Tag Archives: humor

Lazy Nolan is *LAZY.*

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*THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.*

THERE IS A STRANGE MAN IN MY HOUSE.

That’s okay, though — it’s me.



Eric’s Insomniac Theater: “The Invisible Man” (1933)!

I try to watch at least one Universal Pictures monster movie every year before Halloween — it’s a little tradition of mine.  This time out it was James Whale’s 1933 adaptation of H. G. Wells’ 1897 novel, The Invisible Man.  (I actually do remember seeing this movie, or part of it, on television in the early 1980’s.  Gems played like this ran on weekends all the time.)

The film is pretty cornball stuff, but I love seeing an original Universal monster movie late at night — and it’s always wild getting a glimpse into period culture.  And Claude Rains does make a nicely menacing villain, even with his voice alone.  (Because, most of the time, y’know, you can’t actually see him.)

You can find the entire film right here at the Internet Archive.

And, hey, if the kindly Dr. Cranley looks familiar to you, yes, he is indeed played by Henry Travers — the angel Clarence in 1946’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.”



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No gracias, Senor.

All burritos should have cheese. A burrito without cheese is the Mexican equivalent of decaf coffee.



Toto, I don’t think we’re in New York anymore.

I will never get over how friendly Roanoke, VA is.  You walk into a store to buy a Snapple and the dude who rings you up becomes a new friend.



Throwback Thursday: a lost art form.

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(Isle stop now.)

My Brain at 1:07 AM:  “Stop thinking up weird, random shit and go to sleep.  Stop thinking up weird, random shit and go to sleep.  Stop thinking up weird, random shit and go to sleep.”

Also My Brain:  “Say what you want about the other Greek islands, but dissin’ Crete is indiscreet.”



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C.P.P., how can I explain it?/ I’ll let you microwave it.

You down with C.P.P.?? YEAH, YOU KNOW ME!!
You down with C.P.P.?? YEAH, YOU KNOW ME!!

— Nolan By Nature



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Keep It Simple, Stupid.

This is the simplest sandwich I can fathom — one thick slice of cooked ham and one slice of Muenster cheese on white bread.  (Make sure the opposite slice of bread includes a generous helping of Duke’s Mayonnaise.)

The taste is positively sublime.  The meat and the cheese just go together like chocolate and peanut butter, I swear.

Anyway, at some point I want to see how I can become a spokesperson for Duke’s Mayonnaise, because that’s totally a cause that I can get behind.  I have no idea how — I’m not exactly an “influencer.”  I guess I’ve influenced people on Facebook to unfriend me?  And I had a guy tell me once that my poetry made him want to hug his knees and cry.  (“But it’s so good!” He qualified.)  I still kinda don’t think that’s the reaction that Duke’s is going for.



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WEEP FOR MY FALL THROUGH THE AIR.

I’m bookish, awkward, pot-bellied and an easy target for jokes. Now I apparently need prescription glasses? And I can’t understand why people in my age group want to run society like a bunch of savages.

All I need is a conch shell, and I’m Piggy from “Lord of the Flies.”