Staying at home can be disorienting because every day feels the same.
I try to keep myself grounded with music. But then Morrissey comes on and every day is like Sunday.
Tag Archives: humor
This is a brilliant example of video editing.
Honestly. I try to refrain from linking to Youtube videos on my blog, but this was too good not to share. (I am linking here to the PoliticsJOE Youtube channel.)
I’m willing to bet R.E.M. would be proud.
Some context.
The people who say coronavirus is a hoax are the same people who say we didn’t see graphite on the ground.
Groundhog races outside my window!
I want to take video, but you can’t just film a neighbor’s house and yard; that’s the kind of thing that gets the cops called.
One of them just stopped and eyeballed me — apparently they don’t like spectators?
Oh! One bit the other, and it kinda screamed. That’s a foul. Or … a moving violation? Penalty? Whatever you sportos call it.
Update — the neighbors are probably wondering why I am smiling and waving at the space beneath their car. Hell, the groundhogs are probably wondering. Little fat dude’s giving me a look like, “Yeah? Do we know you?”
It’s like the Twinkie Defense! But stupider.
I picture a lot of defense lawyers out there mulling over a “Donald Trump defense” for drug dealers.
If I recommend to you that you inject yourself with an illegal narcotic, can I exonerate myself afterward by claiming that I was only “being sarcastic?”
Anyway, the below meme information, if you haven’t seen it already, was put out by the makers of the makes of Lysol, following the president’s comments.
Word of the day: “giifbalk.”
It’s Norwegian for “goofball.”
Or at least that’s what you tell your friend when you call her a goofball in a text but make the above typo.
Winedrunk Sidewalk features my Donald Trump Limericks!
I’m honored today to see Winedrunk Sidewalk: Shipwrecked in Trumpland publish five of my Donald Trump limericks! You can find them right here.
Thanks to Editor John Grochalski for allowing me to join the fun once again over at Winedrunk Sidewalk!
Fun Social Media Game — What is Your Pandemic IQ?
1) Take the number of days you’ve quarantined.
2) Add the number of times you’ve washed your hands today.
3) Divide by Covid-19.
4) Multiply by the number of typos you found in Donald Trump’s last tweet.
5) Subtract by the number of times you tried to scratch your nose through your mask today, because you are an IMBECILE.
6) Multiply by Steely Dan’s “Hey 19.”
7) Add 1984.
8) How do I love thee? (Count the ways and then add them.)
9) Divide and conquer.
10) Goto Line 10.
11) Add a hominem.
12) Explain the steps you took, it in the voice of a muppet vampire who LOVES TO COUNT.
13) Integers. Or something.
14) Cube 2: Hypercube.
15) Subtract Matchbox 20.
16) Snap your fingers wearing the Infinity Gauntlet — so that it’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
17) Explain the math of this to Private Rieben. (Show your work.)
18) If your answer is all mixed up by 311, you’ve got to trust your instinct and let go of regret. (You’ve got to bet on yourself now, Star. ‘Cause that’s your best bet. WATCH ME NOW.)
Stinkbug on my coffeecup. Fits right in with my damned day.
I’d bitch about having to wash the cup, if I wasn’t already at the sink 20 times a day washing my hands to avoid a potentially fatal contagion anyway.
THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE WESTWORLD PROMISED US. It contains 100 percent less Dom Dolores Dangerbot and 100 percent more stinkbug-on-my-coffee-cup.
WE GOT ROBBED.
(I’m so funny.)
Girl on Twitter: “Why does Trump insist on saying that we are in a “war”?”
Me: “He thinks it makes him sound tough. (If it were really a war, he would have gotten a deferment due to bone spurs.)”
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 