I am a man who is loathe to tamper with a classic.  And every slice of pizza from Benny Marconi’s in Roanoke, Virginia is a damned artwork.

Still … they did not offer octopus as a topping.  (I searched their website pretty thoroughly.)  And then I realized that I had NEVER seen the most sublime of foods offered as a pizza topping.

Innovation built this country, and I have a flair for the culinary.  So I went home and concocted the brilliance you see below.

Update — Damn.  I just realized I wrote this whole post ignoring the potential for an “octupie” pun.