Tag Archives: The Human Centipede 3

I will not be reviewing “The Human Centipede 3” here …

… because I will not watch the movie.  I watched the entire original, and even reviewed it.  (If you guys are ever interested, look up Roger Ebert’s review of the first movie.  It’s a treatise on tactful, oblique language.)  Then I watched maybe the first 20 minutes of “The Human Centipede 2.”  Frankly, that is just about enough human-centipedey-ness for one lifetime.

I keep mistakenly calling them “The Human Caterpillar” movies … I think that might be some form of Freudian repression.

This film is just so … gross that it’s beneath even me and the reprobates that will occasionally populate my peer group.  I can’t link here to the film’s trailer, or even post a movie poster, because they are just too explicit and repulsive.

Why not focus instead on the Camden family, of The WB’s heartwarming Christian dramedy, “7th Heaven?”  They are far more pleasant, and I’m pretty sure that they inhabit a universe where films like “The Human Centipede 3” do not exist.

Oh you quirky Camdens, with your disarming foibles and well-intentioned hi-jinks!!  YOU’VE CHARMED EVEN THIS SECULAR CURMUDGEON, HAVEN’T YOU???

7th-Heaven-Cast-Reunion