Soooooo.  Yesterday’s July 4th marked America’s 239th birthday … next year will be its 240th.  That’s 240 years.  Or 24 decades.

THIS WILL BE NEXT YEAR’S NATIONAL THEME SONG:

I propose that every American citizen endeavor to kill or capture at least one terrorist on July 4th of 2016.  In the event of failing this objective, he or she will be responsible for yelling “DAMN IT!!!” at least five times over the course of the day.