Neuromaste — the neurotic in me greets the neurotic in you.
(There’s something to be said for dysfunctional spiritual symmetry. )
Tag Archives: humor
“*HOW* did I get here?!”
Old people thoughts I totally had today:
“This McDonald’s is exceptionally clean. The staff should be commended.”
My Brain: “It’s 1:44 AM. You should be asleep.”
Also My Brain:
“Your OWN. PERSONAL. RHESUS.
“Someone to hear your pleas — up in the trees.”
Photo credit: JZ85, CC BY-SA 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
Ho, ho, ho.
Facebook friend: “Fall air and ho made pumpkin/ apple butter simmering.”
Me: “Ho made what? I was wonderin’ where she was at!”
Disclaimer — yes, I know this is an old spelling joke. But I couldn’t resist invoking it when I saw the opportunity.
A plumber friend posted a picture on Facebook of a bathtub he installed.
Friend: “Nice tub! Just another day in the life of a plumber!”
Me: “Okay, but is that Tub A or Tub B?”
Friend:
Me: “(Tub B or not Tub B — that is the question.)”
Friend:
That 70’s joe.
Thanks, Gang.
I just wanted to thank all of you guys for the nice birthday wishes — both online and off.
They came in handy. I can’t believe how old I am. 51! At this point, there are people walking around who are A HALF-CENTURY OLD who are actually YOUNGER than me. Egads.
(She could always just listen to audio from a Trump rally.)
“This is my rifle, this is my cup. This one’s for fightin’, this wakes me up.”
I clean my coffeemaker with same care and precision with which a Marine cleans his rifle.
The difference, of course, is that coffee PREVENTS me from killing people.
Ohhhhhh, I WENT there, girlfriend.
Friend: “Are there people that don’t like dad jokes and puns?”
Me: “If there are, then the father away they are from me, the better.”
