Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Damn it, I just GAWLO’ed again.

(Grudgingly Agreeing With Len Ornstein.)

Stop CHALLENGING my preconceptions, you articulate conservative bastard!!

“Those were the dark days of America’s infancy.”

Following up on yesterday’s blog post about Nathan Hale for July 4th —  I actually wrote briefly about Hale and New York’s revolutionary history in “The Dogs Don’t Bark In Brooklyn Any More.”  It was background information about Brooklyn’s Prospect Park; the novel’s story, of course, takes place in a fictional future.

I actually made up the “local legend” about Hale’s ghost brooding around the arch.  I have no doubt that the park has its share of ghost stories, but this one was only a bit of poetic license on my part:

“[Prospect Park] is a haunted place. Many men have died in the vicinity of its gently rolling hills, though the occasion of their passing predates the park’s mid-nineteenth century creation. The area around Prospect Park is the site of the Revolutionary War’s first and largest major battle, fought in the waning summer of 1776, not two months after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. 

“The fledgling United States fielded its first official army there, with heartbreaking results. The Battle of Brooklyn was a disaster for America, whose sons were outnumbered two-to-one by 22,000 English and Hessian soldiers. George Washington, flush with his victory at Boston, found his forces routed. He barely escaped to Manhattan in a desperate, stealthy evacuation of more than 9,000 troops. On the morning of August 30, he and his retreating men were met along the Brooklyn hills with a miraculous surprise – a dense morning fog that concealed their perilous exit. To Washington and his war-weary comrades, it must have seemed like nothing short of divine intervention. 

“Those were the dark days of America’s infancy – Nathan Hale would not long after be captured on a mission of espionage in Manhattan, disguised as a Dutch schoolteacher, and would be hanged, after his immortal lament that he had but a single life to give for his country. The defeat in Brooklyn also cleared the way for the Crown’s capture of all of New York City. The Great Fire of 1776 would ravage Manhattan. And the city would remain in England’s hands until the end of the war. 

“Ironically, the park’s principal monument is devoted to another war entirely – one in which America turned upon itself. This is the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Memorial Arch, a massive structure dedicated to the Union Army during the Civil War. If there is an afterlife, then perhaps it might break Washington’s heart – and Hale’s – to see the Arch as it stands today, a memorial to Americans killing Americans. Indeed, a local legend holds that Hale’s ghost occasions the site of the Arch and hangs his gaze upon it, glum with the knowledge of a nation divided and torn.”

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DAMN IT, this is good idea!

Soooooo.  Yesterday’s July 4th marked America’s 239th birthday … next year will be its 240th.  That’s 240 years.  Or 24 decades.

THIS WILL BE NEXT YEAR’S NATIONAL THEME SONG:

I propose that every American citizen endeavor to kill or capture at least one terrorist on July 4th of 2016.  In the event of failing this objective, he or she will be responsible for yelling “DAMN IT!!!” at least five times over the course of the day.

A mixed review of “The X Files,” Season 9.

[THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MINOR SPOILERS.]  Well … it pains me to admit it, but even a diehard fan of “The X Files” has got to admit that its quality waned in the last season of its regular run — 2001’s Season 9 was pretty uneven, with great “monster-of-the-week” episodes and surprisingly disappointing final entries into the show’s over-arching “mythology” episodes.  I’d give this season a 7 out of 10, and that’s from a biased fanboy who loves this show in much the same way that others love Star Wars and Star Trek.  Frankly, I’d recommend that you peruse Wikipedia’s episode list to select the standalone eps so that you can watch only those.  Skip the conspiracy eps entirely — even if you’re a lover of the long running mythology, as I am.  (You’ll only be disappointed.)

Again, a few of the single stories really shined, and weren’t symptomatic of the creative problems that visibly plagued the show near the end of its 90’s era run.  At the top of the list is the outstanding “Release,” in which the murder of John Doggett’s son is resolved.  This episode had everything that made “The X Files” great — good guys, bad guys, and ambiguous guys all working at cross purposes; a tragic mystery; a haunted past; pathos; twists and red herrings; and great emotional interactions among key characters.  Plus … wrath and gunshots. Damn cool.

