Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

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Midnight existential angst.

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It is always at its apex when, in silence and under cover of darkness, one day supplants another.  Sleep recedes, drawing back like the tide of an ever quickening, warm ocean.

Freud wrote that we are driven by two basic needs: the sex urge and the desire to be great. Is it a sign of advancing age that the latter eclipses the former?

When I was young, I chased young women. But at midnight now my mind will chase the racing, red, flame-bright hare of purpose, that year by year gains distance from me with its burning slim legs, as the years ahead themselves grow fewer.

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I was chased by a bull when I was 19.

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I was hiking around Locust Grove, Orange County, in the perilous land of VIRGINIA. The Internet, and even DVDs, weren’t a thing yet. In my day, people had to AIMLESSLY WALK LONG DISTANCES just for fun.

It wasn’t pleasant; holy crap. I was even wearing red shorts at the time.

There are two morals to the story:

1) Never trespass, but especially at farms.

2) Hiking is bad for you. Stay home and watch TV.

Friends kept calling me “The Bull Runner” in college.  I made it a point to eat burgers at the school cafeteria every day, because Karma’s a bitch, Baby.

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A very short review of “The Taking of Deborah Logan” (2014)

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“The Taking of Deborah Logan” (2014) was decent enough; I’d give it a 7 out of 10.  It’s a nice variation of the found-footage horror movie.   It begins as a straightforward documentary-in-production, as a young film crew follows a troubled Alzheimer’s patient.  Then it becomes apparent that there are even darker forces at work.

There’s nothing terribly new here, but it’s still scary enough.  The pacing is a bit slow, the special effects were nothing new, but the makeup effects were very well done.  There’s a very nice touch at the very end.

Jill Larson is fantastic in the title role.  Seriously, where did they find this woman?  She’s a superb actress, even playing the “normal” Deborah Logan with charm and sympathy.  The screenwriters should have shown us more of the unafflicted Deborah, to raise the stakes emotionally when she gets all demonified.

It’s also fun seeing Anne Ramsay again; she’s a cool, fun actress.  Does anyone else remember her as Jamie’s wacky sister in “Mad About You?”  I used to love that show when I was in my 20’s.  Go ahead and ask to see my “man card;” I’m used to it by now.

The Taking of Deborah Logan

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The Lazarus Effect on the Flatliners’ Jaunt. With Dark Phoenix.

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[THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MILD SPOILERS FOR “THE LAZARUS EFFECT.”]  “The Lazarus Effect” (2015) is a good horror – science fiction movie, just not a great one.  I’d give it a 7 out of 10.

It’s well put together.  There are some scary parts, and the characters are likable, if thinly drawn.  One part of this movie expertly recalls Stephen King’s amazing short story, “The Jaunt,” which I believe is the scariest story I’ve ever read.  The closing moments of the movie are damn creepy.   (Watch carefully until the end.)

If you think you recognize Eva, that’s the talented young Sarah Bolger, who was troubled by a vampire prep-school classmate in “The Moth Diaries” (2011).  The smart-mouthed lab assistant?  That’s none other than Quicksilver from “X-Men: Days of Future Past” (the likable Evan Peters).

But here’s it’s problem — this film’s story device was already employed a hundred times better 25 years ago by the far superior “Flatliners.”  That 1990 classic exceeds it on every level — even visually, despite today’s CGI.  I just can’t recommend paying to see “The Lazarus Effect” if the star-studded, funny, genuinely frightening “Flatliners” is available at home.

Even “The Lazarus Effect’s” modern special effects are nothing new.  When Zoe (Olivia Wilde) completes her horrifying transformation, I swear she looked exactly like Jean Grey after her transformation into Dark Phoenix in “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” (2006).

We’re also left with a lot of questions.  (Again, I’m trying to keep this generally spoiler free.)

1)  Are we seeing the real Zoe?  A possessed Zoe?  A traumatized Zoe?  An angry version of Zoe?  All four?  I’m still not sure.

2)  Why does Zoe’s transformation appear to happen gradually?  Why not immediately?

3)  Why is one character made to face consequences for a childhood mistake, no matter how serious it may have been?

4)  What exactly is the significance of the side effects we are told about (increased brain activity and aggression)?

