Category Archives: Uncategorized

Cover to “The Sandman Universe” #1, June Chung and Jae Lee, 2018

Vertigo.

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Scared Soapless!

Guys, if you are looking for a cool, fun, horror-themed gift, then do check out Scared Soapless.

I ordered some novelty soaps as a funny housewarming present for a friend of mine and her two kids, and they were a real hit.  The kids were thrilled with the “Brainy” soaps and the “Wyvern the Wash” dragon heads, and she loved her “Midnight, the Stars and Shea” soaps.

Scared Soapless offers a ton of fun ideas for creative, offbeat gifts that are also inexpensive. And the craftsmanship behind some of these items is truly impressive. (I have my eye on “The Master” and the “Grimm” soaps for the next time I order.)

And the secret ingredient is … genuine horror.  The company belongs to my friend Wednesday Lee Friday, who writes some pretty terrifying horror novels.  You can’t get much more authentic than that.

 

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Cover of sheet music for “Blue Jeans,” C. H. Trotter, 1920

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“Eric: Portrait of a Serial Spiller”

Dammit.

If you look closely, you can see that I spilled both the coffee and the milk.

[Update: I just sat down and tried to eat cereal with a fork, and now I’m looking for someone to blame.]

 

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“The Moon,” Alfons Mucha, 1902

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“Consider thyself to be dead …”

“Consider thyself to be dead, and to have completed thy life up to the present time; and live according to nature the remainder which is allowed thee.”

— Marcus Aurelius

 

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Marcus Aurelius, fragment of a bronze portrait.

Roman artwork, after 170 CE.

(Whew.)

Woke up with weird *&^%ing dreams.

Then I remembered I’m a weird *&^%ing guy and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Anyway … Kit Harington might be the next Wolverine — that’s what people are saying.

You can tell I’m doing whatever I can to avoid the disconcerting national news headlines, can’t you?

 

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“The Almighty hath not built Here for his envy.”

Here at least
we shall be free; the Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure, and in my choice
to reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.

— John Milton, Paradise Lost

 

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Illustration by Gustave Dore, 1866

“The Village,” Stepan Kolesnikov, 1907

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A short review of “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” (2019)

It’s true what they say about “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” (2019) — its script is almost completely brainless.  It’s got about as much depth as the old “G.I. Joe” cartoon (1983-1986) that played after school when we were kids.

But I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t enjoy this.  And I’m sure you know why — the big-budget, big-MONSTER special effects.  They were spectacular — and sometimes they approached being unexpectedly beautiful.  (It’s hard to explain here, but our eyes are treated to more than skyscraper-tall brawls between “titans.”  We get a light show too — thanks to some confusing, thinly scripted, but nonetheless dazzling energy-based monster powers.  It was really damned good.)

Add to this a generally excellent cast, and you might be able to forgive the screenplay for insulting your intelligence.  I know that most people would name Ken Watanabe as the actor who truly classes up the joint.  And there’s plenty of truth to that, but I myself would name Charles Dance as the movie’s biggest standout.  The man’s craft is goddam Shakespearean, and I think he’s equal of the likes of Patrick Stewart or Ian McKellen.  And I’d like to think that his throwaway line, “Long live the King,” was at least partly a fan-service reference to what I’m guessing is his best known role — Tywin Lannister on HBO’s “Game of Thrones” (2011-2019).

Based on my own enjoyment, I’d rate this movie an 8 out of 10 — with the caveat that I’m a kid at heart when it comes to giant monsters.  If you’re the same way, then “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” might just become a guilty pleasure that you return to more than once.

 

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