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Throwback Thursday: this 1985 commercial for Alka Seltzer Plus!

This commercial came up in a conversation today with a friend of mine. I’m honestly not sure why I remember it after 35 years. Part of it is the last guy interviewed in the 30-second ad, and his unusual sentence construction — it’s a linguistic idiosyncrasy I’ve occasionally heard in movies or on TV, but never in real life. It’s just gotta come from a regional dialect somewhere. (The man’s name was Linwood Workman, which unconsciously suggested to others throughout his life that he was a reliable man to hire, I’m sure.)

But I might remember this ad well just because it seemed so weird and campy to me at age 13, when it aired constantly. Ads aimed at my age group made products seem cool and exciting, or maybe just farcically zany. (Consider the Spuds MacKenzie ad campaign, for example.) Ads aimed at adults were strangely cornball stuff. What was the angle here? Were adults meant to trust these people because they were relatable or special? My town had only one professional fisherman (who, coincidentally, was also my science teacher, my part-time employer and a really cool guy. SHOUT OUT TO MR. TSCHIEMBER!) But were small-town New England fisherman especially trustworthy about which cold medicines should we buy? Why?

You could argue that this was a very effective ad, because I remember it after 35 years. You know what, though? I’ve never purchased Alka Seltzer Plus in my life. Maybe I’m just a cynic where fishermen are concerned.

 

Cover to “28 Days Later” #9B, Declan Shalvey, 2009

Boom! Studios. Variant cover.

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Murder hornets?

You’d figure God would go easy on us after coronavirus by giving us … misdemeanor vandalism spiders or shoplifting yellowjackets.

Even embezzlement bumblebees would be nice.

[Update:] Now I’m preoccupied with the (surprisingly charming) notion of shoplifting yellowjackets.

What would they steal? How many of them would be required to lift up a bag of Combos? Why is it all so adorable?

I’m distractible, in other words.

Cover to “28 Days Later” Volume 4, Tim Bradstreet, 2011

Boom! Studios.  Trade paperback.

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Some context.

The people who say coronavirus is a hoax are the same people who say we didn’t see graphite on the ground.

 

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“Fate,” Alfons Mucha, 1920

Alphonse_Mucha_-_Fate

I’m sitting down with my copy of Illumen.

The Spring 2020 Issue is great read.  I am currently enjoying the work of featured poet Francis W. Alexander.

If you can lay hands on a copy, I highly recommend K.S. Hardy’s short poem “Night.”  It’s perfect.

 

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Cover to “La Plume” #192, Alfons Mucha, 1897

Lithograph.

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“There is only one way to avoid criticism.”

There is only one way to avoid criticism:
do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

— Aristotle

 

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Public access TV has gotten weird.

I’m watching an inarticulate, obviously unprepared middle school student stumble his way through … an oral report … at a science fair? About … biology?

Kid sounds like there’s something wrong with him.

OH WAIT, IT’S THE PRESIDENT ON FOX NEWS TALKING ABOUT THE PANDEMIC. My bad.