My pal Tara posted this picture of an unimpressive carrot she found this morning.
I think we can all agree the association is inevitable.
Tag Archives: humor
[squints awkwardly]
DON’T be offended if I don’t recognize you — it’s because I don’t have my glasses on.
I can’t see *%$#. You could Henry Goddam Kissinger for all I know.
Medice, cura te ipsum.
I’m really good at encouraging OTHERS to get organized and focused. Not always so good at getting organized and focused myself.
Got a whole little physician-heal-thyself thing goin’ on.
You can never go home again.
I went to the beach today, and I even took a ride on the Ship of Theseus — just like I did when I was a kid.
But it just wasn’t the same.
I’m sorry. This really is a ship joke.
Taste Test = Toaster Strudels
This just in — Toaster Strudels are goddam wonderful.
Update — somebody just told me that there is icing in the box — and that you put it on yourself. I did not know that!!
Update 2.0 — I suppose that the “ICING INLCUDED” proclamation on the front of the box should have been my first clue.
Today’s portmanteau.
Neuromaste — the neurotic in me greets the neurotic in you.
(There’s something to be said for dysfunctional spiritual symmetry. )
“*HOW* did I get here?!”
Old people thoughts I totally had today:
“This McDonald’s is exceptionally clean. The staff should be commended.”
My Brain: “It’s 1:44 AM. You should be asleep.”
Also My Brain:
“Your OWN. PERSONAL. RHESUS.
“Someone to hear your pleas — up in the trees.”
Photo credit: JZ85, CC BY-SA 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
Ho, ho, ho.
Facebook friend: “Fall air and ho made pumpkin/ apple butter simmering.”
Me: “Ho made what? I was wonderin’ where she was at!”
Disclaimer — yes, I know this is an old spelling joke. But I couldn’t resist invoking it when I saw the opportunity.
A plumber friend posted a picture on Facebook of a bathtub he installed.
Friend: “Nice tub! Just another day in the life of a plumber!”
Me: “Okay, but is that Tub A or Tub B?”
Friend:
Me: “(Tub B or not Tub B — that is the question.)”
Friend:
