Hey, I just found out that the nice folks over at Haikuniverse published a haiku that I submitted a while back:
http://www.haikuniverse.com/haiku-by-eric-robert-nolan-2/
Thanks, Haikuniverse!
Monthly Archives: December 2016
Christmas lights, Roanoke Valley, 2016
These photos are terrible, as they were taken by a cell phone from a moving car. I still can’t resist sharing them, though — Southerners’ enthusiasm for Christmas is truly impressive.
And there are a bunch of houses like these!
Can you make out the light-up Big Bird in the first photo?
A short review of “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” (2016)
“Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” is every bit as good as you’ve heard; even this non-“Star Wars” geek had great fun with it. I’d cheerfully give it a 9 out of 10, and I’d recommend you give it a try even if you don’t typically enjoy the franchise.
Die-hard fans are currently noting all of the things that make this film unique in the series: it’s the first “Star Wars” movie without a Jedi, the first without the trademark opening text-crawl, the first one without a lightsaber duel.
Casual fans might be more impressed with more general differences. Two stood out for me.
One, this is the first Star Wars film since “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980) that seems aimed mainly at adults. Yes, the fairy tale elements are still there — we have an underdog orphan searching for her father, the requisite anthropomorphic aliens, and a humorous robot mascot (which surprisingly worked quite well). But those elements are absolutely upstaged by a bona fide war film, complete with tactics, strategy, panic, collateral damage and casualties. I remember thinking during a surprisingly gritty urban warfare scene that it was as though some filmmakers had taken a scene from a film like “The Hurt Locker” (2008) and set it within the “Star Wars” universe.
Two, I think that this is the most human Star Wars movie we’ve had since “Empire.” It wouldn’t be “Star Wars” without the aforementioned aliens and robots, and plenty of references are made to the Force and the Jedi. But this is a movie about ordinary people. Yes, there is one larger-than-life character who appears … force-sensitive? This universe’s equivalent of Marvel’s “Daredevil?” (This was a confusing story element that didn’t always work for me.) But we are presented primarily with all-too-human anti-heroes who feel fear, suffer, and die.
Isn’t that more exciting than watching cartoonish aliens fight armies of equally cute battle-droids? In this film’s better moments, it made me feel like a was watching a “real” war with “real” people, and I was surprised to find myself actually rooting for the good guys in a “Star Wars” film — this has been a series that I’ve long half-dismissed as being essentially children’s stories.
Seriously, this was a good movie. Check it out.
A very short review of “Blair Witch” (2016)
I fully understand the reasonable popular criticisms of “Blair Witch” (2016). But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t really enjoy it — I’d give it an 8 out of 10.
Yes, it’s largely a retread of the first film in 1999. This putative sequel is effectively a remake, given how closely it parallels the original. (And there are a lot of people who hated that movie to start with.)
There are other problems too. A subplot’s non sequitur segue into body horror is entirely out of place, for example, and we have at least two characters who are so irritating that we can’t care much about their fate. And then there are some missed opportunities involving technology. (Much attention is paid to a drone that the ill-fated protagonists bring along in their trek into the woods, but it is underused later in the story.)
Still … this still worked for me. I have always really liked found-footage horror movies, and I also like stories featuring local legends. (They’re just more engaging to me than yet another slasher film or third-rate, no-budget zombie movie.) And there are a couple of moments of brilliance. The scariest has already been spoiled by the film’s trailer (seriously, f*** you, Lionsgate marketing department). But there are other nice touches … one is the dread-inducing, reality-bending story arc of the two locals who accompany the main protagonists. (And weren’t these two supporting characters the most fun and interesting, anyway?)
And we indeed finally get glimpses of the titular Blair Witch! They are brief and few, but they’re a damned effective, scary payoff.
All in all, this is still an offbeat horror outing in the same vein as the original, and I think the better parts made it a decent viewing.
I always wanted to be a wrap star.
I fear the geeks, even when they bring gifts.
She’ll never guess what this is …
Another miscalculation! I learned geometry from Common Core math.
Catch up with “The Bees Are Dead.”
Be sure to stop over at The Bees Are Dead for some haunting and engaging dystopian poetry.
These include Alan Britt’s “Head First,” Malek Saleh Aweed’s “Agony’s Anthem,” and my own favorite among B.A.D.’s recently published poems, Strider Marcus Jones’ “The Mad Hatter Hiding in Dark Matter.”
Enjoy!
Photo credit: By The original uploader was Kretz.biz at French Wikipedia – Transferred from fr.wikipedia to Commons by Bloody-libu using CommonsHelper., Attribution, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=16075981
Diego Velaquez’ “Venus at Her Mirror,” circa 1646
Oil on canvas.
There should be a new drink called “The Donald Trump Presidency.”
There should be a new drink called “The Donald Trump Presidency.” Any cheap Russian vodka will do, but the secret ingredient is that it needs to be bought illegally over the Internet.
Pour it in a “yuge” glass, stir it up like misguided populism, and insist that it’s “GREAT,” even if tastes like piss. Then drink it until you’re a racist braggart and an imbecile who can’t form coherent sentences — or at least until you make sexually suggestive remarks about your own daughter.
It might taste like a bitter pill to a majority of Americans, but certain Republicans will cheerfully swallow it down like a fake news story. The only danger is to Republican partygoers is that they might grow so belligerent that they fight amongst themselves, dividing their party.
Photo credit: By © Achim Raschka / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=26371496
Sammy T’s in Fredericksburg is reopening!!
See Lindley Estes’ article yesterday in The Free Lance-Star!!
My alums and I have our road trip planned! Have you?
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 