I’m watching an inarticulate, obviously unprepared middle school student stumble his way through … an oral report … at a science fair? About … biology?
Kid sounds like there’s something wrong with him.
OH WAIT, IT’S THE PRESIDENT ON FOX NEWS TALKING ABOUT THE PANDEMIC. My bad.
I picture a lot of defense lawyers out there mulling over a “Donald Trump defense” for drug dealers.
If I recommend to you that you inject yourself with an illegal narcotic, can I exonerate myself afterward by claiming that I was only “being sarcastic?”
Anyway, the below meme information, if you haven’t seen it already, was put out by the makers of the makes of Lysol, following the president’s comments.
Soooooo … y’know …
Donald Trump tweeted three times today about the Nobel prize, in a confusing diatribe about news reporters.
Except he is consistently misspelling it as the “Noble Prize” in every tweet. Seriously, go look.
[Update:] Somebody should set up a “Noble Prize” system for Trump’s following.
They’d be superlative awards for the most spelling errors, the most attacks on a free press, the most disinfectants ingested, etc.
They could make the little trophies out of fool’s gold.
I’m honored today to see Winedrunk Sidewalk: Shipwrecked in Trumpland publish five of my Donald Trump limericks! You can find them right here.
Thanks to Editor John Grochalski for allowing me to join the fun once again over at Winedrunk Sidewalk!
1) Take the number of days you’ve quarantined.
2) Add the number of times you’ve washed your hands today.
3) Divide by Covid-19.
4) Multiply by the number of typos you found in Donald Trump’s last tweet.
5) Subtract by the number of times you tried to scratch your nose through your mask today, because you are an IMBECILE.
6) Multiply by Steely Dan’s “Hey 19.”
7) Add 1984.
8) How do I love thee? (Count the ways and then add them.)
9) Divide and conquer.
10) Goto Line 10.
11) Add a hominem.
12) Explain the steps you took, it in the voice of a muppet vampire who LOVES TO COUNT.
13) Integers. Or something.
14) Cube 2: Hypercube.
15) Subtract Matchbox 20.
16) Snap your fingers wearing the Infinity Gauntlet — so that it’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
17) Explain the math of this to Private Rieben. (Show your work.)
18) If your answer is all mixed up by 311, you’ve got to trust your instinct and let go of regret. (You’ve got to bet on yourself now, Star. ‘Cause that’s your best bet. WATCH ME NOW.)
The President of the United States appears to be inciting anti-government violence, via tweet, in the middle of a pandemic.
If you support this man, I am asking you to please stop. He is not a “conservative” or a savior or a man who is being “used by God.”
He is simply a madman.
This goes beyond “conservative” or “liberal.” We — all of us — are better than this.
Girl on Twitter: “Why does Trump insist on saying that we are in a “war”?”
Me: “He thinks it makes him sound tough. (If it were really a war, he would have gotten a deferment due to bone spurs.)”
This meme is making the rounds on Facebook. (As always, I’ll cheerfully credit its creator if he or she steps forward.)
Joel and the Bots might just make these televised farces bearable.
The #Dimericks hashtag has died down a bit on Twitter, but I couldn’t resist just one more limerick at Donald Trump’s expense …
There once was a doltish aggressor
who lied at his pandemic presser.
He figured he’d use
his tried-and-true ruse
of blaming his black predecessor.
Anthony Fauci and Donald Trump together prove that a patient, modest, intelligent man is a better leader than a man filled with aggressive, grandiose, empty bluster.
Especially when dangers present us with a need for information instead of showmanship.
Seeing these guys together is like watching a morality play about the value of being a mature adult.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 