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How to try on new sunglasses like an idiot.

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  1.  Walk to bathroom.
  2.  Put on new sunglasses.
  3.  Look in mirror.
  4.  Lament the fact that, no matter what expression you make, you do not even remotely resemble Jack Bauer.  Even when you mutter, “Dammit. Chloe!”

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6.  Walk back from bathroom.

7.  Forget you are WEARING sunglasses.

8.  PANIC when everything in your bedroom appears so DARK.  WHAT HAPPENED?!  Solar eclipse?!  Meteor strike?! Rapture?!  Ragnarok?!   Cthulhu?!  Ben Carson elected president?!  THE WORLD MADE SENSE THREE MINUTES AGO.

9.  Realize your mistake.

10.  Spend 12 minutes trying to figure out whether you are senile or an imbecile.

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2 thoughts on “How to try on new sunglasses like an idiot.”

  1. “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass

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