Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Why do I feel attacked?

The meme below was created by J.D. Smith.  I’ve met at least two of these criteria.  I’m embarrassed to say which.

Gonna write me a poem based on a pun.

Gonna call it “No Poem Intended.”

 

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“Chihuahuaiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

All the little dogs

chasing and biting me can

just go f*** themselves.

 

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Photo credit: By David Shankbone – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5136536

“Industrial Revolution,” by Eric Robert Nolan

“Industrial Revolution,” by Eric Robert Nolan

1.

Did Leonardo Da Vinci
Endlessly dream of machines?
Not his own baroque creations, those
Wood and wire winged artworks
That hung over his study:
Alate and ordered, latticed contraptions,
Each a suspended symmetry,
Gargoyles in geometry.

Did he dream of machines to come?
I picture him up late,
Poring over his own illustrations first, then
Ushered into Euclidean sleep
By soothing mathematics —
The soft and ordered blossoms of
His own woodwork designs
Were flower-petal angles in his brain.

Could he, asleep, have foreseen
The assembly line, Ford’s
Ant-like Model T production?
Did he have an artist’s abhorrence
For its linear, dull, and utilitarian order?
Was it a nightmare for him?

2.

How did farmers feel
In the Industrial Revolution?
Staid agrarian men, their disapproving eyes
On the newfangled factories
Lining the horizon.

A rising scent of sulfur announces an age —
The new ripe stink
Of an advancing century.

The lined and coal colored fortresses,
Of an impregnable era.
Were castles for the Barons
In a new, feudal America —
Only burning – their smoke
Seeding a virgin sky
Up from the wide black loins and the lined, cracked skin
Of a newly darkened Earth.
Did they resent or marvel at
The New Century’s soot Aesthetic –
The black castles of iron?
A lined and ordered Hell —
Souls among the smokestacks,
And bellies full of conflagrations?

To the later observers of old photographs,
The blackening symmetry
At ninety-degree angles might
Resemble the rise of circuits.
Can you imagine farmers
Having prescient dreams?
What would one have thought, all tucked under
A homespun quilt at dark
Resenting advancing fortunes?
Might even one, once, in his antipathy
Have predicted, asleep,
The microchip’s square face?

I know no etymology
For the word, “Revolution.”
Is its root “revolt?”
To rise up against?
Or “revolve,” as in a circle?
“Revolve” as in “return?”

3.

Could Edison or Tesla
Have envisioned television – its great glass eye
Like Homer’s Cyclops,
Dull and full of vulgar visions,
Its mood made capricious
With changing channels?

We ought to pluck it out, or, at least,
Turn away at dinner.
We should cling to the books of our childhoods
Like the bellies of great sheep.
But we are not as sly
As Odysseus.

4.

During the old Cold War
In my 1980’s childhood
My father said he believed
Machines could prevent The End.

The Communist Revolution,
The Bolshevik revolt,
Had made its rising Bear
America’s enemy, in
A Nuclear Exchange, but Reagan
Marshaled forth our own machines in greater numbers.

I feared them —
The ICBM’s —
As a boy I imagined them
Rising in the sky in perfect symmetry
To make the new, black backcloth
Of the Atomic Age.

At the age of 13
I wrote a poem describing
Their blossoming explosions.
In my childhood dreams
Their interlocking contrails
Looked like lattice work
Or angled flower petals.
In nightmares they are prescient
The warheads already know
The name of every child turned to soot.

My father, however, envisioned
Devices on all our wrists
Connecting us all – we’d know
That distant Russian farmers
Were no Politburo.
Finally realizing
That we were all the same
We’d be reluctant to push
The Button.
Before the 90’s advent
Of The Internet
Was this a kind of prescience?
My father was a poet too.
Today, in his absence,
After I write this
I’ll share it with Eugene, my friend,
In Russia.

5.

My mother’s best machine
Is a tablet on her lap
Looking ironically like
Half the Christian commandments.
She asks me how I am.
I lie and say I’m fine.
In my heart, I am a farmer
Tucked under a quilt.
Circuits rise in the East;
In the West,
Missiles rise and arc at dusk.

