Our great-great-grandparents smoked crack around Christmas time.

It is the only possible explanation for their bizarre greeting cards.  (Just one more post about this, I promise.)

The card below is from the Victorian era.  It features an apparently affluent … turnip man.  Who wishes the reader “a Merry Christmas” with handheld stone tablet shaped like a heart.  (Is it a tombstone?  Why is their a flowering plant growing out of it?)

Now … if I had been this card’s creator, I would have at least added, “I hope all sorts of good things turnip for you in the New Year.”  Because that’s how I roll.



I know that this is childish for me to go on about. (But when has that ever stopped me before?)

The trees in Melania Trump’s new White House Christmas display are BLOOD-red.  They’re like something out of the film adaptations of Clive Barker’s “Hellraiser” books. They look like they’re metal frames layered with webs of human capillaries.

It’s a Pinhead Christmas.

(I’m so sorry you have to put up with such weirdness when you visit this blog.  You people put up with a lot, seriously.  But I watch a lot of horror movies, okay?)

[Update: an alumna of mine just piped in — “It is a pinhead Christmas in more ways than one.”  Well played, Madam.]