from someone I think is a real, actual Dutch person.  She writes: “Can you just ride my bike and Presto I’m there. Hash tag lazy American omg do you have tequila.

I’m … I’m not even sure what all of that means, but it sounds fun.

 

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