“When things get bad enough, then something happens to correct the course. And it’s for that reason that I speak about evolution as an error-making and an error-correcting process. And if we can be ever so much better – ever so much slightly better – at error correcting than at error making, then we’ll make it.”
— Jonas Salk, inventor of first successful polio vaccine
His (or her!) modus operandi is actually pretty simple. Anybody can right-click a corporate logo for use as a Facebook profile picture, and then create a false account using a corporate-sounding name and a throwaway cell phone number. (Troublingly enough, spammers are known to do the same thing to impersonate private users, by right-clicking publicly available profile pictures.)
But this guy is the Lex Luthor of trolls, and his antagonism of complaining Target customers achieves the level of online performance art. The controversy into which he’s inserted himself is whether or not Target should have gender-specific sections for children’s toys.
Check out some samples of his pathos via this recent article at Adweek:
Why, yes. Yes, it was. It ran for a single season in 1974.
Was it any good? No. No, it wasn’t, judging from its pilot. I at first typed “Planet of the Peas” in the headline you see above, and that typo was more entertaining than the actual program.
What we’ve got here is a poorly scripted, milquetoast rehash of the famous films, which (let’s be honest) were themselves high on camp and low on brains.
We have little of the charm of the movies, yet all of their cheesiness. A spaceship is not designed to travel through time, but still helpfully features an ostentatious “chronometer.” Our astronauts never suspect their real location until it is revealed to them — despite the fact that the apes speak modern, Americanized English. Then our square-jawed heroes react minimally to the news that everyone they know or love is dead, along with their civilization. Solving this central mystery is helped by an ancient, plot-convenient textbook, which thoughtfully contains pictures of both human-built machines and apes in cage.
Other flaws are more egregious. Roddy McDowall and Booth Coleman both return as apes. Confusingly, however, they do not reprise their film roles — they are actually different ape characters. The humor falls flat. (McDowall’s ape is a … nepotist? Or something?) And continuity with the movies is either clumsy or nonexistent.
I’d rate this short-lived program at a 3 out of 10 for three things that were neat. One, the ape makeup and costuming is still fun. Two, McDowall is always fun to watch and was a superb actor, even under all that makeup. And, three, this really can scratch your nostalgia itch for popular 1970’s science fiction. (Let’s dress up and play low-budget make-believe in the Southern California desert, shall we?)
“So short a time to learn so much? It leaves me with no choice. I shall send him to my hardest parish.”
— the Bishop, from Margaret Craven’s “I Heard the Owl Call My Name”
I’d give “Extinction” (2015) a 6 out of 10; it’s a fairly average postapocalyptic horror movie. And that’s kind of sad, as it seemed to have the ingredients for a great one.
We open with a delightfully scary nocturnal ambush on two school buses crowded with fleeing refugees. The scene isn’t perfect. (The soldiers here are both too stoical and too stupid.) But it’s effective thanks to its claustrophobic setup. The assailants actually aren’t zombies or “undead” — they’re vicious, fast-moving mutants that are far more interesting. (Their monsteryness is contagious and catches quickly, a la 2002’s “28 Days Later.” This predictably spells disaster for the busses’ passengers.) The animalistic albino baddies actually reminded me a lot of the creatures from “Mutants” (2009).
Then we jump ahead nine years, where two men and a nine-year-old girl suspect that they are the last of the world’s survivors. But three people are enough for conflict, human nature being what it is. There is a creatively conceived and fresh idea for a particularly dark end-of-the-world drama. Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox are both very good; yet the incredibly talented young Quinn McColgan outshines them both. (Seriously, that little girl is off the hook. Her performance might be the best thing about the film.) The makeup effects for the monsters (here only referred to as “they” or “them”) are surprisingly fantastic for what seems like a low-budget film. And you can tell that a nice amount of thought went into this movie, even if its understanding of Darwin is a little puzzling. (Why would blindness be an adaptive trait for the monsters?)
I’m just not sure why this movie didn’t work so well for me. Its formula sure as hell worked for “28 Days Later” and “Maggie” (2015).
Here’s what I think the problem was — the conflict between the two men was a plot that just never advanced. One hates the other. We eventually find out why, and it’s a compelling plot point, rendered fairly well in flashback. But … it’s a static situation that just doesn’t proceed anywhere. I actually got bored.
The monsters often did little to advance the tension. They are usually offscreen, absent entirely, or even (in much of the movie’s beginning) presumed extinct. My attention really did wander.
Finally, the extremely cheesy musical score detracted greatly from the tension that the movie does manage to establish. This horror movie sounded like a Lifetime Channel movie-of-the-week. That is not a good thing. If only those violin players had been victims of the initial apocalypse.
Oh, well. This is still a fairly good end-of-the-world tale. And the creepy-crawlies were nice, when we got to see them.
Seen on Facebook:
“You can’t spell “pirate” without “irate.” I regret nothing.” — Robert Adams
I think that’s brilliant. It’s concise, expressive, pathological and honest.
I want that to be my epitaph! 😀
Photo credit: By Madpack (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons.
Photo credit: By Baker131313 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
So an old college pal wrote to me the other day to ask for advice on which recent Stephen King novel he might check out. He told me that he was interested in something more mainstream horror. He said he enjoyed King more before the author “got into all the dark tower stuff and a wondering dude.” I steered my friend away from “Joyland” and toward “Mr. Mercedes.”
But I love that typo. A “wondering dude” immediately makes me think “The Dude” from “The Big Lebowski” wandering around Mid-world, befuddled, after accidentally stepping through an inter-dimensional door. He’d have a “beverage” in one hand and a WTF expression on his face.
We are “NEAR THE WALKING DEAD.”
AMC’s marketing job is doing a bang-up job. These posters are terrific, as was the full-length trailer.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 