Please stop the endless advertising featuring the Progressive Insurance girl; a subset of your target demographic finds her %$#@ing terrifying.
Someone this morning told me her name is “Flo,” but that’s silly. Because her name is LEGION.
Fear of clowns has got nothing on her.
Sincerely,
Eric Robert Nolan
I just made that up. I am on FIRE tonight. I do have a PayPal account if you people want to volunteer a cover charge.
I suggest that “The Island of Dr. Moreau” presents an answer to the recent Hello Kitty debate that should satisfy both sides.
No … not “Lady Weeping at the Crossroads,” though I do need to run that one here soon, if I haven’t already. This is Part III of “The Quest.”
I love to read darker poetry, but even a guy like me has got to admit, there are times it seems that ol’ Wystan needed to lighten up a little. After reading this, I wish I could go back in time and buy him a beer or a cup of coffee — whichever would cheer him up.
“The Crossroads,” by W. H. Auden
Two friends who met here and embraced are gone,
Each to his own mistake; one flashes on
To fame and ruin in a rowdy lie,
A village torpor holds the other one,
Some local wrong where it takes time to die:
This empty junction glitters in the sun.
So at all quays and crossroads: who can tell
These places of decision and farewell
To what dishonour all adventure leads,
What parting gift could give that friend protection,
So orientated his vocation needs
The Bad Lands and the sinister direction?
All landscapes and all weathers freeze with fear,
But none have ever thought, the legends say,
The time allowed made it impossible;
For even the most pessimistic set
The limit of their errors at a year.
What friends could there be left then to betray,
What joy take longer to atone for; yet
Who could complete without the extra day
The journey that should take no time at all?
“We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ”Yes, that’s the way it is, or at least that’s the way I feel it. You’re not as alone as you thought.””
– John Steinbeck
… that he refuses to read The Book of Revelation. He says he doesn’t want to know how the world ends.
True story.
Anyway, you learn something new every day. He corrected me about saying “The Book of Revelations;” the name of the text should NOT be pluralized. (I believe I have been misled by many third-rate horror movies trying to emulate “The Omen.”) Mary Washington College folks are a smart lot.
… and because Marion Ravenwood, Sarah Connor, Elektra Natchios, Catwoman, Dana Scully, Mandy, Nina Myers, Chloe O’Brian, Kate Austen, Juliet Burke, Starbuck and Laura Roslin.
“The Preparations,” by W. H. Auden (Part II of “The Quest”)
All had been ordered weeks before the start
From the best firms at such work: instruments
To take the measure of all queer events,
And drugs to move the bowels or the heart.
A watch, of course, to watch impatience fly,
Lamps for the dark and shades against the sun;
Foreboding, too, insisted on a gun,
And coloured beads to soothe a savage eye.
In theory they were sound on Expectation,
Had there been situations to be in;
Unluckily they were their situation:
One should not give a poisoner medicine,
A conjurer fine apparatus, nor
A rifle to a melancholic bore.
For Gillian Anderson, Tori Amos, Annie Wersching, Julianne Moore, a certain Twerp I know, a certain chef buddy of mine, and a certain indie publisher! Not to mention Patrick John and Rebecca Grace O’Conner.
Sorry about all those “Gingers have no souls” jokes all year round!!
In the same manner that I also apparently have multiple Goodreads accounts?
I have either hysterical dissociative disorder or computer illiteracy … I am not sure which. Actually, I am probably a diverse enough guy to have both of those covered. (Just be glad you’ve got the “good twin” addressing you right now.)
Anyway, if anyone wants to reach me or follow me online (as is the fondest hope of the narcissist in me), you can best do so just by using the links in the “Contact” section of this site.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 