Tag Archives: humor

I’m Dunn here.

NAILED IT.

Update — you people just know that when I realized I needed a raincoat, I went looking specifically for the “Unbreakable” look. I don’t do cosplay, but if regular clothes can match a character? I’m there. You should have seen me shopping for suits in the heyday of “The X-Files.”

Update 2 — A Longwood High School pal just told me I look like the Gorton’s Fisherman.  Hey, at least you know you can trust me.

There are two immutable rules I have learned about women.

There are two immutable rules I have learned about women:
1) Never call a woman by the wrong name, and
2) Never date an actress.

Siri




*PLEASE NOTE — the second rule above is an obvious jest.  I’m sure that there are countless actresses out there who are lovely people!  Actors too.  I was an actor at one time, seriously.

Nolan’s Insomnia Theater Presents: “Frankenstein” (1931)

I watched “Frankenstein” (1931) last night, as it was one of those immeasurably frustrating nights when I couldn’t sleep.  No, this movie obviously can’t be considered frightening by modern standards — but I still had fun finally seeing a Universal Pictures monster movie I’ve heard about all my life.

Here are a few fun Frankenfacts, courtesy of Wikipedia:

  1. If the story here feels static and dialogue heavy, there’s a reason for that.  Like “Dracula” (which Universal Pictures released the same year), “Frankenstein” was adapted from a stage play, which itself had been adapted from its classic novel source material.
  2. The makeup effects for Boris Karloff’s monster might seem simple by today’s standards, but people went nuts for them in 1931.  I can’t imagine what a Depression-era filmgoer might think of a modern tv  show like “The Walking Dead.”
  3. If you think Hollywood relies too heavily on cheesy sequels today, take a look at the B-list stuff that followed this classic movie: “Bride of Frankenstein” (1935), “Son of Frankenstein” (1939), “The Ghost of Frankenstein” (1942), “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” in 1943 (which was also a sequel to 1941’s “The Wolf Man”), “House of Frankenstein” (1944), and “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” (1948).  Dr. Frankenstein’s monster also showed up in “House of Dracula” (1945).
  4. “Frankenstein” has something else in common with “Dracula” — the talented, hyperactive character actor, Dwight Frye.  Here he is the scene-stealing assistant to the doctor — he is Dracula’s minion, Renfield, in the other film.
  5. Frye’s character is not named “Igor,” as countless homages and references to this movie might lead you to believe.  His name is “Fritz.”  There is a deformed, graverobbing henchman named “Ygor” in the later “Son of Frankenstein,” and I am guessing the two movies are just easily conflated in popular memory.  Also … the mob of townspeople never storm Frankenstein’s castle with torches and pitchforks.  They instead chase the monster to an abandoned windmill at the top of a mountain, and destroy him there.  (I am guessing that the denouement I thought I’d see also comes from a sequel.)
  6. I … might have noticed a major plot hole for the movie.  (Yes, I realize that it is almost certainly absent from Mary Shelley’s 1918 novel, which I have not read).  The townspeople want to hunt down the monster for his accidental drowning of  little girl.  But … how did they know the monster was even involved?  We are shown nobody witnessing the tragedy.  In fact, how do the townspeople even know that the monster exists — and that it was loose from the laboratory if its birth?  Granted, I might have missed something — it was a sleepless night for me, after all.

Let me close with two observations:

  1.  The castle housing Frankenstein’s laboratory would be a wicked cool place to live if it were properly renovated.  Think about it.  You’d need to wire it everywhere with reliable heat and electricity, and then somehow keep it dry — no small feat for an abandoned castle.   But could you imagine how amazing it would be to have a home office there?  A library?  A home theater?  A dining room?  You could have a whole Victor von Doom thing going on.
  2. I really want to see “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.”  I think that will be next for a sleepless night.


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“Be careful, when fighting muenster, that you yourself do not become the muenster.”

“Be careful, when fighting muenster, that you yourself do not become the muenster.   And stare not into the brie, because the brie also stares into you.”

— Friedrich W. Cheezsche, Beyond Good and Cheezil, 1886



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Neologism needed.

If a group of cows is called a herd, and a group of crows is called a murder, then a group of nerdy reading glasses is called a … syllabus?

A calculus course?

An AV club?

(If anyone gets offended by this, it’s worth noting that these are MY reading glasses.  Yeah, I buy ’em in bulk.  I’m HARDCORE.  ALL MY SONNETS ARE *GHETTO,* YO.)


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