As much as I would like to succeed as a writer, my primary existential goal in life is to finally inform everyone that I am not, in fact, actor James Woods.

I’ve heard about the likeness since I was 16 or so, and even I can admit that the resemblance is quite strong.  It is incredibly cool watching John Carpenter’s “Vampires” and seeing … myself fight the title monsters.

But I’m not him.  Really.

Anyway, I do have Facebook friends who love to exacerbate my neuroses — here is a “separated at birth” -type comparison of me and the actor.  My MOM initially couldn’t tell the difference, and asked why I “looked so funny in the second picture.”

Thanks, Mom.

Sigh.