All posts by Eric Robert Nolan

Eric Robert Nolan graduated from Mary Washington College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. He spent several years a news reporter and editorial writer for the Culpeper Star Exponent in Culpeper, Virginia. His work has also appeared on the front pages of numerous newspapers in Virginia, including The Free Lance – Star and The Daily Progress. Eric entered the field of philanthropy in 1996, as a grant writer for nonprofit healthcare organizations. Eric’s poetry has been featured by Dead Beats Literary Blog, Dagda Publishing, The International War Veterans’ Poetry Archive, and elsewhere. His poetry will also be published by Illumen Magazine in its Spring 2014 issue.

“A lot of sports happened.”

Found on VectorBelly.com and Imgur.com.

This reminds me of my news reporter days at the Culpeper Star-Exponent, when I would endlessly kid the sports staff about their beats.

Of course, I was just being an obnoxious twerp.  My more experienced colleagues, David Utnik and Michael Hicks, were tremendously capable journalists who handled people and information with skills that I hadn’t learned yet.

But … to someone who is NOT a sports fan … this IS rather what sports interviews sound like!

Thanks to my great friend Carrie Schor for passing this along.  🙂

Image

A frightening future, skillfully envisioned — God help “The Pustoy.”

“The Pustoy” is a frightening and effective set of vignettes detailing the rise of a genocidal dictator in a dystopian future Britain.  When scientists ostensibly discover “the soul,” a scapegoated underclass, accused of being without souls, are executed on sight.  They are “The Pustoy” (Russian for “empty”), and their government sanctioned murder is painted cheerfully by the government as a needed national public service.

Philippe Blenkiron’s creation is an epic political poem with depth and detail, but it is still quite easy to read.  Fans of “1984”and “Brave New World” will doubtlessly find it a dark and satisfying bedtime story.

I think what surprised me the most is that this poetry collection will please fans of horror and thrillers as well.  Blenkiron has a terribly nice knack for rendering fearful images – be sure to take a close look at his various descriptions of the Staffhounds.  Yeesh.  If Blenkiron so masterfully creates such scary bad guys, it makes me wonder whether he might write horror stories.  I’d happily read them if he does.

He has a wonderfully unique voice.  And his ability to juggle of various points of view – each of which has a distinct, character- specific voice – is admirable.

This is a compelling set of poems.  Pick it up here at Amazon.com:

Image

Bucket List Addition: Planet of the Apes. (DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.)

1)  Save enough money for voice coaching lessons to develop the best Charlton Heston impression ever.  Also, bail money for disturbing the peace.

2)  Visit Liberty Island wearing nothing but tattered slacks.

3)  Just fall to my knees and start screaming: “You blew it up! You maniacs! God damn you! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”

Image

Fast food public relations “Don’ts.”

Fun with neologisms. Or not.

A Taco John’s manager in South Dakota allegedly forces a 16-year-old gay employee to help customers with a nametag bearing the slur “Gaytard.”

It’s an interesting use of language — he’s managed to target and disparage two demographics with as many syllables: gays and people with developmental disabilities.

Forget the old saying — I suspect that there actually IS such a thing as bad publicity.

See the link:

http://www.advocate.com/business/2014/06/26/teen-restaurant-worker-forced-wear-gaytard-name-tag

Stuff only my writer friends say to me …

“Ah. You’re in that kind of mood. I can feel the thick inky blackness seeping out of your soul and through the Ethernet.”

Wow. Get your metaphor on, Girl.
 

I’m here to spread joy, basically.

So this was blackly humorous …

My website, like most others, is configured so that I can see which search terms users employ to arrive there via Google.

Some kind soul searched for “secretary poem,” doubtlessly to find some happy verse to remind some cherished subordinate that they are appreciated.  He found my poem entitled “The Secretary,” first published by Dagda and currently appearing in Illumen Magazine.  I hope he enjoys it.

My poem, of course, describes a woman marginalized by corporate culture who kills herself in her garage out of loneliness.

I guess it’s just my usual habit of diminishing the light for the kind.

Gonna e-mail my CIA friend at work tomorrow …

… gonna play that gag where I pretend to be a North Korean agent.

BECAUSE THE GREAT GREEN DRAGON OF NORTH KOREA WILL BE UNDETERRED AND WILL VANQUISH ITS AMERICAN OPPRESSORS.

And because there can be no possible unforeseen consequences for a joke like that.

This is the same guy who has assured me repeatedly that the National Security Agency does not monitor my blog.  Let’s see how cavalier he is about the possibility now.

“The Ponds of Apperception”

XIX. The Waters

by W. H. Auden

Poet, oracle, and wit
Like unsuccessful anglers by
The ponds of apperception sit,
Baiting with the wrong request
The vectors of their interest,
At nightfall tell the angler’s lie.

With time in tempest everywhere,
To rafts of frail assumption cling
The saintly and the insincere;
Enraged phenomena bear down
In overwhelming waves to drown
Both sufferer and suffering.

The waters long to hear our question put
Which would release their longed-for answer, but.

 

— thanks to Poemhunter.com for the text

 

Image

 

I want to join the Lunar Independence League!!!

Because, dammit, that’s the kind of rebel I am.

Which side will you pick?  Service? Then this blog might not be the best place for you, because I have some authority issues.

The universe of J.S. Collyer’s upcoming “Zero” sounds downright intriguing — it’s got an interesting and well constructed setup, and what sounds like a hell of a lot of great world-building and complex character interaction, not to mention a troubled hero that is precisely the kind of protagonist that I like to read about.  Jex has a real corker of a story for her debut science fiction novel.

Meet her at the link below, where she talks about her new book, and Dagda Publishing’s new marketing campaign to give “Zero” the visibility it deserves.

Seriously, it sounds like pure fun.  If you’re a Battlestar Galactica fan like me, you might be jonesing for some fallible heroes and complex political and military crises.

There are also some wonderfully creative goodies that Dagda is giving away, as well.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/zero-the-debut-novel-by-j-s-collyer-marketing-campaign

Image

 

 

 

 

THIS VIDEO CHANGED MY LIFE. (And it can change yours too.)

It’s only nine seconds long, and yet … it re-instilled a sense of joy and wonder that has been absent in me since boyhood.  It is a pleasure to behold, or even contemplate.

Play it.  Make sure the sound is turned on.  And watch the cat.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/a-cat-ran-into-a-door-during-a-french-tv-baking-show-and-it