The meme below was created by J.D. Smith. I’ve met at least two of these criteria. I’m embarrassed to say which.
Gonna write me a poem based on a pun.
Gonna call it “No Poem Intended.”
Tag Archives: humor
“Chihuahuaiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan
All the little dogs
chasing and biting me can
just go f*** themselves.
Photo credit: By David Shankbone – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5136536
“Lyin’-ass Advertiser Haiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan
“Delicious, woven”
wheat crackers — a carefully
woven, willful lie.
Hallo-WIN, people.
You see that second picture? That happened when I tried to take a picture of the pumpkin. But I accidentally took a picture of myself, because my phone’s camera was reversed, and I am an idiot. For some reason, I’ve now discovered, I look as intense as the goddam Batman when I am taking pictures. I should go to the roughest part of Roanoke and just point my cell phone camera around — scare the crap out of criminals.
See ya later, alligator.
Breaking news — the president released his own early design for his planned border wall, complete with its moat filled with alligators and snakes.
Details will follow shortly after presidential nap-time.
*&@#. NOW I’M A DUTCH SCHOOLBOY.
Update: I’m referring to the result of a haircut. I haven’t been the victim of a spell that magically transformed me into a Dutch schoolboy.
Update 2: “I SPILLED SNERT IN MY STROOPWAFEL, HEADMASTER.”
Update 3: “Hey, Girl. Wanna go out sometime? We can go Dutch.”
Update 4: DUTCH DO IT.
Update 5: I got a response to this last night from someone I think is a real, actual Dutch person. She writes: “Can you just ride my bike and Presto I’m there. Hash tag lazy American omg do you have tequila.”
I’m … I’m not even sure what all of that means, but it sounds fun.
I might just dress as Rudy Giuliani this Halloween.
The costume will scare the shit out of any crooks who think I’ll accidentally implicate them.
Photo credit: By Amazinggena – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=77474912
