Tag Archives: Eric Nolan

I am on a comic fan’s cloud nine right now.

Hey, guys — remember I told you how I just discovered that Dark Horse Comics quoted me in promoting its amazing 2019 “Grendel” series (right under Alan Moore, no less!)?

It turns out that some major entertainment news sites featured the entirety of the company’s promotional materials, so the quote was carried in tripwire magazineBroken Frontier and Pastrami Nation.

I’m still honored that I was even quoted at all, in connection with an iconic comic character that I’ve loved since I was a kid.  This is a fan’s dream!



TCV

The Roanoke Times publishes my letter about the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

I was so pleased this morning to see that The Roanoke Times published my letter to the editor about the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks.  You can find it right here.

I’m honored that my thoughts about the occasion appear to have struck a chord with people.  This same letter was featured  first on Wednesday by New York’s Newsday (with a weekday circulation of 437,000), and then here in Virginia by The Bristol Herald Courier (with a circulation of 39,000).  As The Roanoke Times has a Sunday circulation of 85,000, this would mean that the letter was distributed to 561,000 readers.

Here’s a big word of thanks to the editors of The Roanoke Times for allowing me to communicate with with my neighbors through such a superb regional newspaper.




The Bristol Herald Courier publishes my thoughts about September 11th.

More good news — The Bristol Herald Courier also published my letter today about the 20th anniversary of the September 11th terror attacks.  (This is the longer version of my commentary that originally appeared here at my blog.)

You can find the letter right here:  “Your View: Wounded, unified America we discovered after 9/11 seems long gone.”

Thanks so much to the editors at The Bristol Herald Courier for allowing me to share my thoughts through this leading regional newspaper in southwest Virginia.



My buddy photoshopped me as Wolverine; now I’m seeking an audition with the MCU.

[UPDATE: You people DO realize this is s a joke, right? I am not actually seeking the role of Wolverine.]

Wish me luck.  Below is the full text of my e-mail to Kevin Feige:

*****

SUBJ: Eric Robert Nolan *IS* Wolverine!!!

Mr. Kevin Feige
President, Marvel Studios

Dear Mr. Feige:

I am writing to you today about an immeasurable benefit that I can bring to the Marvel Cinematic Universe — a definitive silver screen interpretation of Marvel’s iconic character, Wolverine. Behold, please, the photoshopped image of me attached to this e-mail, which shows that I am uniquely suited for the role. (To fully appreciate my uncanny likeness, Mr. Feige, I must ask you here to vocalize the classic sound effect “Snickety-snick” when viewing the photo.) Although my body at age 49 might look slightly different than conventional representations of the character, I feel certain that modern CGI could remedy this.

I studied extensively with the Mary Washington College Drama Department between 1991 and 1994. I studied comic books at the same time — outside of an academic program but with an unbridled enthusiasm I never showed any of my formal studies. I also periodically defeated my formidable classmate John Matthias in debates about whether Wolverine could beat Silver Surfer — and even wrestled him about it in the lobby of New Hall before the 1994 Fall Formal. (I surprised him with the classic tactic with which you are doubtlessly familiar, Wolverine’s roaring, berserker leap.)

There are other benefits as well, should you choose to employ me for this role — I am highly skilled with puns, free-verse poetry, and deconstructing arguments made by Donald Trump supporters. I feel certain that all three of these skills would promote an enlightened and entertained workplace. I will contact your office next week to determine whether an audition can be arranged.

Kindest regards,

Eric Robert Nolan
Roanoke, Virginia

ericrnolan@gmail.com
https://ericrobertnolan.com/

P.S. — You did an outstanding job with “What If …?,” by the way!  It’s truly amazing stuff!

wolvey

Sherlock Nolan.

So tell me these aren’t the coolest themed birthday gifts ever.  An amazing lady gave me the complete Sherlock Holmes library in beautifully bound collector’s volumes, a can of Victorian London Fog tea, and a magnifying glass for investigations of my own (because I’m on to you people).

What you see up top is a wool herringbone flat cap of the kind Watson would wear.  (My benefactor here wisely deduced that Holmes’ deerstalker cap would look funny on me.)

Another pal of mine (and an MWC alum) made me homemade pizza yesterday too — complete with herbs from his own garden.  (No, not the extralegal kind — we’re talking basil and stuff.)  I truly am surrounded by the best people in life.




presents

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BUK THE SYSTEM!!

Great news! I’m honored to share here that Newington Blue Press will feature a flash fiction story of mine in the third and final volume of “Buk 100.”  The publisher is based in Germany, and produces the “Buk 100” commemorative chapbook series as an homage to German-American writer Charles Bukowski.  The first two volumes were beautifully crafted and filled with outstanding contributions from around the world.  Thanks once again to Matthias Krueger for including my work.

