Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

VOTE FOR DEEZ NUTS.

The Iowa high school sophomore is doing nothing less than pranking America’s entire electoral process.

What’s the deal with Gotham City-style pranksters popping up in the national discourse lately?  I love it.

I’d love to see Deez Nuts team up in some fashion with the Internet troll impersonating Target’s online customer service.

And don’t think that Deez Nuts is too young to be among Batman’s rouges gallery.  Anarky was a kid.  And the General (Ulysses Hadrian Armstrong) was just eleven years old.

Check out the following article:

“A 15-Year-Old Going by ‘Deez Nuts’ Is Doing Surprisingly Well in the Presidential Polls, by Carlton Ferment, Vice.com, 8/20/15:

http://www.vice.com/read/all-hail-president-deez-nuts?utm_source=vicefbus

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A review of “Extinction” (2015)

I’d give “Extinction” (2015) a 6 out of 10; it’s a fairly average postapocalyptic horror movie.  And that’s kind of sad, as it seemed to have the ingredients for a great one.

We open with a delightfully scary nocturnal ambush on two school buses crowded with fleeing refugees.  The scene isn’t perfect.  (The soldiers here are both too stoical and too stupid.)  But it’s effective thanks to its claustrophobic setup.  The assailants actually aren’t zombies or “undead” — they’re vicious, fast-moving mutants that are far more interesting.  (Their monsteryness is contagious and catches quickly, a la 2002’s “28 Days Later.”  This predictably spells disaster for the busses’ passengers.)  The animalistic albino baddies actually reminded me a lot of the creatures from “Mutants” (2009).

Then we jump ahead nine years, where two men and a nine-year-old girl suspect that they are the last of the world’s survivors.  But three people are enough for conflict, human nature being what it is.  There is a creatively conceived and fresh idea for a particularly dark end-of-the-world drama.  Jeffrey Donovan and Matthew Fox are both very good; yet the incredibly talented young Quinn McColgan outshines them both.  (Seriously, that little girl is off the hook.  Her performance might be the best thing about the film.)  The makeup effects for the monsters (here only referred to as “they” or “them”) are surprisingly fantastic for what seems like a low-budget film.  And you can tell that a nice amount of thought went into this movie, even if its understanding of Darwin is a little puzzling.  (Why would blindness be an adaptive trait for the monsters?)

I’m just not sure why this movie didn’t work so well for me.  Its formula sure as hell worked for “28 Days Later” and “Maggie” (2015).

Here’s what I think the problem was — the conflict between the two men was a plot that just never advanced.  One hates the other.  We eventually find out why, and it’s a compelling plot point, rendered fairly well in flashback.  But … it’s a static situation that just doesn’t proceed anywhere.  I actually got bored.

The monsters often did little to advance the tension.  They are usually offscreen, absent entirely, or even (in much of the movie’s beginning) presumed extinct.  My attention really did wander.

Finally, the extremely cheesy musical score detracted greatly from the tension that the movie does manage to establish.  This horror movie sounded like a Lifetime Channel movie-of-the-week.  That is not a good thing.  If only those violin players had been victims of the initial apocalypse.

Oh, well.  This is still a fairly good end-of-the-world tale.  And the creepy-crawlies were nice, when we got to see them.

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The Dude would not abide …

So an old college pal wrote to me the other day to ask for advice on which recent Stephen King novel he might check out.  He told me that he was interested in something more mainstream horror.  He said he enjoyed King more before the author “got into all the dark tower stuff and a wondering dude.”  I steered my friend away from “Joyland” and toward “Mr. Mercedes.”

But I love that typo.  A “wondering dude” immediately makes me think “The Dude” from “The Big Lebowski” wandering around Mid-world, befuddled, after accidentally stepping through an inter-dimensional door.  He’d have a “beverage” in one hand and a WTF expression on his face.

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I am trying to watch the Perseid meteor shower right now …

… and I am not seeing a DAMN thing.

The same thing happened during the last big sky event … that Blue Moon/Blood Moon/Sailor Moon/Neptune/whatever.

Why do I always suck at these things?

There’s always a silver lining.  If I can’t see the meteors, then I can’t be reduced to ash or zombified as per a crappy, overrated 1980’s horror movie, right?

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“The Unknown,” from Edgar Lee Masters’ “Spoon River Anthology”

“The Unknown”

—  from Edgar Lee Masters’ “Spoon River Anthology”

YE aspiring ones, listen to the story of the unknown
Who lies here with no stone to mark the place.
As a boy reckless and wanton,
Wandering with gun in hand through the forest
Near the mansion of Aaron Hatfield,
I shot a hawk perched on the top
Of a dead tree. He fell with guttural cry
At my feet, his wing broken.
Then I put him in a cage
Where he lived many days cawing angrily at me
When I offered him food.
Daily I search the realms of Hades
For the soul of the hawk,
That I may offer him the friendship
Of one whom life wounded and caged.


SpoonRiverAnthology

A very short review of “Cockneys vs. Zombies” (2012).

“Cockneys vs. Zombies” (2012) began with such promise — with cool, funny characters; capable comedic actors; an attempt at a decent story; and dry, witty British dialogue.  It looked like it could be a cool unauthorized companion film to “Shaun of the Dead” (2004).