My own machine
(with which I write this now)
Is full of distant visions:
The new and chic and sinful interests —
Zooey Deschanel and Richard Dawkins,
The New Girl and the erudite Briton,
Lust and apostasy in Windows.
Someday will there be
Prescient machines?
(Now, about the present, they’re omniscient.)

My favorite TV program
Shows monotheistic machines,
And an embittered robot
Has a nuclear suitcase.
The hunted warn one another,
“The Cylons look like us now.”
Elsewhere, seen
By my machine
An internet flame war
Turns NUCLEAR.
A nationalistic ugliness ensues
Stoked along the coals of the global circuitry.
My screen is the glass face
Of a monster hurling stones.
Maybe this, instead, is Homer’s Cyclops.

My laptop “hibernates”
When left alone too long
Once I imagined it dreaming
Of a better owner.

So unlike Da Vinci’s,
The asymmetric gargoyle
Of our own uncertain future
Hangs over our heads
Like a Sword of Damocles.
Its lopsided face
And lack of proper geometry
Is still our own design.

6.

I’m almost 41 and miss the girl I love.
She had a Revolution — rising in her cheeks
Flush red when
I tickled her tummy in public
That time in Virginia Beach.
Hailing from The South, we’d joke
She was a “farmer’s daughter.”
In her last words to me, she said
She couldn’t know the future.
(She isn’t prescient, after all.)
“A lot needs to happen.”
And now I need to be
Industrious.
When people ask me what I dream
I say that I do not.
Besides, I’d rather not.
Not when the red flush rises yet again in her high white cheeks
Like twin sudden gardens full of roses.

And I endlessly dream of machines.
I dream that I am one.
My face is the same, except
A bright-hot piston heart
Replaces soft aorta,
Hardened steel instead of red tissue,
And my mind
Is a reliable hard drive
Holding balanced equations.
This would be easier.
I want a world of heuristics.
Algorithms instead
Of red flush memories.

I want a Revolution.
I want the world to change.
If I see my Love again,
I will hold flowers
And angle in for a kiss.

“My heart is a machine now,” I’ll tell her.
I’ll brightly peel back
The soft, pale imperfect flesh and say,
“I’m stronger. Look, I’ve changed.
“Look at my heart. Look.
“See the steel here.
“Feel these steel angles, these veins are now only
“Piano-wire lattice work,
“Taut and tightly strung.
“Feel how the hardened symmetry
“Forms a perfect circuit.
“My heart is a bird-machine –
“It has Da Vinci’s wings.
“My heart is a latticed contraption.
“My heart for you is NUCLEAR.
“My heart is a prescient machine that sees our future.”
“My heart beats
“Its new and hardened life
“At angles.”
Her fingertips will be as soft
As flower petals.

I want a Revolution.
I want the world to change.
But if I meet my Love again
Will her eyes return to me?
Revolt?
Or turn away?

[Dedicated to Robert J. Nolan]

© Eric Robert Nolan 2013

Originally printed in Dead Snakes: http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2013/11/eric-robert-nolan-poem.html

 

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Throwback Thursday: “The Poseidon Adventure” (1972) and “The Towering Inferno” (1974)!

“The Poseidon Adventure” (1972) and “The Towering Inferno” (1974) were two seminal big-budget disaster action flicks produced by Irwin Allen.  They were both based on popular novels, they both had all-star ensemble casts, and they both found their way to network television fairly quickly.  They were both pretty decent flicks, too, I think … although I admittedly only saw them broadcast when I was very young.  (My best guess is that I caught them sometime around 1979 or 1980; I’d have been in the second or third grade.)

They both made a big impression on me.  Although “The Poseidon Adventure” is probably the better known of the two, it was “The Towering Inferno” that truly got under my skin.  It had its share of frightening sequences — at least by 1970’s standards.

