Western Wind
Western wind, when wilt thou blow,
The small rain down can rain?
Christ! That my love were in my arms
And I in my bed again!
— Anonymous, 16th Century
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“Fear, hatred, adulation, and orgiastic triumph.”
“Even the humblest Party member is expected to be competent, industrious, and even intelligent within narrow limits, but it is also necessary that he should be a credulous and ignorant fanatic whose prevailing moods are fear, hatred, adulation, and orgiastic triumph.”
— from George Orwell’s “1984”
Yeesh. Lotta nightmares last night.
Rescue a helpless little girl lying unconscious in the street during the vampire apocalypse? The tiny one with golden braids and porcelain skin? There’s a reason you couldn’t feel her heartbeat. Her skin is porcelain because she’s undead. Have fun watching her rise, slowly and ceremoniously, in the makeshift fortress of your living room. For added fun, the lock on your bedroom door won’t work! Ha! The moral of the story? No good deed goes unpunished.
Thrilled to see your childhood dog again? She’s NOT thrilled to see you. Because she’d been buried in “Pet Sematary” or something, and she’s biting your fingers because she remembers all those times you pulled her tail when you were three. (Mom TOLD you to stop, but you couldn’t resist.) The moral of the story? [In best Fred Gwynne voice:] “Sometimes dead is better.” Also: be kind to animals!
That wicked cool GIGANTIC snake you keep snapping pictures of when it drinks from the backyard birdbath? The one with a head the width of a shovel? It’s actually NOT harmless merely because you cannot see any fangs. It all fun and games until it wraps its coils around you, and you realize it’s a python. For added fun, your Mom can’t hear you in the kitchen and cannot respond to your pleas for her to throw you a butcher knife, and then shut the open back door to protect herself. For added confusion, your childhood home NEVER HAD A F***ING BIRDBATH. (We WERE the 99 percent.) The moral of the story? [IN best MST3K voice:] “Watch out for snakes!” Also: if clothes don’t make the man, then fangs don’t make the snake.
Christ! What did I EAT last night?
“KEEP YOUR SCHOOL *ALL AMERICAN!*”
That awkward moment when an alien acts more American than many Americans …
The poster is from the 1950’s.
“Language was invented for one reason, boys — to woo women …”
“To keep them in control was not difficult.”
“So long as they (the Proles) continued to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of ancestral pattern…Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbors, films, football, beer and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.”
— from George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four”
Photo credit: By Michael Vadon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons.
Donald Trump calls for a database and surveillance of all Muslims.
Americans, please consider voting for me.
The first priority of my administration will be establishing a database and surveillance of rich assholes.
Also? A free copy of George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four” to any American citizen who requests one. A copy of the United States Constitution will be tucked inside.
The Six-word Fantasy Story Challenge
Here’s what I came up with:
1) “The kingdom is burning. Hold me.”
2) Frigid giants arise from enchanted ice.
3) Within that crystal, endless worlds turned.
4) Magic wrens rescued her from nightmare.
5) Six elves, six dragons? Good odds.
6) The statutes were men, magically doomed.
7) Prophecies foretold invasion. But … by fairies?!
8) My third wish? Infinite wishes. (Duh.)
9) With this ring, I thee RULE.
“Paris is a moveable feast.”
“Berlin Undead” is playing for free over at Hulu.
There’s a German zombie movie over at Hulu that I highly recommend. Its name is “Rammbock” (2011); the somewhat unimaginative Americanized title is “Berlin Undead.” (And that’s also inaccurate, because the baddies chasing us are infected people, a la “28 Days Later.” A Hulu membership isn’t required. The film is in German, with English subtitles.
I’m surprised I don’t hear more praise for this movie among zombie horror fans. It’s nicely made, and it’s scary in parts. Its lovelorn, likeable oaf of a protagonist (Michael Fuith) is such an everyman that he’s easy to identify with. And his cunning high school-age companion (Theo Trebs) seems like he would be the coolest foreign exchange student ever.
Check it out:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/398201
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 