I was chased by a bull when I was 19.

I was hiking around Locust Grove, Orange County, in the perilous land of VIRGINIA. The Internet, and even DVDs, weren’t a thing yet. In my day, people had to AIMLESSLY WALK LONG DISTANCES just for fun.

It wasn’t pleasant; holy crap. I was even wearing red shorts at the time.

There are two morals to the story:

1) Never trespass, but especially at farms.

2) Hiking is bad for you. Stay home and watch TV.

Friends kept calling me “The Bull Runner” in college.  I made it a point to eat burgers at the school cafeteria every day, because Karma’s a bitch, Baby.


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