Tag Archives: Eric Nolan Mary Washington College

“It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.” BECAUSE I HAVE A FREE SCIENCE FICTION-HORROR E-BOOK!!!

And you can too.  Dagda Publishing is giving away its dystopian shorty story collection, “All Hail The New Flesh,” to anyone who has a Kindle.  It’s part of the independent publisher’s first anniversary celebration, and its various fiction titles are all downloadable for free until Wednesday.  “All Hail The New Flesh” can be found right here:

For more information on all the other great free titles for Kindle, see Dagda’s website here:

http://dagdapublishing.co.uk/2014/06/02/happy-birthday-us-details-free-kindle-fiction-sale/

“All Hail The New Flesh” includes an entry of my own, entitled “At The End of The World, My Daughter Wept Metal.”  Here’s a synopsis: “An astonishing medical breakthrough spells the end of humanity.  And its first victim is the object of a father’s love.”

Yes, it’s another end-of-the-world tale — you know, the happy-ending bedtime stories that I’m known for. (Read it to your kids!!!) But  this time out, our plot-driving world-killer isn’t super-intelligent wolves or zombies, it’s … well … go read for yourself.  (Hey, it’s not like we’re charging you anything, are we?)

A friend and reader here in new York commented just this morning, “Man, E., it’s always the end of the world with you!  YOU’RE A POST-APOCALYPTIC MOTHERF****R.”

I … love that. I might just take those last two words and rename this website.

Have fun with the book — maybe if you can get sufficiently absorbed in it, you can succeed in getting that R.E.M. song out of your head.

“THAT’S GREAT — IT STARTS WITH EARTHQUAKES, BIRDS, SNAKES AND AEROPLANES!  LENNY BRUCE IS NOT AFRAID!”

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A song dedication to the Mary Washington College Class of 1994.

It’s nearing the end of the 20 Year Reunion, and they are partying in Fredericksburg, Virginia, right now, without me!  The Great Nate Wade just posted that he is at Merriman’s!!  Not only am I getting old, I am failing to keep pace with my contemporaries.

This is the Stone Temple Pilots’ “Plush.”  It was extremely popular 20 years ago, when I was cool enough to keep up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kindle users — get your FREE copy of “The Dogs Don’t Bark In Brooklyn Any More!”

That’s right — for free.  Over the next several days, right here: http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-Dont-Bark-Brooklyn-More-ebook/dp/B00GR4FUU8

As part if its first birthday celebration, Dagda Publishing is offering its fiction titles for free for the next several days!  From Dagda Publishing:

“Happy birthday to us! We made ourselves a cake (disclaimer: the cake is a lie). As a little celebration, and giving something back to everyone that has supported us in our endeavours over the last year, we have decided to offer our fiction titles for free for the next few days on Kindle. So, follow the links below to pick up some fantastic new fiction for your virtual bookshelf. Have a glorious weekend, everyone!

http://www.amazon.com/Touch-The-Sun-Laura-Enright-ebook/dp/B00IMSSFDG

http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-Dont-Bark-Brooklyn-More-ebook/dp/B00GR4FUU8

http://www.amazon.com/All-Hail-Flesh-Various-Authors-ebook/dp/B00I12PZH2

www.amazon.com/Tuned-Dead-Channel-R-Davey-ebook/dp/B00FARIMP8

“And, if you have enjoyed our books, please leave a review on Amazon – it all helps future sales and getting these authors the recognition they deserve. Bye for now!  🙂 “

Here is Dagda’s summary for my novel:

“There was a time, Rebecca’s father had told her, when wolves could not speak. She wished for that time.”

Rebecca O’Conner is the daughter of a hero, a veteran soldier of The Wolf War. Now, she herself is a Captain in the Special Animal Warfare Service (SAWS), fighting,as her father did against the armies of super-intelligent wolves that have taken over most of the continental United States.

The Dogs Don’t Bark In Brooklyn Any More spans two periods of Rebecca’s life: the tumultuous Brooklyn childhood that shapes her future, preparing her for the soldier she must become, and her struggle to keep herself and her squad alive as she prepares to meet her destiny. Her empirical mind rebels against the chaotic dreams that haunt her, suggesting a greater path than she can yet comprehend as she seeks to find an end to the war.

