Why do YOU think my closet stinks?

(And bear in mind I did my laundry a day ago.)

1) Yesterday’s wet socks.

2) I dropped candy in there? Can candy go bad?

3) Surreptitious raccoon habitat.

4) The existential decay from all my dead dreams.

5) Because Mark Zuckerberg is monetizing this somehow.

6) Dragons.

7) I unknowingly share it with an invisible gangrened lumberjack.

8) Tucker Carlson’s dead goddam soul.

9) THERE IS NO CLOSET. (The Matrix has me.)

10) Polonium.

11) The ghost of a wet dog that died in a fit of depression long, long ago.

12) The writers for “The Walking Dead” stashed their latest script in there.



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