All posts by Eric Robert Nolan

Eric Robert Nolan graduated from Mary Washington College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. He spent several years a news reporter and editorial writer for the Culpeper Star Exponent in Culpeper, Virginia. His work has also appeared on the front pages of numerous newspapers in Virginia, including The Free Lance – Star and The Daily Progress. Eric entered the field of philanthropy in 1996, as a grant writer for nonprofit healthcare organizations. Eric’s poetry has been featured by Dead Beats Literary Blog, Dagda Publishing, The International War Veterans’ Poetry Archive, and elsewhere. His poetry will also be published by Illumen Magazine in its Spring 2014 issue.

A few quick words about “The Last Exorcism Part 2” (2013)

“The Last Exorcism Part 2” wasn’t quite as bad as everyone else said it was – I’d give it a 7 out of 10.  Ashley Bell is a terrific actress, and many scenes were nice and creepy.  I like stuff that’s a little more creative and interesting than standard slasher fare.

A few flaws stand out.  The scene where she hovers above the bed is obviously wirework if we can see the actress swinging back and forth.   It also boggles the mind that we see zero evidence of police involvement throughout the movie.  This was still fun, though.

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“There In The Bags,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Happy Halloween, everybody!!  Here’s a little something for your trick-or-treat bag — a little horror flash fiction entitled “There In The Bags.”

This was one of my entries into Microfiction Monday Magazine’s 100-Word Horror Story Challenge.  It was rejected by the publisher, while two other of my submissions were selected.  I still have a soft spot in my heart for this one, though, because it’s just a brainless little gory ghost story.

Enjoy.  🙂

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“There in the Bags.”

Us little people dump the bags in the hospital basement – not them six-figure docs.

The trick is not thinkin’ about what’s in ‘em.  It’s tough.  I mean … they’re bright red, and the big black letters say “MEDICAL WASTE.”

My co-worker Barry’s a jerk.  Keeps laughing and reminding me what’s in there – placentas, blood, gangrened burn tissue … maybe even a severed arm.  Barry jokes that maybe a departed soul from a dead man will get lost and wind up there in the bags.  Try to come back.

I want Barry here, now.  God, I do.

One bag just moved.

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What on earth was my COSTUME supposed to be?!

Burn victim?  Zombie?  Guy at the zoo at whom the monkeys accurately threw their feces?!

Anyway, this is me, circa … 1989 or so, at a Halloween party at Carrie Schor’s house (then Carrie Harbach) in Lake Panamoka, New York.  Carrie always did throw the funnest parties at her house.

I lament this picture a bit because, as a child, I had a veritable FLAIR for Halloween costumes — you should have seen my incredible homemade Ghostbusters costume in 1985.  It was the toast of Lake Panamoka.

But the makeup job depicted above just speaks of minimal effort.

The young lady pictured is Julianne Whitehead, another Longwood High School Alum, a great old friend, and one of the coolest girls I have ever been privileged to know.

Thanks for the photo, Carrie!!

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A real life “Hunt for Red October?”

Keep kicking ass, Sweden.

It would be great if someone with expertise in international relations could explain to me at exactly what point in time Russia went INSANE.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/21/world/europe/sweden-russia-submarine-mystery/%3Fhpt=hp_t4?cid=ob_articlesidebarall&iref=obnetwork

A quick (and blasphemous) review of “Halloween II” (1981)

You see this poster for “Halloween II” (1981)?  This is more entertaining than the actual movie.  Haddonfield, IL is a pretty boring town, and the introduction of a serial killer doesn’t much change that.

My fellow horror fans might stone me for that kind of blasphemy.  But one of my deep, dark secrets is that I’m often underwhelmed by classic horror films.  This film picks up at the same moment of the same night as the original “Halloween” (1978) – which was itself, upon revisiting, thinly plotted and quite slow.  Why not make them the same movie?

I’d give this film a 2 out of 10 for a creepy premise and one scary sequence involving a hot tub.  I think that’s probably generous.

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James Earl Jones reads “The Raven”

No Halloween would be complete without James Earl Jones reading Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven.”

That would be like Christmas without the tree, wouldn’t it?