“Release” also highlighted Cary Elwes’ wonderful talent.  What a great, darkly ambiguous character he made Brad Follmer.  I liked him far better in this role than his comic caricature in “The Princess Bride” (1987) or his traumatized victim in the “Saw” movies.  This show could have taken on great new directions if it had emphasized the triangle among Doggett, Monica Reyes and Follmer, instead of belaboring past stories so much to retain fans of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.

Other episodes shined as well.  “4D” and “Audrey Pauley” were like great episodes of the classic “The Outer Limits” (1963).  “Audrey Pauley” benefited from a fantastic actress (Tracey Ellis) in the title role.  “Hellbound” frighteningly pushed the limits of gore and shock-horror.  And “John Doe” was a pretty decent old-fashioned Hitchcock-type crime tale.

Let’s … just not dwell on “Improbable,” the utterly stupid … “numerology episode.”  They bagged an amazing guest actor like the iconic Burt Reynolds and subjected him to this?!  If anyone can tell me the significance of those two unidentified Italian men crooning in the episode’s coda, I’d be eternally grateful.

The mythology episodes … sigh.  They failed to please.  I know that many fans point to David Duchovny’s absence as the reason, but I disagree.  This is the story of a decades-old, global, inter-planetary conspiracy.  It isn’t just one man’s story, and we’d followed Fox Mulder’s quest for the prior eight years.  We can have a coherent and logical continuation of the story without him.  And the writers and actors of “The X Files” did just fine in introducing more crusaders that we care about — two great characters in the form of Doggett and Reyes.  Robert Patrick was terrific; Annabeth Gish wasn’t perfect, but had room to grow, as Gillian Anderson did in the early years.  And of course Anderson’s immense talents still made Scully a perfect heroine.  You know what would have been a daring creative decision?  Martyring Mulder to motivate the survivors.  (Duchovny wanted to leave anyway, didn’t he?)

For me, two other problems were responsible for the show’s decline.  The first was structure, and the second was the redundancies with past seasons.  Season 9 was all over the place — at this point, I’d bet the viewers had largely lost hope that the show’s long-running mysteries would be resolved.  Subplots were raised and dropped with little impact; the episodes concerning baby “William” were maudlin and tiresome.  The season moved forward with minimal clues and exposition.  Its penultimate episode, “Sunshine Days,” was … a mythology episode?  Or not?  I’m not sure — we have a new superpowered character whose unique gifts might be “the answer to everything.”  Well … that’s pretty much the same plot point with which we left off with Gibson Praise in a prior season.  It was a nebulous plot point that wasn’t well supported in the script then, and it’s even less believable now.  And the final episode was a cobbled together rush job, in which past guest stars cameoed in a literal trial for Mulder.  (Admittedly, I, for one, thought Chris Carter did a decent job of wrapping up pre-existing story arcs.)  The we leave off with a kind of … distant-future cliffhanger … which was subsequently unaddressed by the second feature film in 2008.

But the recycled story arcs were worse.  Instead of a conspiracy, we have “a new conspiracy.” Instead of superpowered Alien Bounty Hunters with a little known Achilles’ heel, we have … “super-soldiers” with a little known Achilles’ heel. (And this silly story device seems like something out of the old “Roadrunner” cartoons.)  Instead of a credulous guy and a skeptical lady, we have a credulous lady and a skeptical guy.  I’m not sure what Carter was thinking, except that he must have been consciously paralleling past seasons that had proven so popular.

Oh, well.  It’s still “The X Files.”  And it wasn’t all bad.  Check it out on Netflix and decide what you think.

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Happy Fourth of July, To One and All!!!

Maybe it is a bit rainier here on the East Coast than we had hoped, but we’ll still find some way to blow something up.  (We’re Americans, after all.)

Please don’t drink and drive.  Also, please keep your pets indoors.  (I’m told that more pets are lost on July 4th than any other day of the year.)

Everyone have an awesome national birthday party!!!

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“Discipline is the soul of an army.”

