God help me, I just ordered a fanny pack.

We need to call it something else to make it seem cooler. Tactical Urban Street Transporter?

If we call it a Tactical REMOVABLE Urban Street Transporter we can go with the acronym T.R.U.S.T., but I’m not sure how cool that sounds — I’ve never been an expert on what’s cool. T.R.U.S.T. sounds like a credit-building plan suggested by a patient, sympathetic banker.

Tactical Urban Freight Forwarder (T.U.F.F.)? No.

Tactical Omnipurpose Urban Ghetto Holder-of-things (T.O.U.G.H.) ? No.

Update: a pal of mine just suggested “Otter Pocket.” Hold up. That’s actually brilliant, because it compels me to adopt a corresponding otter occupant. And I have always wanted an excuse to enlist an otter.

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