Sadly, then, it didn’t pan out.  The offbeat, character-driven banter gave way to a lot of slapstick that didn’t really work for me.  And problems with pacing and tension prevented this from being an effective horror film.

I’d give this a 4 out of 10.  Oh well.

I have two questions after this film about British slang, with which I try to stay current.  (What can I say?  Some great horror movies come out of Britain.  I love it when Frank tells the crow in “28 Days Later” to “get out of it.”)

  1.  When someone gets mad at another, they call him a … mop-head?  Moppet?  Muppet?  They always say that word so fast.
  2.  If somebody says something stupid, you call them a “plum?”
kinopoisk.ru
kinopoisk.ru

550 Atari 2600 Games! Online! For Free!

Now here is a gem, courtesy of my boy Frank — Virtual Atari, where you can play (most of) your 80’s favorites right online, using your keyboard!

http://www.virtualatari.org/

The games available number at 550, and that’s pretty damned impressive, if you ask me.  There are so many that the list includes even the most questionably inspired games.  We’ve got “cartridges” for games like “Crazy Valet,” “Save the Whales” and the truly befuddling unauthorized German game, “Snail Against Squirrel.”  (Do such melees occur in real life?  I can only imagine that they would play out rather quickly.)

It’s Sunday!!  Have fun!!

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“Legionnaires’ disease outbreak kills 10 in NYC, 100 infected” (RT)

Here’s a little perspective — Legionnaire’s disease is an environmental threat and cannot be spread from person to person.  This article also quotes New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo as saying the disease typically occurs annually in more than 500 people statewide.

https://www.rt.com/usa/311904-legionnaires-disease-nyc-outbreak/

A review of “Grendel Omnibus Volume 1: Hunter Rose”

Matt Wagner created a world for “Grendel” that is brutal, violent, tragic and sad. It’s also home to some of the best comic book stories ever created. “Grendel Omnibus Volume 1: Hunter Rose” is as close to perfect a collection as you can get, in my humble opinion. It deserves a 10 out of 10.

Commemorating the 30th Anniversary of the creation of Hunter Rose, this is a comprehensive collection of all the iconic arch-criminal’s tales, presented as chronologically as possible. (After the death of this character, the various “Grendel” comic books focused on other characters who subsequently adopted the name and identity … it’s a little hard to explain.)

It begins with “Grendel: Devil by the Deed,” which is a great summary of biopic of the title character, and then moves on to more than 40 other stories, all penned by Wagner and illustrated by various other artists. It ends with the fantastic “Grendel: Behold the Devil,” illustrated by Wagner.

These comics are as difficult to describe as they are amazingly good. On the surface, this is a noir crime-story collection, about a masked mastermind who overruns the East Coast mobs. He’s pursued by the “Argent the Wolf,” the closest this series comes to presenting a hero.
But the “Grendel” identity (both here and in Wagner’s later incarnations) is really more of an abstract force, like aggression or amorality. When you look at both Hunter Rose and his successors, you do realize that Wagner seems to be tackling nothing less than the nature of evil. (This becomes more evident in Wagner’s later “Grendel” personas.) If you enjoy these comics (as I obviously have), that’s fine. But if you empathize with the main character (I’m not even sure he’s a protagonist), you ought to worry.

He isn’t an antihero, or even a sympathetic villain like Dr. Doom or Venom. He’s evil. He murders countless people, both innocent and guilty – all merely to provide his supergenius mind with “challenge,” to achieve “focus,” and to gain “dominance and subjugation” over every human being he encounters.

Nor are we often presented with many other “good” major characters. Argent, the ostensible hero, brutally slaughters even low-level criminals, with the tacit approval of a desperate and morally shaky New York City Police Department. Both Grendel and other characters opine that he isn’t much better than the villain.

Does Wagner succeed in creating a three-dimensional character? That’s hard to say. He really seems more archetypal when compared with a more complex, fully realized characters in comics (as Bruce Wayne often is, in the hands of the right writer). Wagner does explain his transformation and motivations, but to me they seem incomplete. Still, Hunter Rose damned compelling and fascinating to follow. Wagner has a beautiful command of the English language, and I do think that Hunter Rose is the most eloquently voiced comic book character I’ve ever read.

Wagner’s (varying) style is also a little hard to describe. When I first started reading his stuff way back in the 1990’s, I tried to explain to other comic fans that his stories were “experimental.” These books were rarely similar to what you would read from DC or Marvel, or even Dark Horse. They’re written, structured and drawn in a variety of ways – often, for example, using lots if text that makes the books “prose-heavy.” You sort of have to read the books to “get it.” If you’re a serious comic book fan, it’s worth checking out Wagner’s work just to see the different kind of things he can do with the medium.

The art is unique and beautiful. I know very little about art in general, but I do think there’s an art deco influence, and Wagner’s illustrations actually kind of remind me of Walt Disney’s classic work.

All in all, this is a fantastic collection. I strongly recommend it.

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I’m constantly getting free stuff in Virginia.

Bus rides, train rides, sodas, coffee etc.

Do I look po’?  (My doctor told me today that my shirt was too small, and that I needed a new one!  She’s a lady doc, so I let the comment slide …)

Are people just charmed by my Baby Face?

Does my ponderous expression alert people to the fact that I am sometimes slow to understand things?  And do they then figure that I need all the help I can get?

Or is it that the people of this Commonwealth are just so preposterously, inexplicably NICE?