The one I remember the most is one of its two famous “elevator scenes.”  After the plot-driving fire breaks out to create the titular burning high-rise, some panicking partygoers try to take an elevator directly to the street, past the burning floors — even after they’re warned not to try such an escape route.  The result (which you can see in the third video below) was pretty scary stuff, at least to a kid my age, just before 1980’s action films would thoroughly desensitize me to this sort of thing.  (It was not a decade known for nonviolent movies.)  The outcome of the scene sent a pretty big message to me about the importance of following the authorities’ instructions during a disaster.

Both “The Poseidon Adventure” and “The Towering Inferno” were also among the paperbacks that littered the backseat of my father’s car.  (Cars and closets and coffee tables in the house where I grew up were veritable small libraries; my father wasn’t reading Joyce or Dostoevsky, but lord knows that man read a lot.)  In the case of the latter film, “The Glass Inferno” was the name of the original book by Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson.  Believe it or not, I can remember asking my Dad what the word “inferno” meant.  And I remember being fascinated, for some reason, by the idea that filmmakers could change the name of a story when adapting it.  (The people who made movies could do anything they wanted!)

They actually remade “The Poseidon Adventure” a few years back … I saw it, and I might have even reviewed it for this blog.  I can’t say that it was memorable, though.  Indeed, the only thing I can recall about it was the presence of the priceless Kurt Russell.

Or maybe it was terrific, and I just don’t remember that.  I am getting old — after all, I was a second grader in 1979.

 

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“Lyin’-ass Advertiser Haiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

“Delicious, woven”

wheat crackers — a carefully

woven, willful lie.

 

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Hallo-WIN, people.

You see that second picture?  That happened when I tried to take a picture of the pumpkin.  But I accidentally took a picture of myself, because my phone’s camera was reversed, and I am an idiot.  For some reason, I’ve now discovered, I look as intense as the goddam Batman when I am taking pictures.  I should go to the roughest part of Roanoke and just point my cell phone camera around — scare the crap out of criminals.

 

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Throwback Thursday: “The Swarm” (1978)!

I was surprised when I recently discovered that “The Swarm” (1978) was a feature film; I remembered it as a made-for-television movie from my childhood.  (After its theatrical release, it debuted on NBC with a hell of a lot of fanfare in February 1980.)  I was also surprised to read that it was both a critical and a commercial flop, and is often named as one of the worst films ever made.  I was in the second grade at the time, and — let me assure you — this was THE movie the kids in school talked about.  We were in awe of it.

The people behind “The Swarm” had high hopes for it in 1978.  The internet informs me that it was based on a best-seller by famed novelist Arthur Herzog. And it was helmed by director Irwin Allen, who gave us two classic 70’s film adaptations of disaster novels — “The Poseidon Adventure” in 1972, and “The Towering Inferno” in 1974.  (Those were a pretty big deal back in the day.)  And just look at the cast named in the trailer below.  It’s like a who’s who of 1970’s cinema.  Yet it all apparently just didn’t pan out … contrary to my memories of second grade, “The Swarm” went down in pop culture history as a train wreck.

Check out the bee-proof suits worn by the guys with the flamethrowers.  Talk about an excellent G.I. Joe toy that was never made.  (Of course we had “Blowtorch,” but he was 80’s rad, and these guys in white are 70’s kitsch.)

 

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(I’m having a pun time, in other words.)

This latest press conference is difficult to follow, because these two presidents are hard to tell apart.

One guy is Finnish and the other guy is Finished.

 

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See ya later, alligator.

Breaking news — the president released his own early design for his planned border wall, complete with its moat filled with alligators and snakes.

Details will follow shortly after presidential nap-time.

 

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*&@#. NOW I’M A DUTCH SCHOOLBOY.

Update: I’m referring to the result of a haircut. I haven’t been the victim of a spell that magically transformed me into a Dutch schoolboy.

Update 2: “I SPILLED SNERT IN MY STROOPWAFEL, HEADMASTER.”

Update 3: “Hey, Girl. Wanna go out sometime? We can go Dutch.”

Update 4: DUTCH DO IT.

Update 5: I got a response to this last night from someone I think is a real, actual Dutch person.  She writes: “Can you just ride my bike and Presto I’m there. Hash tag lazy American omg do you have tequila.

I’m … I’m not even sure what all of that means, but it sounds fun.

 

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