We should have a National Donald J. Trump Day, in which we all lie, contradict ourselves, falsely accuse others, insult one another and ramble incoherently. We could do all of the above on Twitter, complete with the expected errors in spelling and grammar.
If anyone calls us on our bullshit, tradition wold require us to blame an educated black guy.
AND MEXICO WOULD PAY FOR IT.
The White House today released an artist’s rendition of Donald Trump’s planned “Space Corps.”
Note — there are about a million “Starship Troopers” jokes to be made here. But if we go there, we’ll be at it all day.
There’s gotta be a way to troll Donald Trump if he succeeds in getting his military parade — while at the same time respecting the servicemen and servicewomen who are obligated to march in it.
What about spectators wearing old sneakers with the heels painted yellow? Yellow is the color associated with cowardice; one of Trump’s five draft deferments during Vietnam was for bone spurs in his heels.
I’ll even leave out cookies and milk …
The season with the clowns. It … actually IS pretty scary. The angry orange clown has launched into some kind of confusing monologue and …
Oh … wait. This is the State of the Union Address.
Friend, while watching the State of the Union Address: “Why does it look like [Trump] is standing in front of a CGI image of Ryan and Pence?”
Me: “It’s a glitch in the Hate-trix.”
The Emperor’s new clothes are indeed quite beautiful.
I know I’m addressing here what’s already appeared all over the news, but here are the seven words that the Trump administration has allegedly banned from appearing in The Center for Disease Control’s budget documents. (In fairness to the administration, CDC Director Brenda Fitzgerald tweeted Sunday to dispute those claims, which first appeared in The Washington Post. You can read about her response here.)
The New York Times: “F.C.C. Repeals Net Neutrality Rules”
FCC Chairman Ajit Pai, who has been well known for his opposition to net neutrality, is a Donald Trump appointee.
Just so you know who to thank if you have to begin paying more for various Internet sites, in the same manner as you pay for cable packages. Or if your ISP starts deciding which Internet content you can access.
Breaking news — it was all a misunderstanding. Trump actually WAS nominated to be Person of the Year.
But he was called by the herbal cooking journal — THYME Magazine.
[Update: the White House just issued a correction — it was actually a BDSM porn mag — Tie ‘Em In Magazine.]
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 