Category Archives: Uncategorized

“The universe is change…”

“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”

— Marcus Aurelius

 

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Thanks a bunch, folks!

Thanks to all the people who sent me the very kind (and occasionally quite funny) birthday wishes!!

You guys are a swell group and I luv ya!!!!

 

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Throwback Thursday: “Gamera vs. Guiron” (1969)!

I am still a little surprised at the harsher criticism I’m hearing of this year’s “Godzilla: King of the Monsters.”  (It was indeed brainless, as its detractors point out, but it was still fun enough for me to give it pretty forgiving review.)

Hey … if you think the new movie was goofy, you should see the Godzilla movies that I grew up with.  No, I wasn’t alive in 1969, but these movies ran periodically on television in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s.  I was utterly awed by them when I watched them with my older brother.

But they are cringeworthy to any sane adult.  Take a look at the trailer below (sorry I couldn’t find one in English), and the two clips that follow it.

Okay … this wasn’t technically a “Godzilla” movie because the radioactive (?) lizard is absent.  (It might have actually been set in a different fictional universe.)  This film’s putative good-guy is the eponymous “Gamera,” who is a giant, space-faring turtle with … rockets that can deploy from the rear of his shell … from the leg holes.  And he employs gymnastics to fight his enemies.  (See the second video below.)

There was one part of this movie that scared the heck out of me as a little kid.  You see the two little boys?  They’re abducted by some sexy lady aliens whose nefarious plan is to eat their brains, thus absorbing strategic knowledge of the Earth they wished to conquer.  Seriously, they give the kids drugged donuts and plan to open their skulls, and that scared the $^%# out of me.

Still think the new movie was a mess?

 

Cover to “Life,” April 1952

Publisher — Clair Maxwell.  Pictured is Marilyn Monroe, photographed by Philippe Halsman.

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“Men are like wine …”

“Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”

— Pope John XXIII

 

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Photo credit: Pivari [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D

A few quick words on “Pumpkinhead” (1988)

Until last night, I’d never actually seen 1988’s “Pumpkinhead” — even though I occasionally joked online about its inspired, iconic titular monster.  I was predictably pleased by the movie’s creature effects, but even more disappointed than I thought I’d be by the film’s overall quality.  I’d rate the film a 7 out of 10, based on my own enjoyment of it — but I’m a horror fan who loves monsters and who’s typically forgiving of 80’s cheese.  If you haven’t seen “Pumpkinhead,” I suspect you’ll finds its flaws a little more egregious than I did.

The film’s strengths are its fantastic monster, designed by legendary visual effects master Stan Winston, and its interesting story concept.  It’s easy to see why the sneering, towering golem here inspired a cult fanbase — complete with sequels, videogames and comic books.  (Yes, horror movie pedants, I realize that Pumpkinhead is technically a demon-infused and magically mutilated corpse, and not a golem.  Whatever.)

This is Winston’s first turn as a director, too … and it seems to me that his genius apparently didn’t quite extend to this larger role.  “Pumpkinhead” feels cobbled together, even by 80’s-movie standards, with poor writing, acting and editing throughout.  The presence of Lance Henriksen improves matters somewhat, as does an adolescent Brian Bremer in the role of “Bunt.”.  (Bremer looks to be about 13 or 14 years old, but he easily outshines his adult co-stars.  His surprisingly relaxed performance might be the equal of Henriksen’s.  The latter is usually as good as we expect, but even he actually flubs a line here and there.  He’s a long way from his brilliant turn as the “Bishop” android in the classic “Aliens” two years prior.)

All things considered, I’m not sure I would actually recommend “Pumpkinhead.”

 

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Lateral Buoy 47 of the Jade Shipping Channel, photo by Ein Dahmer, 2015

“Lateral Buoy 47 of the Jade Shipping Channel, with sailing ships Morgenster, Loth Loriën and Thalassa in the background.”

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Photo credit: Ein Dahmer [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D

I know it’s a weird story. IT’S TRUDEAU.

Still no word back yet from Justin Trudeau about my letter last week suggesting that Canada purchase Greenland.  I thought that my proposal was a pretty good one, and I’m proceeding here with complete confidence that the deal will go through and that Trudeau will throw that Greenland beach party to troll Donald Trump.

I’m sure he’ll invite me, too.  That’s why I broke out my beach party Hawaiian shirt, which looks not at all incongruous on me in the picture below.

Hey, if the whole thing doesn’t work out, I can at least finally move forward with my long-planned “Magnum, P.I.” reenactment troupe.  (No, of course I am not sexy or cool enough to be Magnum; I hold no such illusions.  But I’d like to think I approach being a passable Rick.)

So we’ll only need a Thomas Magnum and a T.C. to step up.  (Sorry, Higgins hopefuls, but there is a certain friend of mine from college who was born for that role.)

 

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Cover to Edward Everett Hale’s “The Man Without a Country”

I am unaware of the cover artist, the year, or even the publisher for this edition.  Hale’s novel was originally published in 1863.

 

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The Piker Press features “hens staring upward”

I’m honored today to see my poem “hens staring upward” featured by The Piker Press!

You can find it right here: “hens staring upward”

Thank you, Editor Sand Pilarski, for allowing me to share my voice!