The enemy is smart, strong and fearless; the odds are stacked against the human race. Is there hope for us in the war with the wolves? Will humanity prevail and reclaim its place as the dominant species on Earth? Or will the great demonic wolf that stalks Rebecca in her dreams close its jaws over the world and drive us to extinction?

Themes of loyalty and friendship run strongly throughout a compelling tale of hardship and struggle in a war unlike any other. However, even in a world where the enemy is of another species, The Dogs Don’t Bark In Brooklyn Any More shows how resentment, distrust, and man’s inhumanity to man can persist at a time when putting our differences aside is crucial to the survival of mankind. Above all, the men and women of SAWS and the US Army strive to demonstrate the indomitable spirit of humanity, and re-establish our place at the top of the food chain.

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SHE CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGR?

Doing a book swap with Amanda, a writer friend in Connecticut — I almost stuck a couple of McDoubles in the box for the three-day First Class Mail journey.

She is my “homeopathic pal,” who is constantly exhorting me to eat better, and keeps getting me to put strange things into my body.  [NOTE TO ALL REPUBLICANS READING THIS:  I said “homeoPATHIC,” and the “strange things into my body” I’m referring to are …  like … distilled essence of reindeer horn and powdered Romanian wildflower and stuff.  So relax; she isn’t assailing your Institution of Marriage.  Also, tell Sarah Palin I said that she’s just cute as a button.]

Anyway … the cheeseburger gag — should I do it?  The Post Office Lady Who is Always Annoyed With Me regularly asks me those Homeland Security-esque questions whenever I mail a package … is anything flammable?  Is anything made of hazardous materials?  It’s sometimes fun, because it makes me feel like “The Jackal” (the Bruce Willis version) on his way to do battle with the incongruously charming Irish Republican Army member Richard Gere.  (Man, did that movie ever send mixed messages about terrorism.)

But is it legal to send burgers through the mail as a gag?  The Post Office Lady never specifies “cheeseburgers” in her queries. And don’t go making the obvious joke that food from MacDonald’s is always “hazardous materials” because I hear enough of that from my friends, and I LOVE MCDOUBLES.  (“Diagnosis? Delicious.”)

I hope it’s cool, because I really need a truly diabolical plan to impress upon Amanda that I do, in fact, have a sense of humor.  The other night, she told me that “my darkness can get in the way of me being a truly free spirit,” which is so goddam abstract that I’m not sure what to make of it.  I … don’t THINK it was an insult, and it’s possible that she was just all toked up again after smoking powdered reindeer horn or something.

If you are reading this blog entry, Amanda, here’s a poem excerpt just for you:

“Altogether elsewhere, vast

Herds of reindeer move across

Miles and miles of golden moss,

Silently and very fast.”

Those are the closing lines of W.H. Auden’s “The Fall of Rome.”  Rattle of that one at your next Earth Day celebration.  Now put the pipe down, Honey.

I feel certain my mother will e-mail me with spelling corrections for this blog entry’s headline, because, despite my best efforts, she still misunderstands the concept of LOLcats:

Me: They’re kittens.

Mom: It’s spelled wrong.

Me:  That’s the joke … the kittens can’t spell.

Mom:  But the kittens can use a computer?

Seriously, for someone who grew up before the Internet, the concept of LOLcats is hard to explain.  Schrodinger’s cat would probably easier.

So e-mail me your advice on the cheeseburger gag after you devote some serious thought to it.  In the meantime, tremble before these two portraits of diabolical plan formation.  Dear Lord … WE EVEN LOOK ALIKE.

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“Turning 41,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Turning Forty One

Forty one found me
In midday reminiscence –
Not at the bars in Fredericksburg
Where 21 arrived like a proud, aggressive fleet,
Setting sail against
Easily conquered oceans.
Accurate charts assured my hands,
My future lay
In neatly mapped seas,
Measured leagues in quadrants,
Latitudes, longitudes.
Distant shores seemed
Vulnerable to my every effort.
The water that night
Was a kind of golden bronze,
The cheap, sweet beer
Of the college junior.

Forty one arrives
Where compasses didn’t predict.
Octants are confounded and
Sextants equivocate.
All the almanacs agree
Only that we are at sea.

© Eric Robert Nolan 2013 

 
  —  originally printed in Dead Snakes, September 2, 2013 

Eat your Wheaties!!!