5)  Given what we know about what’s happening to Zoe, does it really make sense that the dog should have a comparable experience?

6)  Can the process we see have a happier outcome for a different subject?

7)  Why does Zoe object to the lab assistant using e-cigarettes in the laboratory?  “Vaping” produces no smoke or odor, and contains no tobacco — it’s just a water mist.

Anyway … do any other horror-sci-fi fans remember “Flatliners” the way I do?  I never hear it mentioned.  Its contemporary, “The Lost Boys,” (justifiably) still gets praise and brings tons of nostalgia to 80’s horror movie fans.  Why not “Flatliners?”  EVERYBODY talked about “Flatliners” back in the day.  It was even better “The Lost Boys,” and it’s served up with both Kief AND Bacon.

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A tiny review of “Project Almanac” (2014).

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Project Almanac (2014) was decent enough; I’d give it an 8 out of 10.  It serves up some nice suspense, with moments that were very funny — Quinn Goldberg’s travails as the group’s awkward member made me laugh, and I wish they gave him more screen time.  There are some familiar tropes here, but they’re still made interesting by the found-footage format.

The ending is a bit obvious … it’s a resolution I think any audience member could have suggested.  And it could have carried a hell of a lot more of emotional punch, considering who’s talking, instead of being rushed along in favor of a less interesting love story subplot.

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JAMES WOODS CAME TO MY HOUSE AND LET ME TAKE HIS PICTURE!!

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No, it’s just my new haircut. Because the world needs to know I actually am not a damned hippy. Everywhere that women love aging comic book nerds, hearts are breaking.

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A short review of “The Babadook” (2014).

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“The Babadook” (2014) was a decent horror movie — maybe not quite as phenomenal as all the hype suggests, but still quite good.  I’d give it an 8 out of 10.

The acting was just great all around, the directing was good, and the movie benefits from a spooky, atmospheric buildup.  The tone-setting developments with the children’s book were creative, spooky and perfect.  The illustrator for that book deserves a lot of credit for making this film effective.

I did think the pacing was a bit slow, and the ultimate reveal of The Babadook itself was unimpressive.  I immediately thought the entity looked like a cross between Edward Scissorhands and Danny Devito’s The Penguin.  It’s ugly and annoying; I might rather punch it in the face than run from it — especially after it traumatized that poor, misunderstood kid.  (I feel the same way about clowns; I will never understand the common phobia.)

This film might also borrow a page or two from other horror outings.  I know I’ve seen that playground bit before.  And the first appearance of the entity closely parallels “The X- Files” episode “Folie a Deux.”  This monster-of-the-week episode is a classic, one of the show’s best.  “The Babadook’s” visual and even sound effects during the ceiling scene seemed almost identical to me.

Side note: does anyone else in the film or audience realize that this child is incredibly advanced if he is able to construct these weapons?  The character is six years old — the best that I could do at age nine when I played vikings with the kid next door was a broomstick and a garbage can lid as a shield.  I actually made a working crossbow when I was 11 or so, but it certainly didn’t work like this kid’s.  If Australia (where the film takes place) has an equivalent to DARPA, this kid needs to work there right after engineering school.

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Krasny Oktyaber

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Sometimes hunting for the right bus in Virginia is like the goddam Hunt For Red October.

It’d be totally worth it if I could meet Pensive Inscrutable Russian Sean Connery.  But that doesn’t happen.

Anyway, my checkup today went well.

Doctor:  “Everything with you is normal, Mr, Nolan.”

Me:  “Honey, you don’t KNOW ME.”

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Mr. Evans, I presume.

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OH MY GOD.

Virginia still has BOB EVANS. There is one right near the barbershop I’m hitting tomorrow. This is a venerable institution that deserves my patronage. I’m not even mad anymore about how the Fredericksburg store worked my fingers to the bone when I was 20. And I rocked that black and burgundy uniform in my long ago trim and strapping days.

Tomorrow I will enjoy biscuits, gravy, sweet coffee, and easy conversation at the breakfast counter with temperate Southern souls.

I will address the counter lady as “Ma’am,” and she will call me “Boy.” Because THE SOUTH.

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I’m thinking of renaming this website …

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“Smoke a Little Poetry and Get Haiku.”

Whaddya think, Sirs?