People, if you have tartar sauce in your fridge and you’re not sure it’s good, please do not hold it up to your nose and sniff it to ascertain its viability.  If in doubt, throw it out.  Trust me on this.

Because it might smell like a syphilitic dragon with an anger disorder urinated radioactive turpentine onto a raging car fire outside an ammonia factory — right after a chemical warfare attack was waged nearby by the steaming Sulphur Men from Planet Terrible.  You get the picture.

This is an important tip.  I need to jot this down for that cookbook I’m working on.

Also, “the steaming Sulphur Men from Planet Terrible” is your writing prompt for tonight.  Go.