Tag Archives: 2013

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A very short review of “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” (2013)

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“Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” (2013) might not match the magic of the original, but it was still damn funny; I’d give it a 9 out of 10.

Occasionally a major gag was so bizarre that it was more perplexing than funny (Dobie the shark, the RV accident, the ghost of Stonewall Jackson).  But this movie is mostly a great and nicely quotable farce, as the first one was.  Predictably, the biggest laughs result from Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Brick Tamland (Steve Carell).  But Paul Rudd and David Koechner both are still perfect as Brian Fantana and Champ Kind, and they add a lot.

I think movies like this tend to work best when farcical, over-the-top characters are played against “straight men” characters; here, Ron’s dinner with his girlfriend’s family is a perfect example.

Weird world — I thought that the guy in Marvel’s “Ant Man” posters looked familiar.  That’s Rudd.

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“ISIS Rising” (2013) might be the stupidest documentary ever.

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“ISIS Rising” (2013) is a film with no educational value, and I can’t believe anyone could find it helpful in understanding the terrifying events connected with ISIS in Iraq and Syria.  Throughout this film’s entire running length, it yields no genuine insight into the international crisis.  Indeed, it doesn’t even provide the viewer with any information whatsoever!  I’d rate it at a 0 out of 10.

The filmmakers here made a truly bizarre major creative decision in trying to inform the viewer via … metaphor?  We are actually introduced early on to a character name “ISIS.”  She is, inexplicably, a buxom female mummy.  No … you read that right.  ISIS is represented by a major character who is a big-bosomed, female mummy.  She fights a male mummy (presumably representing Western democracies?!).  In fact, the entire film plays out like a low-budget pageant set in ancient Egypt.  Why was that choice made?  How does the pantheon of ancient Egyptian Gods relate to radical Islam in the modern world?  Isn’t that a bit like employing Roman mythology as a metaphor for contemporary Christianity, Judaism, or another modern religion?

There is a preponderance of breasts.  What did they symbolize?  Iraq and Syria?  When ISIS the lady mummy clutches her breasts, does that represent the terrorist army clutching the two countries in its grip?  And what about the barely dressed male mummy?  Should I be offended that the United States and her allies are represented by some guy’s giant schvantz?

Skip this.

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“Fright Night 2” was an average night.

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I submit that the direct-to-video “Fright Night 2” (2013) is the paragon of average horror movies.  It is neither great nor terrible.  You don’t immediately call your friends to recommend it, but you don’t bemoan its $1 rental price at Redbox either.  I’d give it a 6 out of 10.

The movie suffers greatly from an insufferably irritating iteration of protagonist Charlie Brewster.  He’s uncharismatic in every scene, including those showing his weaselly entreaties to the girlfriend who left him after he cheated on her.  (He is played blandly by Will Payne; she is played rather well by Sacha Parkinson.)  Entirely absent is the charm and likable innocence that Anton Yelchin brought to the role in 2011’s “Fright Night.”  (Kyle Reese fought vampires in 2011, then aided John Connor in the future to fight terminators, evidently.)

The lackluster Charlie here is compensated for by a terrific villain.  Jaime Murray is a fantastic female equivalent of Dracula.  She’s a strong actress, she’s a quite tall brunette who looks the part, and she knows how to both sex it up and scare us.  I love her as a bad guy (gal).  I’d love to see her play a conspirator on one of the nerd community’s most anticipated upcoming revivals: “24” or “The X Files.”  I’m told she has a role on that … medieval show that people watch.  “Shame of Thrones?”  “Dame of Thrones?”  I’ve never seen an episode.

“Fright Night 2” benefits from Romania as a wonderful shooting location, and it’s captured nicely by the talented eye of director Eduardo Rodriguez.  What is the deal with average or mediocre horror films being filmed on location in Romania?  Is it just really cheap to shoot there, like Prague?

Anyway, this movie’s title is a misnomer.  This movie isn’t a sequel to the terrific 2011 film.  It is actually a remake — we again meet Charlie Brewster and Peter Vincent (the very cool Sean Power) for the first time.  It’s confusing.  I’m guessing that this was a rejected script for the 2011 film that they decided to shoot anyway?

