Throwback Thursday: “Razorback” (1984)!!

Legit question for rural Australians  — how do I kill the 30 to 50 feral hogs that run into my yard within 3 to 5 mins while my small kids play?

If you’re anything like me, you’re endlessly regaled by all the viral jokes this past week referencing “30 to 50 feral hogs.”  (And if you’re nothing like me, then you’re an intelligent adult and I congratulate you.  But you can google the new trope, which I have paraphrased above, if you want to.  It is the very height of preposterous predatory animal political humor.)

The jokes made me remember this little disappointment from the 1980’s — the Aussies’ own feral hog horror movie, 1984’s somewhat lethargic “Razorback.”  If memory serves, I rented this sometime around 1986, I suppose.  I  got it on VHS from my nearest shopping center’s sole mom-and-pop video store, before Blockbuster Video’s invasion reached my area.

There are people out there who fondly remember “Razorback.”  You can find some nice compliments about it over at Rotten Tomatoes.  People  enjoy its “atmosphere.”  People like Gregory Harrison a lot.

I didn’t like it.  Sure, it had a pretty neat electronic score that seemed trippy and cool to me as a young high school student.  But that was its only redeeming quality.  It started off with its depressing plot setup, which you can see in the first video below — the titular wild boar absconds with a baby boy.  (The boar also thoughtfully burns the child’s house down as it departs, to underscore that fact that it is an asshole.)

The rest of the movie is boring, because it’s yet another one of those monster movies where you never get to see much of the monster — right up until the movie’s poorly lit climax, which takes place in a slaughterhouse, I think?  Which is supposed to be ironic or something?  Don’t quote me on this stuff; 1986 was a long time ago.  For comparison, think of the legion zombie “thrillers” always available on Netflix where the zombies are always outside, and the movie just follows the indoors arguments among three very-much-alive people inside a windowless warehouse.  I want to invoke the inevitable “wild bore movie” pun, but I’m holding back, because my friends tell me that they have enough of that sort of thing.

I used my own money to rent “Razorback,” probably earned from either my confusing stint at McDonald’s (they just didn’t get me there) or my summer job cleaning boats and lobster traps.  (I lived on an island, people.)  I remember being slightly disgruntled that I’d wasted my hard-earned cash.

Honestly, though, I was a credulous kid when it came to a movie’s marketing.  When I read the back of the VHS boxes, I took things at face value.  I also had my heart set on something called “The Alien’s Deadly Spawn” (1983), which I realize now was just a no-budget early mockbuster ripping off Ridley Scott’s “Alien” (1979).  (It was always out.  I finally caught snatches of it on Youtube this past spring, and it looks pretty unwatchable.)

 

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Achtung, Nerdy.

Apparently some of my poetry readings were picked up by a video hosting site in Germany?  I … don’t know how any of this works, to be honest.  But it looks like the De-Visions platform borrowed a few readings from my Youtube account and then shared them in a different video format(?)

I honestly don’t mind.  Thanks for the exposure, De-Visions.

The readings include my interpretation of Philippe Atherton-Blenkiron’s superb “Operation Staffhound,” as well as Jenny Santellano’s readings of my poems.

 

 

 

George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” (1968)

So I raised a few eyebrows a while back when I praised the 2004 colorized version of the late George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” (1968).  A couple of horror fans gave me flack for it — I hope people realize that I was talking about the last (and best) colorization, adapted by Legend Films.  (There were several prior color versions, and the 1986 attempt by Hal Roach Studios was broadly and justifiably condemned.)

I also hope that people realize that my preferred version will always be Romero’s black-and-white original.  And it just so happens that I found an unusually good copy of it online, over at the Timeless Classic Movie Youtube channel.  (There are actually some really clean copies of a few great classics there, including 1964’s “The Last Man on Earth”).

 

Jenny S. reads Rob Plath’s “a thousand cab rides away”

I happened across another of Jenny S.’ poetry readings that I especially enjoyed — this time it was her interpretation of Rob Plath’s superb poem, “a thousand cab rides away.”  It is a sad piece, with an absolutely perfect closing line, and Jenny reads it beautifully.

If you enjoy the poem as much as I do, then you should also check out the Jenny S. Poetry Readings Youtube channel.

 

Care to peruse my Youtube channel?

Just a reminder — if you happen to enjoy any of my poetry readings here at the blog, then you can find more over at my Youtube channel.  There is a playlist for me reading the work of other poets, and another short playlist for me reading my own work.

I hope that all you guys have had a wonderful weekend!

 

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Old-time radio horror shows (because I need another nerdy hobby)

So I’ve discovered a fun and easily accessible treatment for insomnia, and it’s also an interesting diversion for a horror fan looking for a change of pace.  There are no small number of horror and suspense radio shows from the 1930’s, 40’s and 50’s on Youtube.  (They actually do have a significant online fandom.)

The programs are typically 30 to 40 minutes long, and the audio-only stories make you feel like you’re reading a book before bedtime (which for many people is a perfect treatment for sleeplessness).

The horror is a bit mild compared with modern films or TV shows, of course.  But it’s still fun hearing what people found spooky before the days of television.  It’s even better if the recording contains the original radio ads, which are even weirder than you might expect.

I started one last night that was narrated by the legendary Peter Lorre, and I know that Vincent Price starred in a slew of them.

 

 

 

That “Alien Interrogation” video on Youtube.

That headline above is probably misleading — I’m sure there are more than one “alien interrogation” videos on Youtube.

But this is the one I happened across a while back and … quite like.  I just shared it with a friend the other night.  It’s a neat little sci-fi short film with some damned cool ideas in its four and a half minutes.  Check it out.