I can’t claim credit for this one — it was related to me a while back by Brian Kelly of Wading River, New York. But it went over quite swimmingly today with my friends.
Q: “What is a pirate’s favorite letter?”
[Respondent inevitably guesses “Rrrrrrr.”]
A: “You’d think it’d be ‘Rrrrr,’ but it’s “The C.”
Photo credit: John Baur (“Ol’ Chumbucket”), one of the founders of Talk Like a Pirate Day. (Via Wikimedia Commons.)
1) Use your debit card instead of making ATM withdrawals to avoid the fee.
2) Ramen noodles have no nutritional value. And healthy meals CAN be made fairly quickly.
3) Just pull your shirt over that belt.
4) Try not to worry too much about what other people think.
5) Try not to worry too much about your age.
6) Not everybody is trying to search your computer. Also, you might be a little paranoid.
7) Not ALL vegetables assault the senses. Try this with a little cheese.
8) Reciting W. H. Auden is fine, but it’s okay to learn the work of other poets too.
9) One thing at a time.
10) Breathe.
11) “What did you eat today?” (You should eat more.)
12) Don’t freak out if I sound like your mother. (“WHAT DID YOU EAT TODAY?!!”) I am not “in collusion with” your mother. Also, you may be a little bit paranoid.
13) Sometimes there is a bit of a fine line between chivalry and sexism.
And last, but not least, the oft-revisited imperative:
14) SOMETIMES THERE ARE THINGS THAT WE DO NOT SAY OUT LOUD.
I have been enthusiastically informed that today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.
I am uncertain how to proceed.
“Feast”
Originally published on October 16, 2013, by Every Day Poets.
Or even a reference to “Highlander?!”
You disappoint me, world. Am I the only one in the world who watches MOVIES?!
If you have a darker sense of humor, as I do, you just might laugh at this. It’s a great piece — so great that I couldn’t wait until the holidays to link to it.
What a great ending!
Check out “Unmediated Experience,” by Bob Hicock, over at The Poetry Foundation:
I was telling a friend just the other day about this interview with Anthony Hopkins that I found online; I finally came across it again. People who know me know I am the kind of fan who views Hopkins with the same adulation with which other sci-fi fans view Patrick Stewart. (If anyone wants a more mainstream film to enjoy Hopkins at his best, check out 1997’s criminally underrated thriller, “The Edge,” with a screenplay by David Mamet. There’s some intense man-vs.-nature violence, but it’s easier for non-horror fans to stomach than the canni-happy, lotion-loving “The Silence of the Lambs.”)
Hopkins says he tries to memorize a poem a week. He mentions Shakespeare, Matthew Arnold, and William Butler Yeats.
I’d love to hear him recite “Dover Beach” and “An Irish Airman Foresees His Death.”
Here’s the interview:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP-Dw81oFJc&index=384&list=FLEjGv3WZw134CN_yJVg3_Hg
Partially redeeming an otherwise weak ninth season of “The X Files.”
THANK YOU.
We’ll forgive its reliance on a standard longstanding deus ex machina for the show — the agents encounter a situation in their personal lives that JUST HAPPENS to involve the same kind of paranormal threats they are charged with investigating.
And dear LORD, Doggett, kiss Monica already.
“Sonnet 64,” by William Shakespeare
When I have seen by Time’s fell hand defaced
The rich proud cost of outworn buried age;
When sometime lofty towers I see down-razed,
And brass eternal slave to mortal rage;
When I have seen the hungry ocean gain
Advantage on the kingdom of the shore,
And the firm soil win of the watery main,
Increasing store with loss, and loss with store;
When I have seen such interchange of state,
Or state itself confounded to decay;
Ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate
That Time will come and take my love away.
This thought is as a death which cannot choose
But weep to have that which it fears to lose.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 