I respond to e-mails from editors with the word “swell!!”

Because “The Beaver” is the professional image I wish to project …

Although, if you write horror, it’s more like 666 tabs being open …

Why, yes — yes it does.

But here’s “Minstrel Boy.”

Gonna call it Pink Freud.

http://www.policymic.com/articles/85615/when-is-it-okay-to-say-retard-check-this-chart

CUZ I’M THE WRITER MAN.

No … I am not writing a story in which canteloupe is a plot point.

F**K. I just misspelled it, didn’t I?

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are cheap and easily accessible.

To me, this is evidence of the divine.

It’s the best stab at theology I can make.

My toes ache (right foot), my publisher just called me “gramps,” and a 20-something friend just told me he’s never seen an Indiana Jones movie.

I. Feel. OLD.