Which one of you bastards swapped out my chicken noodle soup with this “cream of chicken” monstrosity?  Because this stuff is a Lovecraftian horror whose secret ingredient is human suffering.

Seriously, this is what chicken would taste like if a diabolical AI had prepared it using only a rusty, radioactive blender and incomplete recipes gleaned from the ruins of a Cold War gulag — and if the chickens themselves had cholera.

Alright, alright — it maybe isn’t THAT bad, but I was jonesing for some real SOUP, and not this puzzling, paste-based concoction.

And of course the fault is mine.  (It always is.)  I grabbed the wrong package off the shelf at Kroger when I got excited over the sale price.  A lot of Campbell’s Soups look alike.