Click here:

Clever Halloween decorations …

… from a house in my neighborhood.  Each tombstone has a fresh plot of dirt beside it.  😀

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My review of “Grave Encounters” (2011)

Damn it, “Grave Encounters” (2011) was very good horror movie for its first half.  Sure, it was unoriginal, borrowing heavily from everything from “Paranormal Activity” to “[REC].”  But it was still good – I’m the kind of guy that says that horror movies actually DON’T have to reinvent the wheel to scare us.

It had a decent setup and a great location – I don’t know what that old building was, but it was perfect.  And for a while, it was a great “haunted house” story.  I especially liked the first big scare, even if it’s something we’ve seen before, as well as the part where a chained door, once penetrated, shows us something unexpected.  I was genuinely spooked.

Then it just disintegrated towards the end.  The “scares” were so cartoonish and over the top that any suspension of disbelief was lost.  This seemed more like an especially ambitious “haunted house” Halloween attraction, and less like a professionally made film.

I can only give this a 5 out of 10 after it fell apart the way it did.  Oh, well.  You’ve got to give the filmmakers an “E” for effort.

Question – does Hollywood hate documentary filmmakers?  It seems every time I see a movie like this – like “The Blair Witch Project,” or “Diary of the Dead,” – the person in charge is a cheesy, melodramatic, self-absorbed quasi-intellectual who puts everyone else at risk.  Why is that?

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“Those who set in motion the forces of evil cannot always control them afterward.”

—  Charles Waddell Chesnutt, “The Marrow of Tradition”

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My review of “Gardens of the Night” (2008)

“Gardens of the Night” (2008) is a generally well made film, but it’s damned hard to review.   We can’t … enjoy the movie, because it isn’t meant to entertain.  It’s a detailed docudrama that shows the abduction and forced prostitution of an eight-year-old girl, then the permanent destruction of her life in her teen years.

It’s gut-wrenching.  The first half of the movie plays almost like a twisted procedural in which a child pornographer and slaver (brilliantly and unexpectedly portrayed by Tom Arnold) tricks and kidnaps young Leslie (Ryan Simpkins).

We’re shown the nuts and bolts of everything – starting with how Arnold’s character earns her trust (“Can you help me find my dog?”, “I’m a friend of your father’s.”)  And Arnold is so convincing in the role, it’s easy to see how lines like this can fool a child.  We see how she’s drugged, imprisoned, and persuaded that her parents don’t want her anymore, then how she’s coaxed and reassured into prostitution to pedophiles.  There were a few times when I wanted to shout at the screen – such as when Arnold’s character actually coaches the prepubescent girl about what customers expect.  Then we’re even shown how children are marketed and sold – with catalogs and photos and polite, secret business meetings.  Jeremy Sisto and Harold Perrineau show up in effective supporting roles that will turn your stomach.

Then – midway through the film, we fast-forward to Leslie’s life as a teenager, where she is now somehow free of Arnold and his even more evil partner (well played by Kevin Zegers, who I remember best as the sweetnatured, clean-cut kid in Zack Snyder’s 2004 “Dawn of the Dead” remake).

Again – it’s hard to know whether to recommend this movie.  To call it sad would be an understatement.  It IS a pretty well made film – the acting is great all around, and especially from Arnold.  And Imdb.com says that that writer/director Damian Harris developed it after years of research among child victims.

It has some problems, though.  For a drama about a victim, its central character just isn’t well rendered or extremely likable.  It’s awkwardly structured.  Unless I’m mistaken, we never find out how Leslie escapes her captors.

The movie is also poorly paced, I think … it drags a bit around the middle and the anticlimactic ending feels like a postscript.  Finally, it seems to make little use of John Malkovich’s genius in a supporting role.  (That guy is goddam mesmerizing – like Anthony Hopkins, he could read names out of a telephone book and make it interesting.)

Quite honestly, if this movie is as accurate as it claims (and there’s no reason to think it wouldn’t be), it would make a great educational tool.  No child should watch it, but it’s so explicit and procedural in nature that it seems like a great resource for training police officers or parents.

If you watch this, I strongly recommend watching “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey” or “Old School” afterward – y’know … just so you don’t kill yourself.

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