“Beware the fury of a patient man?”

I’m pretty sure that’s John Dryden, and not a Chinese aphorism.  I learned it years ago when Tom Clancy quoted Dryden at the beginning of one of his novels.  (I can’t remember which — but I think it was one of his revenge-minded tales like “Without Remorse” or “Debt of Honor.”)  Strangely enough, Goodreads has the quote falsely attributed to Clancy himself.

But it works.  Well done, Fortune Cookie People.

The other one I got advised me, “Do not build your happiness on others’ sorrow.”  That sounds like good advice to me — and it’s a bit more high-minded than Dryden’s warning.

 

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“Moonlit Night. Winter.” Konstantin Korovin, 1913

Oil on canvas.

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So long, Grendel Pumpkin.

Grendel mortis?

Oh, well — it was fun while it lasted.  I bought this guy in mid-October, and here we are a day after Easter when I finally had to put him outside.  I’m no pumpkin expert, but five and a half months feels like a long time.

 

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Depiction of Death (?) in Bibliothèque Mazarine, 15th Century

Paris.

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I hope you enjoyed a very happy April Fool’s Easter!

My joint holiday got off to a middling start … only a few people seemed to be fooled by my faux news about “The Walking Dead” feature film.  I was disappointed because I worked hard on that one.  Director “April Farady?”  That clue was maybe a bit too obvious.  And the other films I cited (“A Display Floor,” “Apiary of Dolls”) were entitled with anagrams for “April Fool’s Day.”  (Although “Apiary of Dolls” actually does sound like it could be a kickass horror tale.)

My hot-air-balloons-over-Roanoke gag fared slightly better, but not much.

Then I struck GOLD with the old coyotes-in-the-backyard trick!  I had my housemates jumping up and hollering.

Last, but not least, was my family-of-squirrels-are-nesting-in-my-closet ruse.  That fooled more than a few people — even my best friend, who is actually a brilliant lady, despite being incongruously quite credulous.  The added wrinkle about accidentally giving them caffeinated espresso trail mix gave it a nice sense of urgency.

I hope you all had a fun day and a lovely Easter.

 

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Cover to “Batman: the Long Halloween” #7, Tim Sale, 1997

DC Comics.

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Why are people so upset about the announced “Walking Dead” movie?!

I can’t say I understand at all why horror fans are reacting so unfavorably to the news this morning about the planned 2019 “Walking Dead” feature film. We don’t know whether it will be good or not. (It has hardly begun pre-production.) And it could turn out to be great — why not hope for the best? Are longtime fans so alienated by the show’s decline in quality over the past several years that they won’t give the announced movie a chance?

I want to believe that none of the backlash stems from 20th Century Fox placing a female director at the helm. April Faraday is relatively unknown to mainstream filmgoers, but she’s known on the indie scene for darker dramas like “Hoodwink” (2015) “A Display Floor” (2010) and “Chicane” (2011). No, she hasn’t done straight-up horror, or much in the way of action. But “The Walking Dead” has always been an atypical horror-drama that is frequently character- and dialogue-driven. I would rather see a respected indie director in charge than a guy like Joel Schumacher. (And I’m glad the studio passed over Baz Luhrmann — his style just isn’t right for “The Walking Dead.”)

There seems to be a lot of negative buzz too about the movie’s casting. I agree that it is troubling to discover that Andrew Lincoln is currently not listed in the cast. (Does this mean that Rick will die on the show? Would AMC allow such an obvious spoiler connected with the program, or is this just a case of intentional misdirection?)

I myself am thrilled that Peter Dinklage and Caroline Dhavernas will appear in the movie. I am guessing that Dinklage’s role will be a small one. (No pun intended, I swear.) I just know that his next regular television role will be his lead in “Apiary of Dolls,” which will be filming its first season in the United Kingdom throughout this year. And “The Walking Dead” movie will supposedly begin filming in June in Fairfax County, Virginia. Dinklage can’t spend a lot of time on two different continents. (Dhavernas’ next film, “Solo Friday Pal,” is a romantic comedy that is slated for a 2019 release. But I’m told that it has already completed filming.)

Let’s give this movie a chance, people.

[Update: as most of you have doubtlessly surmised, this is indeed an April Fool’s Day joke.  I hope that you all had a fun day and a truly joyous Easter.  🙂  ]

 

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Hey, HEY, hey!

One of my friends asked me last night who I would look like if I was black. (The friend who asked is black.)

I told him I was pretty sure I’d be Rog from “What’s Happening.”

He laughed his ass off.  Everyone laughed their asses off.  I could be on to something here.

I’m the white Rog.

 

Poster for “The Omega Man” (1971)

Warner Bros. Pictures.

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Throwback Thursday: “THANKS, EASTER BUNNY!”

Can anyone who lived in 1984 forget this M&M’s commercial?  Every kid on the school bus did an impression of the two kids at the end.

POCK! POCK!

 

Nurse Your Favorite Heresies in Whispers