Category Archives: Uncategorized

THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

So my latest get-rich-quick scheme is to rent out billboard space on my truly immense damned forehead.  Seriously. Look at that thing.  I do believe that it is actually getting bigger by the year, but I don’t want to follow that thought through to its logical conclusion, because it would mean that I have a receding hairline.

Anyway, the price is negotiable.  No pro-Trump messages, of course.  (And I’m sure the president will be disappointed, because my forehead is the possibly the only space large enough to fit the word “HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE” in big bold letters.)  I cannot ethically advertise any product that exposes credulous white people to questionable chemicals.  So neither will I promote either Essential Oils nor Pumpkin Spice Latte.  When it comes to my giant forehead, With great power comes great responsibility.

Or maybe I could rent the space out as a movie screen, what with drive-ins bouncing back during the pandemic.  You could throw some Alfred Hitchcock up there.

 

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Winedrunk Sidewalk features “I Am Going To Drive Drunk Tonight”

I’m honored today to see my satirical essay, “I Am Going To Drive Drunk Tonight” appear over at Winedrunk Sidewalk: Shipwrecked in Trumpland.  You can find the piece right here.

As always, thanks to Editor John Grochalski for allowing me to add my voice at Winedrunk Sidewalk!

 

 

Cover to “The Question” #34, Denys Cowan, 1990

DC Comics.

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Illustration of a Solar Eclipse from “The Young Folks’ Astronomy,” 1881

New York, H. Holt and Company.

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“One tongue is silent, Prospero, My language is my own.”

One tongue is silent, Prospero,

My language is my own;

Decayed Gonzalo does not know

The shadow that Antonio

Talks to, at noon, alone.

— Antonio’s refrain. from W. H. Auden’s The Sea and the Mirror

 

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Photo credit: By Kenny Louie from Vancouver, Canada – Form, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24336137

To a Friend Who Unfriended Me on Facebook:

To a Friend Who Unfriended Me on Facebook:

Sorry I employed the Socratic method to deflate your position and illustrate for the world how poorly you conceived it. I’m also sorry I posted evidence on your wall that vividly contradicts your argument. Finally, I’m sorry that I made fun of your spelling and grammar.

Get smarter, #$%^&*@#$%^&.

Sincerely,

Eric Robert Nolan

 

 

Variant Cover to “Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man” #9, Wood Dae Shim, 2019

“Carnage-ized” variant.  Marvel Comics.

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“prayer upon an empty hilltop,” by Eric Robert Nolan

what stars I find will usher me,
the moon will beam camaraderie,
what winds will wind around my ears
will bend to answer for my fears.

between them, all the endless space
will draw eternity to face
with vast and reassuring mien
the quandaries of the unserene.

here, the shade of me will mark
a figure in the violet dark.
all the hilltop consorts know
identity’s illusion, though.

let starlight penetrate my skin,
the moon expand to let me in,
the winds, again, absorb my voice,
if retrieval be their choice.

— (c) Eric Robert Nolan 2020

 

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By Jeremy Bishop tidesinourveins – https://unsplash.com/photos/wtEO1tLeNQwImageGallery, CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=62203699

Cover to “The Flash” #118, Mike Wieringo, 1996

DC Comics.

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“A new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever.”

And suddenly he thought, I’m the abnormal one now. Normalcy was a majority concept, the standard of many and not the standard of just one man.

Abruptly that realization joined with what he saw on their faces–awe, fear, shrinking horror–and he knew that they were afraid of him. To them he was some terrible scourge they had never seen, a scourge even worse than the disease they had come to live with. He was an invisible specter who had left for evidence of his existence the bloodless bodies of their loved ones. And he understood what they felt and did not hate them. His right hand tightened on the tiny envelope of pills. So long as the end did not come with violence, so long as it did not have to be a butchery before their eyes.

Robert Neville looked out over the new people of the earth. He knew he did not belong to them; he knew that, like the vampires, he was anathema and black terror to be destroyed. And, abruptly, the concept came, amusing to him even in his pain.

A coughing chuckle filled his throat. He turned and leaned against the wall while he swallowed the pills. Full circle, he thought while the final lethargy crept into his limbs. Full circle. A new terror born in death, a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever.

I am legend.

― Richard Matheson, I Am Legend and Other Stories

 

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