The story is entitled “Bill and I,” and is my stab at spinning a Bukowski-esque vignette.   I’ll share ordering details when they become available.




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By GFreihalter – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18740517

“I am a Trump supporter. Hear me roar.”

“The Credo of Cognitive Dissonance,” by Eric Robert Nolan


Any news that I dislike is fake.

Anyone with knowledge that I myself do not possess is a liar.

Anyone criticizing my preferred candidate is a traitor.

Any election results that I dislike mean that the election was rigged.

Any civil servant with whom I disagree is a member of a criminal conspiracy against me.

Any member of a minority group who exercises the same rights that I currently have is demanding special treatment.

Any news source that reports things in a manner that I dislike is part of THE MEDIA — a vast and monolithic conspiracy insidiously designed to brainwash me. Never mind that I cannot begin to suggest how such a sprawling conspiracy — involving countless ordinary people throughout America — might be organized, led, financed or coordinated.

Any news source that reports things in a manner that I DO like is not part of the dread monolith of THE MEDIA. My preferred news sources should be referred to by their individual names, like Fox News, O.A.N., Newsmax or MyPillow.com.

If one of these news sources begins to report things that I do not like, then it has “sold out” or been “taken over” by liberals, because any deviation from my preferred narrative is false. Then I will retreat to my carefully curated short list of blogs and Youtube channels, which will even better safeguard me from indoctrination.

Anyone who disagrees with me is an anarchist (or a socialist or a Marxist). My inability to define those terms in any detail makes them no less valid an accusation.

Anyone who exceeds my own accomplishments in arts, academia or communications is an elitist. I am more average than they are — and am therefore paradoxically superior. Never mind that this is far closer to the spirit of actual Marxism than the drive for individual achievement is — the Marxists are those OTHER guys. You can tell by the way they dress. You can tell by the way they talk.

My common sense is more trustworthy than any conclusion drawn from evidence — because I know how the REAL world works. I know this because I am a REAL American. It doesn’t matter that I cannot describe the First Amendment, or describe the concept of inalienable rights, or explain what separation of powers is, or even name the three branches of the American government.

My ignorance stems from humility — not intellectual laziness. My rejection of science shows I am wise. A wink and a smile will infuse any assertion of mine with the veracity of folk wisdom.

I distrust all the so-called “experts.” Things I do not like or understand are, by necessity, lies. A man’s knowledge and his honesty are inversely proportional. (This is an axiom that’s remarkably convenient for good people like me, who tend to possess less knowledge than others.) And my anthropomorphic god surely loves the humble and simple and honest folk more than the false and the arrogant.

My opinions and actions are intrinsically more American than those of others. You can tell this from the way that I pepper my language with phrases like “We the people,” “patriots,” “liberty” or “1776.” If I co-opt the language of the American Revolution, then no action of mine can be anti-American. This includes violently overthrowing America’s democratically elected government under instructions from an aspiring dictator. Terrorism is acceptable, just so long as I am play-acting a colonial American while perpetrating it.

I should be congratulated, instead of despised — lauded instead of detested. My shouts and threats and will enliven the heart, where bland and passionless reason cannot. The flag on my t-shirt is an unassailable license — to assail the very same Republic for which it is meant as an emblem.

I am a Trump supporter. Hear me roar. 




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Photo credit: Tyler Merbler, CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

It’s a Christmas Twitter Political Limerick Miracle.

So, dudes, this really cool thing happened during the first wee hours of Christmas 2019.  I couldn’t sleep (yet again) so I was Twittering in bed — I wound up responding to the #Dimerick hashtag, where people were poking fun of Donald Trump with limericks.  I wrote four.

George Conway retweeted two of them. (As you’re doubtlessly aware, he’s the husband of White House spokesperson Kellyanne Conway — which is funny, because he’s an outspoken and highly visible critic of Trump.  He’s also a very smart guy — if you’re not following him on Twitter, then you should remedy that right now. )

The two tweets just took off.  I got 8,000 “likes” on the first one that you see below, and 5.8 thousand “likes” on the second one.  (Both got more than a thousand retweets.)  All sorts of people were retweeting them at Trump, Mitch McConnell, and the rest of the Senate GOP leadership.  (If the secret police come for me, I love you all, by the way.)

I know it’s a silly thing to be proud of.  But these limericks are … my most popular poems to date.  I might have finally found my real niche.

Just for kicks, I’m sharing the other two that I wrote below as well.

 

Limerick 1

 

Limerick 2

 

Limerick 3

 

Limerick 4