And here is my requisite exposition to silence the pedants in advance — of course we are all aware that this is a “remake of a remake.”  The 2011 film is a nice update of the 80’s classic.  (And wasn’t that fun flick the talk of the neighborhood back in the day?)

Sooooo, seeing how average this film was, I really can’t recommend that you ether watch it or skip it.  I guess I can just offer a neutral “hmm.”  I’d suggest that it is acceptable fare if you’re an especially ardent vampire movie fan who has already viewed the classics that are easily available.

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Wolverine does not practice safe sex.

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Think about it.  He suffers from chronic nightmares, awakens in a panic attack, and then gets all stabbity-stabbity towards whichever woman happens to be closest to his bed.  We saw this in “The X-Men” (2000), but thankfully Rogue’s plot convenient powers saved her.  No mention is made of this to Mariko in “The Wolverine”  (2013).  Should he be … kinda sorta responsible for informing any women he spends the night with about his sleep disorder?

Anyway, I am blogging my past movie reviews from Facebook.  This was my take on “The Wolverine.”  I didn’t despise this movie the way so many others did, but my response was somewhat tepid for a lifelong fan of the character.

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I understand what the filmmakers were trying to do with “The Wolverine” (2013) – I really do. They were trying to make an X-Men movie with less flash and more substance. And it was a good plan – taking a “gritty” and clichéd dark character and humanizing him with a lot of introspective character study. Which should have been the ingredients for a great movie.

This was an average film, though – I’d give it a 7 out of 10. For one, it was a bit slow and chatty at times for an “X Men” movie. For another, some of the action sequences and villains were just too cheesy. Silver Samurai reminded me constantly of the 1980’s “Voltron” cartoon, and Viper was really just a poor man’s Poison Ivy with unimpressive powers.

This movie does do a really nice job in upgrading an old action movie trope – fighting on the roof of a moving train. That was fun.

Can anyone explain to me how Wolverine got his claws back? How the hell did that happen?!

Also … is he mortal now? That would explain the “older” Wolverine we see in the posters for “X-Men: Days of Future Past.”

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A tiny review of “V/H/S/2” (2013).

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I wanted to love “V/H/S/2” (2013).  I really did.  I loved the first one, and I like the subversive, no-holds-barred tone of the franchise.  But I can only give this a 4 out of 10.

The first segment had a creative premise; the point-of-view device for the second segment was fantastic.  (Why hasn’t a zombie filmmaker thought of that before?)  But there is just too much bad acting, bad dialogue and annoying shaky-cam, along with some painfully low-budget special effects.

I’d recommend viewing only the second segment and skipping the rest.  (And even that one isn’t exactly high art.)

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One scary “Mama.”

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“Mama” (2013) was quite good; I’d give it an 8 out of 10.  Jessica Chastain does a great job with a well written character arc — initially unlikable, but then a surprising heroine.  And it’s great that she got top billing, instead of the film’s obligatory telegenic male protagonist, who actually spends a lot of time off-screen.

Guillermo del Toro actually didn’t direct this, as I thought — he was the executive producer.  The director and screenwriter was Andrés Muschietti.  But I swear this has the feel of del Toro’s work.  It could stand as a thematic sequel to the wonderful “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” remake, for example, which also had strong elements of childhood fantasy and motherhood as a theme.

And what a great and beautifully creepy use of CGI to render the title baddie.  In fact, the whole movie was visually terrific, with a fairy-tale-ish use of movement and color that was cool, creative and different.  There are really clever flourishes for fright-flick fans — I personally really liked the tug-of-war scene.

I occasionally noticed some plot-convenient mysteries … one character is assaulted but survives?  And “Mama” can move with either lightning speed or plodding slowness, depending on what the story calls for.  And … at one point … do we actually have a zombie?  Do we need to call on Rick Grimes and his band of survivors from “The Walking Dead?”

This was fun.  Check it out.

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