“Discipline is the soul of an army. It makes small numbers formidable, procures success to the weak, and esteem to all.”

—  George Washington

Happy Fourth of July weekend, everybody!!!

Hey, British Mates — 239 years is a long time!!!  If you come to America this weekend, we all party together.  We even forgive you for those 1812 shenanigans!!

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Photo credit: “George Washington Crossing the Delaware,” by Emanuel Leutze

A short review of “Hellraiser: Deader” (2005)

Believe it or not, “Hellraiser: Deader” (2005) surprised me at first for being unexpectedly good for the seventh film in a franchise.  We’ve got a detailed, original, creative horror story setup, we’ve got some quite good makeup effects, and we’ve got Romania as a great atmospheric location.  I was having a good time.

Just past the halfway mark, however, this movie descended into confused plotting and incomprehensibility, half-heartedly depicted by bland directing and bad acting.  (The lead actress here illustrates for us that not every pretty girl can be an Oscar contender.)

Fans of the franchise, take note — this is only a putative “Hellraiser” movie.  The iconic “Pinhead” makes a couple of perfunctory appearances; the other “Cenobites” appear once, I think, in background.  A quick check of Wikipedia confirmed my suspicion — this was originally a standalone horror movie script, into which these characters were inserted (and pretty tenuously in terms of plot).  Clive Barker had no creative involvement whatsoever.

I’d give this movie a 3 out of 10 for an interesting first half, and I’d recommend you skip it.

You know what?  Go watch “From Within” (2008).  That’s a good horror yarn that gets too little press.

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“Bumblebee,” by Eric Robert Nolan

There has simply been way too much pathos of late among the blogosphere’s poets.  In the past few days, our own little online circle has labored to describe houses full of empty picture frames (Dennis Villelmi), nightmare airports (me), sick children (Anna Martin), and even Old Yeller (SAZL).

It’s summer.  Let’s lighten the mood.  “Bumblebee” was first published by Every Day Poets in September 2013.

It’s a poem about a bee.  No, the bee is not a metaphor for childhood guilt or lost loves, and, no, it does not attack the narrator like one of Cthulhu’s minions.  (I’m not always such a surly duck.)

Anyone who catches the Kevin Smith reference in this blog post will be made an honorary correspondent.  And that’s a coveted distinction.  Just ask Len Ornstein about his newfound fame and renown.

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“Bumblebee,” by Eric Robert Nolan

 

Bumbling along a bit close to me

Is busy Mister Bumblebee

He inventories dandelions

With prodding, plush black legs.

 

I inventory carcinogens

With unfiltered cigarettes,

My legs, in bluejeans, lazily

Crossed in the grass.

 

He buzzes, I puff.

A mute truce transpires

I won’t stomp if he won’t sting.

Just two fellas

 

Mindin’ their own business.

 

© Eric Robert Nolan 2013

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Photo credit: “Bee In a Dandelion,” Busangane, own work, via Wikimedia Commons. 

A tiny review of Season 6 of “The X Files.”

Season 6 of “The X Files” is probably the best season of the series, in my honest opinion. It deserves a perfect 10.

The mythology episodes (and their conclusion in the “Two Fathers/One Son” story arc) are the best ever – a perfect blend of science fiction, horror, mystery, suspense and spy thrillers. It’s fantastic the way Chris Carter gave us convincing special effects for a 1990’s tv show.

Standalone episodes were also at their best, with gems like “Drive,” “Milagro,” Arcadia” and “Monday.”

The only failure was the truly horrible episode, “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas.” It was truly as stupid as it sounds. It just can’t drag down the otherwise amazing season, though.

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A tiny review of “The X Files,” Season 5.

“The X Files” was in its heyday during Season 5 – this deserves a perfect 10. There were a slew of fantastic mythology episodes, and the standalones included all-time classics such as “The Pine Bluff Variant,” “Folie a Deux” and “Bad Blood.”

There was only one misfire – the draggy and unsatisfying “Chinga.” And even that was at least watchable, thanks to onscreen chemistry between David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

Great stuff.

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