Category Archives: Uncategorized

Yes, “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. Now get over it and go watch “A Midnight Clear.”

The perennial half-joking debate about whether “Die Hard” (1988) is a Christmas movie will be with us for a long time, I guess.  Yes, it is a Christmas movie — not only does it take place on Christmas Eve, the holiday helps set up the plot.  (Our protagonists are at the besieged Nakatomi Tower for a Christmas party.)  It just happens to be an ironic Christmas movie, that’s all.

And if we’re on the subject of ironic Christmas movies, I have to recommend “A Midnight Clear” (1992).  It’s one of those films that doesn’t deserve its obscurity.  It’s absolutely exceptional and poetic, which makes it maddening to me that a lot of people haven’t even heard of it.

I won’t describe it at length, because it’s one of those movies where “the less you know, the more you’ll enjoy it.”  (Even its central plot development is meant to be unexpected.)  I’ve never seen the trailer for this, but I can only imagine that it fails to avoid at least some spoilers.

Suffice to say that “A Midnight Clear” is a truly great film — one I would rate a perfect 10.  It’s perfect.  It just might make you look at war differently.

It’s a collection of contradictions, too.  It’s a war movie with an (arguably) pacifist message, and a “Christmas movie” that is absolutely mournful.  (I am not actually suggesting that anyone watch it to feel festive.)  It’s also a World War II movie made in the 90’s, but it feels as though it’s channeling the sadness and existential loss of the post-Vietnam 1970’s.

Again, if you choose to watch it, learn as little as possible about it beforehand.  And be aware that it’s probably sadder than you think.  Let me know what you think about it, too.  I’m curious about how other people feel about it.

 

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Well. THIS one hits close to home.

I’m talking about both the poet thing AND my longstanding fear of veiled bears.

(Illustration by Edward Gorey.)

 

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A very short review of “Rebecca” (1940)

Scratch one thing off the bucket list — I finally got around to watching Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rebecca.”  (A cinephilic uncle introduced me to a handful of the director’s better known classics when I was an adolescent — “Rebecca” was one that we never got around to.)  Based on my own enjoyment of it, I’d rate this film an 8 out of 10.

Please bear in mind that this is one of the slower Hitchcock films.  Until its plot accelerates toward its end, it spends much of its running length as a methodically paced, brooding Gothic romance and mystery.  It’s also a psychological thriller, and you can tell that Hitchcock is working to translate onto the screen its character-focused source novel.  (I haven’t read Daphne du Maurier’s eponymous 1938 book.)

“Rebecca’s” final act brings the viewer into familiar Hitchcock territory with some interesting surprises.  What I liked best about seeing the director’s style, however, was his trademark sharp characters and dialogue — with both heroes and villains sparring in a dry-witted and rapid-fire fashion.  It’s something you don’t often see today.   I don’t think all old movies are like this — some of the “classics” I’ve been recommended are absolutely vapid.  But Hitchcock treated his viewer as intelligent adults, and I think it’s part of the reason why people love him.

 

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Cover to “Aliens: Hive” #1, Kelley Jones, 1992

Dark Horse Comics.

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Oh, Roanoke. *loose/lose

Yes, I do realize that only an approval-seeking pedant will broadcast the fact that he found an error in a newspaper headline.  At least I’ve got that self-awareness thing going for me.  And I make plenty of my own mistakes right here on this blog.  Somebody called me on the unforgivable *your/you’re confusion just last week.

Hey, I spent a couple of years on the other side of the desk where this kind of nitpicking is concerned.  When I was a reporter, there were people who positively loved to call us when they spotted a mistake.

If you’re ever inclined to do that yourself, then please bear two things in mind:

  1. You are almost never the first one to alert the paper’s staff that an error has slipped past them.  It’s usually spotted by someone either in the newsroom or in the advertising department, before anybody calls it in; and
  2. Mistakes in headlines are rarely made by the reporter who wrote the story.  They can usually be attributed to someone at the editorial level, who prepared the layout.  (The editors read the stories’ content, and then draft an appropriate headline according to the amount of space allowed by the layout.)

 

 

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Throwback Thursday: the Indiana Jones “Find Your Fate Adventure” books!

Here’s another happy Christmas memory — the Find Your Fate Adventure  books featuring Indiana Jones.  I was happy indeed when Santa brought these.  They were first published by Ballantine Books in 1984 and 1985, and they were basically Choose Your Own Adventure books in which you teamed up with Indy in the same type of archeological adventure you saw in the movies or in his comic book series.

Like most series of this type, they were penned by different authors and tended to vary in quality.  The second book, “Indiana Jones and the Lost Treasure of Sheba,” was authored by Rose Estes, who wrote some terrific title in the Endless Quest series, TSR’s own excellent take on the format in the Dungeons & Dragons genre.  There also were several written by R.L. Stine, they were reprinted in the 90’s following his popularity with his Goosebumps series.

I had the first four that you see below.  I seem to remember one being kinda bad, but I’m not sure I remember which.  It might have been Andrew Helfer’s “Indiana Jones and the Cup of the Vampire.”  (It was whichever book portrayed the reader as Indiana Jones’ cousin, who he repeatedly addressed as “Cuz.”)  The other books were damned great fun, though.  I do remember Estes’ “Lost Treasure of Sheba” being quite good.

I never owned the fifth book you see below, and never read it.  I can’t resist including it here, though, simply because of its title — “Indiana Jones and the Ape Slaves of Howling Island.”  If that isn’t the most interesting title in the history of western literature, I don’t know what is.  I’m 45 years old, and I would snap that up right off the bookstore shelf if I saw it.  Somebody should have gotten a raise for that one.

 

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Cover to “Aliens: Hive” #4, Kelley Jones, 1992

Dark Horse Comics.  This series has apparently since been retitled “Alien: Harvest.”

 

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To those rebutting my “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” review:

(Specifically my complaint that the near-godlike “Force” powers employed are neither supported by the script nor precedented in the prior films.)

The Force is the Force, of course of of course,
And no one can limit the Force, of course,
Unless, of course, they use the Force
As a shameless deus ex machina!!!

[sung to the tune of “Mister Ed”]

 

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“How do we abolish the Electoral College?” (Robert Reich)

Interesting.

“Landscape Near Schilde,” Jean Pierre François Lamorinière, 1871

Oil on panel.

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