Just a quick reminder that my supernatural horror story, “The Song of the Wheat,” appears this month in “Under The Bed,” which can be purchased here for just $3.99:

http://www.fictionmagazines.com/shop/u-t-b/under-the-bed-vol-02-no-08/

Here’s a summary:  “Under a limitless black firmament of summer night, an isolated Kansas farm holds secrets for two young children.  Because when there are stories to tell and strange new friends to discover, little boys and girls need never be lonely.”

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Vegas vacation, Chinese tryrant.

Weird $+I+ that only my writer friends say to me: “We’ll put an effigy of Mao Tse Tung in the back of the Cadillac.”

[This is about a planned vacation to Vegas.  Dennis, Bro, you’re my Wingman, but every once in a while, I find myself out of my depth with you.]

“Amanda II, A Haiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Irises arrive

by mail — Amanda

thanks me for her poem.

 

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“Together, Spying Cardinals in the Snow,” by Eric Robert Nolan

“Together, Spying Cardinals in the Snow,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Together, spying cardinals in the snow,

you ask me
if it’s crimson sorcery,
the manner in which
their alate frames
make furtive flames
flashing,
mid-air,
momentary roses, racing
fleeting ‘V’s, speeding
eye-height,
at morning light,
manic scarlet letters?

And I here I was
ever the ready pedant,
already snatching at Latin,
finding families from memory,
reaching for genuses, species.

“Cardinalis Cardinalis,”
I dryly recite
In tones as cold as the snow,
Amanda, Dear, you know
how nomenclature comforts me,
how I like to confine
images to categories,
visions into ordered words,
feelings to their well-deserved
lexical cells. Fearing them,
I make locks from similes,
manacles from metaphors,
prisons out of assonance.
Ever-present measured meter
Is a vigilant warden.

Emotions, so sentenced,
are convicts at the stocks.
Publication makes
a neurotic victory —
“See here,” I tell all,
the writer as proud jailor,
“What I’ve confined to page.”
I pen deadbolts.
Chapters incarcerate.
Life is a locked book.

Nocturnally, they creep,
lithe, limber felons —
catlike colors through the bars
thinning red escapees to commit
Misdemeanor spectrums in my dreams.

“You have a word for everything,”
the flash of your half-smile —
that angular dip in your red lips
is like a scarlet cardinal
leaning in its flight.

“So, tell me,” you repeat,
your half-joking query,
“Is it a kind of sorcery?
“Has magic made
“cardinals be our company?
“Are their quickened roses
“made by magic from enchanted trees?”

Magic —
an older language than Latin
instructs your erudite eye,
rich in the texts
of childhood’s apocrypha:
all those lost books and invisible pages,
the tomes from which we evoked
sorcery as happy boys and girls.
As authoritative
as any Church Cardinal,
we fashioned faerie,
invented their enchantments,
and then made heroes for their aid,
at the age of eight.
You’ve never forgotten.
I have.

You painted for me once
on a trip Out East,
drawing, as you’re wont to do,
from magic. Your blue hues
made a nascent moon.
Yellows yielded stars.
Errant reds raced
down your shirt in their escape
making a hasty cursive —
angled scarlet letters —
the ‘V’s” of diving birds, perhaps
or maybe “L’s for Love.
When all of your
various roses elope, you only
let them go.
You easily release the reds:
they’re only innocent dissidents.
You are an open book
and pages of flaming magenta.

We are
Together, spying cardinals in the snow.
My Love, you are my better, though.
Where dry science constrains
and skepticism cages,
You’re adept with red
spectrums. All your spells
color the cold air
and liberate the day —
with skyward scarlets,
furtive quickened roses,
manic magentas,
crimson sorcery.

(c) Eric Robert Nolan, 2014

Originally printed in Dead Snakes, 2/14/14: http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2014/02/eric-robert-nolan-poem.html

 

Publication Notice — Illumen Magazine

Illumen Magazine has once again featured my poetry; a section of my “Three Dreamers” series can be found in the the Spring 2014 Issue.

I would like to thank Editor Terrie Leigh Relf for allowing me once again to contribute to this beautiful biannual print magazine.  It is a pleasure to be on board.

For information about Illumen, and Alban Lake Publishing’s other wonderful fantasy and science fiction titles, please see Alban Lake’s website here: http://albanlake.com/# .

 

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