Dear Kevin Feige:
Please bring Jessica Jones into the wider Marvel Cinematic Universe.
You could balance things out, Thanos-style, by killing off Star-Lord or something! Maybe Groot too, for good measure.
Sincerely,
Eric Robert Nolan
Tag Archives: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Okay … Episode 1 of “She-Hulk” (2022) was pretty damned good!
It looks to be a smart, irreverent, dialogue-driven trip in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and it maybe has kind of a Kevin Smith vibe to it?
Tatiana Maslany makes the show worth watching, in the same way that Krysten Ritter (Jessica Jones) and Hailee Steinfeld (Kate Bishop) made their shows work — by giving us a smart, fast-talking, likable wiseass as a heroine.
I already like her more than … He -Hulk. Regular Hulk? Let’s just call him Hulk Classic. (Sorry, guys, I was never that into Bruce Banner or his alter-ego. Don’t kill me.)
Count me in.
Postscript — here’s a fun thing to debate … who would be the first character in the MCU to break the fourth wall? Would it be She-Hulk? Wanda in the latest Doctor Strange movie? Or does Deadpool count yet?
My buddy photoshopped me as Wolverine; now I’m seeking an audition with the MCU.
[UPDATE: You people DO realize this is s a joke, right? I am not actually seeking the role of Wolverine.]
Wish me luck. Below is the full text of my e-mail to Kevin Feige:
*****
SUBJ: Eric Robert Nolan *IS* Wolverine!!!
Mr. Kevin Feige
President, Marvel Studios
Dear Mr. Feige:
I am writing to you today about an immeasurable benefit that I can bring to the Marvel Cinematic Universe — a definitive silver screen interpretation of Marvel’s iconic character, Wolverine. Behold, please, the photoshopped image of me attached to this e-mail, which shows that I am uniquely suited for the role. (To fully appreciate my uncanny likeness, Mr. Feige, I must ask you here to vocalize the classic sound effect “Snickety-snick” when viewing the photo.) Although my body at age 49 might look slightly different than conventional representations of the character, I feel certain that modern CGI could remedy this.
I studied extensively with the Mary Washington College Drama Department between 1991 and 1994. I studied comic books at the same time — outside of an academic program but with an unbridled enthusiasm I never showed any of my formal studies. I also periodically defeated my formidable classmate John Matthias in debates about whether Wolverine could beat Silver Surfer — and even wrestled him about it in the lobby of New Hall before the 1994 Fall Formal. (I surprised him with the classic tactic with which you are doubtlessly familiar, Wolverine’s roaring, berserker leap.)
There are other benefits as well, should you choose to employ me for this role — I am highly skilled with puns, free-verse poetry, and deconstructing arguments made by Donald Trump supporters. I feel certain that all three of these skills would promote an enlightened and entertained workplace. I will contact your office next week to determine whether an audition can be arranged.
Kindest regards,
Eric Robert Nolan
Roanoke, Virginia
ericrnolan@gmail.com
https://ericrobertnolan.com/
P.S. — You did an outstanding job with “What If …?,” by the way! It’s truly amazing stuff!
Agatha Hotness, amirite?
(Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.)
It actually just occurred to me that she is the only character that I’m aware of in the Marvel Cinematic Universe who’s broken the fourth wall. (Sure, Deadpool does it all the time, but he hasn’t been introduced to the MCU yet.)
I saw Black Widow!
But it wasn’t this year’s upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe movie — it was a real goddam highly venomous spider on the outside of my garbage pail just now. (The signature red hourglass marking would be on its underside.) I would have loved to find Scarlett Johansson clinging to the side of my garbage pails, but generally my luck doesn’t work like that.
My neighbor found it and pointed it out to me, and my Internet search indeed seems to confirm that it is of the Southern Black Widow Spider (Latrodectus mactans) species. I also learned two fun facts: 1) “black widows” are actually several species of spiders that are also called “true widows,” which I find vaguely poetic, and 2) these are the most venomous spiders in North America. The female’s bite is approximately 15 times more potent than than a rattlesnake bite. Okay … that second fact is probably more terrifying than it is “fun.”
My neighbor also started telling me other black widow facts, like how if you find one, you can expect to find more because of … mating season or something, but I literally walked away as fast as I could, because that’s the kind of fatally depressing news I expect from the national news.
Anyway, my best friend got a new pet just yesterday, and she keeps showing off her hamster pics — so maybe this is my way of keeping up with the Joneses.
Was “X-Men: Dark Phoenix” (2019) really so bad?
I rather liked it.
Yes, there were obvious script problems. This movie isn’t high art. And I’m generally a lot happier following adult super-powered characters than a bunch of saccharine, earnest teen do-gooders.
