A review of “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” (2013)

I felt the same way about “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” (2013) as I did about its predecessor — it’s a beautifully rendered, immersive fantasy that still falls short of being a truly great movie.  I’d give it an 8 out of 10.

The special effects are downright beautiful.  We’ve got a fantastic dragon to behold.  The acting is roundly terrific too.  I can only imagine it must be harder for a professional actor to portray a hobbit, dwarf, elf, or wizard, with their stylized language and fantastical quirks.  Yet every member of the cast was either good or great.  The obvious standouts are Sir Ian McKlellan as Gandalf and Martin Freeman as Bilbo.  Ken Stott as Balin was also quite good.

Yet the monsters and action were sometimes so cartoonish that they really challenged an adult viewer’s willing suspension of disbelief.  The battle sequence involving the barrels, for example, seemed like something out of a Warner Brothers cartoon.

I also noticed a couple of other things.  This is my fifth of Peter Jackson’s “The Lord of the Rings” movies that I’ve watched, and I am beginning to understand the viewer contention that these film’s story structures consist of a lot of “walking and fighting.”

The most interesting story element, for me, was Bilbo’s use of The Ring as his secret weapon — all the while concealing its magic from his comrades and first gaining the psychic attention of Sauron.  We also see hints that he may develop his own slavish devotion to The Ring, spookily suggested when he brutally attacks the giant spider assailants who might jeopardize his possession of it.  The Ring’s subplot (and the way it sets up “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy) engaged me more than anything else.  Throughout all the films, it’s a fantastic story device, and well suited for a fantasy context.  The Ring could be a metaphor for greed, love of power, possessive love, or even drug addiction.  It adds so much depth to the Lord of the Rings universe, and goes far beyond a story of little good guys fighting big bad guys.  To me, The Ring and Bilbo were far more entertaining than traveling dwarves greeting or fighting characters throughout Middle Earth.

There may have been pacing problems; this felt slow.  I got the sense that too much time was spent establishing Lake-town and its (fairly boring) residents, although it was great seeing the immeasurably talented Stephen Fry’s surprise turn as its “Master.”  Too much dialogue is devoted to things like arguing with elves, negotiating boat rides, and penetrating a magic door.  (And I’m still not sure how the “last light of … day” translates into an Autumn moon.)

This was a good movie, even for someone who isn’t a fan of the source material.  Given its length and its slower pacing, however, I may not feel the need to see the third film right away.

[Edit: I’m not sure why the poster below appears to cite 2014 as its release date.  Was it re-released in theaters?]

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“When I am dead …”

“When I am dead,

“I hope it may be said:

“His sins were scarlet,

“but his books were read.”

— Hilaire Belloc

 

(Thanks, Jaine Sirieys!)

 

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Photo credit: “Siegfried Sassoon Grave,” by Graham Allard, Mells Churchyard, United Kingdom, May 2006, via Wikimedia Commons.

A tiny review of “Pixels” (2015)

It’s true what they say about “Pixels” (2015) — it just wasn’t great.  It’s a pretty brainless movie, despite the fact that its sci-fi-comedy premise is actually pretty clever and funny.

I’d grudgingly give it a 6 out of 10, which is better than what many other people are saying.  It was fun, it made me laugh a couple of times, and the special effects were actually quite good.  If you were an 80’s kid, seeing Pac-Man and Donkey Kong brought to life is just too fun not to enjoy.

[UPDATE 7/29:  I am learning now via Cracked.com that the plot is a ripoff of an episode of “Futurama?”  Thanks, Wednesday Lee Friday!]

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“The Microbe is so very small …”

“The Microbe is so very small
“You cannot make him out at all,
“But many sanguine people hope
“To see him through a microscope.”

—  Hilaire Belloc, “More Beasts for Worse Children,” 1897

“Too bad the Hovitos don’t know you the way that I do … BELLOC.”

—  Indiana Jones, “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” 1981

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“We ourselves may be accidentally ‘haunting’ others …”

“Ghosts may not be a spiritual manifestation of ectoplasmic material, the psychic remains of a deceased human being.

“They may in fact be visual traces of beings from an alternate plane of existence from our current location in space-time, or visual traces of beings from some past or future date in the reality that we are consciously aware of, bleeding through into OUR here and now.

“Temporal slippage of a sort, kind of a leak through, totally random and accidental, and not in any way, shape or form malign or predestined.

