I’m going to repeat that, because I think it’s important. This is a fish that looks like Pumpkinhead — the title monster from the 1988 horror film of the same name. And it therefore deserves the attention of this blog.
My friend Ann sent this to me after her husband ordered it in a restaurant. I don’t know where they were eating, Hell, probably.
A dude ate from this, people.
To each his own, I guess.
Friend: “Ok just finished ‘Chernobyl’ on HBO. Not sure what all the hype was about, to be honest.”
Me: “You’re the kind of guy who insists there is no graphite on the ground.”
I know these jokes are getting worse. I really ought to Dyatlov it back a little bit.
Have you ever wondered if the universe, as you perceive it, doesn’t exist? That it’s just an infinitely detailed illusion that occupies the senses of all your waking hours — and which ceases to exist when you close your eyes at night?
And that it is reconstructed every morning, all its imperceptible threads spun nimbly out of oblivion’s ether to meet your waking eyes with its whole cloth, its meticulous fiction?
Yeah, me too. Good morning.
Photo credit: Simon Eugster –Simon 16:19, 1 July 2006 (UTC) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)%5D
If a Jedi offers you a tour of the Jedi Temple, is it a tour de force?
(*%$#, even I can agree that one’s terrible. I’m sorry.)
“NOT TODAY, SANTA.”
— The Dyslexic Evangelical
Why am I going nuts every night for Banquet brand Salisbury steaks from the frozen food section? It just seems like such an unlikely addiction.
But I just can’t defrost the succulent little bastards fast enough.
I’d probably be shooting this gravy right into my veins, but then I couldn’t taste it.
Mmmphf mff mmphf.
DAMN FINE PRODUCT.
You sit down at precisely the same time that your neighbor fires a gun off at 2 AM, and you wonder with panic whether the sound you just heard was you blowing out a knee.