But Fox’s “X-Men” universe has always been edgier, weirder, meaner and less predictable than the more mainstream Marvel Cinematic Universe. I think of it as the MCU’s rebellious punk rocker cousin. That difference raises the tension and consequently holds my interest better. I’m one of those rare people who DOESN’T want this universe folded into Disney’s more family-friendly, relentlessly optimistic blockbusters. I don’t want Blade to be part of the MCU either, and I think Deadpool is fine right where he is. (If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)
James McAvoy was awesome. Portraying Charles Xavier as fallible was a hell of a lot more interesting for me than yet another iteration of Sir Perfect Stewart. And I’ll always love seeing Michael Fassbender in the role of Magneto. He commands the screen every moment he’s on it.
The action and the special effects were just terrific, and the fight choreography was especially damned sweet. I was cheering during the climactic battle on the moving train.
My favorable X-Bias might be a factor here, but I’d rate this movie an 8 out of 10 for being a trippy, violent, guilty pleasure.
A review of “Spider-Man: Far From Home” (2019)
“Spider-Man: Far From Home” (2019) is a fun enough Marvel movie; based on my own enjoyment, I’d rate it an 8 out of 10. It’s got the same qualities as almost all the other films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe — fun, humor and great special effects housed within a remarkably well constructed shared universe. This mostly standalone adventure is definitely one of the MCU’s campier outings, but I think that most viewers will find it a welcome break after the last two high-stakes, apocalyptic “Avengers” films. (You may have heard of them.)
It’s also a great film to appeal to comic fans who are younger adults. The humor usually works, and the characters are nicely relatable. Peter’s peers and teachers are all engaging enough on their own, and make a good group of supporting characters. I know most fans have commented how much they like Ned, and I do too — but I think the MCU’s biggest improvement in this part of the mythos is the character of M.J. She is vastly different from her comic book progenitor, but in good ways. She’s dry, sardonic and slightly dark, and she’s extremely well played by Zendaya. I don’t imagine that many fans will agree with me here, but I personally find this character to be a lot more likable and compelling than the MCU’s Peter Parker.
And that brings me to my largest concern about the new “Spider-Man” films. Their version of Peter is sometimes frustrating. I don’t think it’s the fault of Tom Holland, who brings a nice amount of energy and personality to the role. I think it’s the fault of the screenwriters, who have made the character so doltish, boyish and eager-to-please that it’s occasionally annoying. He sometimes seems more like a middle school student than an advanced high school student. (Isn’t he supposed to be a senior here?) The writers seem to want to counter-balance the character’s high intelligence with a humanizing flaw, and they seem to want to contrast young Peter with the older, more seasoned Avengers lineup. All of that makes perfect sense, but I do think they go a little overboard.
I’m willing to go on record here and say that I prefer Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man.” His trilogy between 2002 and 2007 had more heart, more devotion to heroic archetypes, and greater attention character depth and detail. (I still think that 2004’s outstanding “Spider-Man 2” is one of the best comic book movies ever made.) There are advantages, too, to depicting an iconic superhero that doesn’t inhabit a shared universe — you spend more time exploring the character than exploring their context in relation to others.
Still, I’d recommend “Spider-man: Far From Home.” Like I said, it was a fun movie.
(I hope they skratch that idea.)
Here’s a thought. If the upcoming “Captain Marvel” introduces the shape-shifting skrull to the Marvel Cinematic Universe (as far back as the 1990’s, at least), then does it create the possibility that any major players we’ve seen since the MCU’s inception are Skrull in disguise?
Like in the comics’ “Secret Invasion” storyline?
I kinda hope not, because it’s a terrible idea. But still.
Weird world — I ran this same post on Facebook and it gave me the option of “tagging” the skrull characters on the cover below, in case they were my friends. As Ford Fairlane would say, “Kooky.”
A petition to save Netflix’ “Daredevil?”
I CAN’T SEE why I wouldn’t sign something like that.
That was terrible. If this were the Marvel Cinematic Universe, people would actually ask Thanos to ash me.
Anyway, the petition over at Change.org has 48,840 signatures as of this writing, and it’s climbing quickly toward its target goal of 50,000. It’s even been endorsed by Vincent D’Onofrio, who portrays “Kingpin” on the program.
I swear that it takes all of three seconds to sign. And what could it hurt? It worked for Fox’ “Firefly,” right? (Although it didn’t work for NBC’s “Hannibal.”)
You can find it right here.
Throwback Thursday: the Marvel superheroes in the 1989 Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Oh, god. Oh, god. This … this is evidently what passed for the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe in 1989. (This is the company’s float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York.)
Can I be blamed for not getting into superhero comics until college? When portrayals like this represented the genre to the general public?
Dear God, what have they done to Dr. Doom?? And is that misshapen, dirty aluminum golem supposed to be the Silver Surfer?! And they’re all in a … multi-level mausoleum? A crumbling clock-tower? A haunted castle that inexplicably has a manhole right outside its entrance? Huh? Wha?
Hey, this was nearly two full decades before the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Indeed, it was the very same year as Tim Burton’s “Batman” — and that is actually the first bona fide modern superhero movie that I can think of without googling it. The genre had a long way to go.
Hey … the Spider-man balloon was pretty cool.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 