“Accepting THIS as fact, we ourselves may be accidentally “haunting” others right at this very moment.”

—  Pete Harrison

My buddy above just came up with this.  I think it’s goddam impressive for 2:45 a.m.!  It reminds me of the “Walk-Ins” described by Stephen King in “Bag of Bones.”

(Pete’s t-shirt denotes his status as a fellow horror movie, magazine, and comic fan.)

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“Vermilion,” by Dennis Villelmi

Dennis Villelmi’s latest.

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“Youth is wasted on the young.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

—  George Bernard Shaw

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Damn fine product. (A one-month review of the ASUS X551-MAV-HCL 1201E laptop)

I can’t possibly pass for a computer expert, but I can tell you what’s worked for me and what hasn’t.  After a month, I can cheerfully report that I am quite happy with the ASUS X551-MAV-HCL 1201E laptop.

I read a bunch of product reviews before I purchased it; with one poorly spelled exception, customers reported that it was “good for the price.”

I agree.  As someone who really only uses Microsoft Word and the Internet, it’s been perfect.  It is actually faster than my last computer, even when that was new — it boots up quickly and connects to the Internet in a snap (even with the inferior Internet Explorer that comes standard).  It seems to handle Word and the net together just fine, and doesn’t slow down, even if multiple windows are open in my web browser.  (I didn’t even notice a significant difference when I downloaded and used the speedier Google Chrome.)  Other customers were concerned before purchase that it has a weak processor — the Intel Celeron N2830.  But I only use word processing, the web, and simple multimedia like Youtube and Netflix — not the photo editing and video creation.

It comes loaded with Windows 8.1 — but will upgrade automatically, if you sign up, for Windows 10 when that becomes available.

A few more quick notes:

1)  This laptop comes with no manual whatsoever.  You’ve got to be able to connect with your WiFi, then research the (quite lengthy) make and model to reach the manufacturer’s website for specs and information.

2)  It doesn’t come loaded with Word.  You need to download that and pay for it independently.  If you don’t want to spring for the entire Microsoft Office suite, you can get a monthly subscription to word for about $8.

3) The desktop layout is kind of useless.  There’s a matrix of square icons for programs and websites that you will probably never use. Or, if you do, you’ll habitually select them from your bookmarks.  “Trip Planner?”  “Reading List?”  “Baked Eggs and Ham?!”  We are approaching the singularity if my computer can provide me with baked eggs and ham.

4)  The laptop’s camera is pretty poor. It takes grainy images.

5)  It comes loaded with the cumbersome McAfee antivirus program.  I downloaded AVG, which I prefer.  (Most of my friends use something called “Avast” these days, but I refuse to use any antivirus program that sounds as though it were named by a pirate.)  It is always proper to have only one antivirus program operating at one time.  So I not only disabled, but dutifully tried to remove the McAfee program from my hard drive.  For some reason, I could get rid of the main program, but the “Uninstall” function will not work for its apparent companion program, “McAfee LiveSafe.”

6)  I was surprised at how easily I got customer service.  Might’ve been on the third ring, and I wasn’t placed on hold.  The representative was quite helpful.

7)  There is a one-year warranty, you’ve got to keep the document handy and ALSO register the product online with ASUS.  Beyond the one-year period, you can still call customer support for advice over the phone, which I thought was pretty nice.

8)  As for the “Incredible Beauty” and its “Classic, Timeless Design” that ASUS advertises on its website?  Well … I can’t really vouch for that.  It’s a shiny black laptop, not the goddam Mona Lisa, ASUS.

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“NO, IT’S NOT YOUR OPINION. YOU’RE JUST WRONG,” by Jef Rouner, Houston Press

I’m going to tentatively disagree with this article’s author … two people can do their best to draw empirical conclusions based on the same factual evidence, but form two different opinions.  These differences can result from unavoidable bias, differences in understanding, contextual background knowledge (expertise), each party’s paradigm for interpretation, each party’s command of logic, and each party’s level of intelligence.

All opinions should be entertained in academic discourse, right? The opinion that is better based on fact is the more informed one, but it is our job to determine that when we disagree.  An opinion can be wrong.  But we shouldn’t dismiss them outright, correct?  We should examine the extent to which they are supported by logic and evidence.

http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/no-it-s-not-your-opinion-you-re-just-wrong-7611752

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

—  recurring line, “Star Wars” saga

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