All posts by Eric Robert Nolan

Eric Robert Nolan graduated from Mary Washington College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. He spent several years a news reporter and editorial writer for the Culpeper Star Exponent in Culpeper, Virginia. His work has also appeared on the front pages of numerous newspapers in Virginia, including The Free Lance – Star and The Daily Progress. Eric entered the field of philanthropy in 1996, as a grant writer for nonprofit healthcare organizations. Eric’s poetry has been featured by Dead Beats Literary Blog, Dagda Publishing, The International War Veterans’ Poetry Archive, and elsewhere. His poetry will also be published by Illumen Magazine in its Spring 2014 issue.

A tiny review of “Project Almanac” (2014).

Project Almanac (2014) was decent enough; I’d give it an 8 out of 10.  It serves up some nice suspense, with moments that were very funny — Quinn Goldberg’s travails as the group’s awkward member made me laugh, and I wish they gave him more screen time.  There are some familiar tropes here, but they’re still made interesting by the found-footage format.

The ending is a bit obvious … it’s a resolution I think any audience member could have suggested.  And it could have carried a hell of a lot more of emotional punch, considering who’s talking, instead of being rushed along in favor of a less interesting love story subplot.

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JAMES WOODS CAME TO MY HOUSE AND LET ME TAKE HIS PICTURE!!

No, it’s just my new haircut. Because the world needs to know I actually am not a damned hippy. Everywhere that women love aging comic book nerds, hearts are breaking.

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A short review of “The Babadook” (2014).

“The Babadook” (2014) was a decent horror movie — maybe not quite as phenomenal as all the hype suggests, but still quite good.  I’d give it an 8 out of 10.

The acting was just great all around, the directing was good, and the movie benefits from a spooky, atmospheric buildup.  The tone-setting developments with the children’s book were creative, spooky and perfect.  The illustrator for that book deserves a lot of credit for making this film effective.

I did think the pacing was a bit slow, and the ultimate reveal of The Babadook itself was unimpressive.  I immediately thought the entity looked like a cross between Edward Scissorhands and Danny Devito’s The Penguin.  It’s ugly and annoying; I might rather punch it in the face than run from it — especially after it traumatized that poor, misunderstood kid.  (I feel the same way about clowns; I will never understand the common phobia.)

This film might also borrow a page or two from other horror outings.  I know I’ve seen that playground bit before.  And the first appearance of the entity closely parallels “The X- Files” episode “Folie a Deux.”  This monster-of-the-week episode is a classic, one of the show’s best.  “The Babadook’s” visual and even sound effects during the ceiling scene seemed almost identical to me.

Side note: does anyone else in the film or audience realize that this child is incredibly advanced if he is able to construct these weapons?  The character is six years old — the best that I could do at age nine when I played vikings with the kid next door was a broomstick and a garbage can lid as a shield.  I actually made a working crossbow when I was 11 or so, but it certainly didn’t work like this kid’s.  If Australia (where the film takes place) has an equivalent to DARPA, this kid needs to work there right after engineering school.

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If the Wrath of God had a color, it would be the ever darkening slate gray beyond my window.

It’s a deepening shade of ash.  The white houses on the rising green hill are as humble and as incongruously light as matchboxes.  The firs in their backyards are like scrub brush.

The lightning has turned from intermittent to frequent, and now thunder shakes my floor.

Virginia is under tornado watch.

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Sometimes hunting for the right bus in Virginia is like the goddam Hunt For Red October.

It’d be totally worth it if I could meet Pensive Inscrutable Russian Sean Connery.  But that doesn’t happen.

Anyway, my checkup today went well.

Doctor:  “Everything with you is normal, Mr, Nolan.”

Me:  “Honey, you don’t KNOW ME.”

A review of E.G. Manetti’s “Bright Star.”

There’s another great book review for science fiction fans over at “What I Am Reading.”  4-LAN gives us the rundown on E.G. Manetti’s “Bright Star,” the sequel to “The Cartel” and the second installment of “The Apprentice” series.

http://thebookmarketingnetwork.com/profiles/blogs/what-i-am-reading-27

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Some sad news today from Mary Washington College.

A 20-year-old female student was the victim of a homicide yesterday at an off campus residence; a male student has been charged with abduction and first degree murder:

http://www.fredericksburg.com/news/local/fredericksburg/male-suspect-arrested-after-female-umw-student-s-death-victim/article_1586ba3a-e53f-11e4-b3aa-ffa2c4d59765.html

Mr. Evans, I presume.

OH MY GOD.

Virginia still has BOB EVANS. There is one right near the barbershop I’m hitting tomorrow. This is a venerable institution that deserves my patronage. I’m not even mad anymore about how the Fredericksburg store worked my fingers to the bone when I was 20. And I rocked that black and burgundy uniform in my long ago trim and strapping days.

Tomorrow I will enjoy biscuits, gravy, sweet coffee, and easy conversation at the breakfast counter with temperate Southern souls.

I will address the counter lady as “Ma’am,” and she will call me “Boy.” Because THE SOUTH.

I’m thinking of renaming this website …

“Smoke a Little Poetry and Get Haiku.”

Whaddya think, Sirs?

Weird world — I was at “The Following’s” latest filming location.

Have any of you guys seen last week’s episode of “The Following?”  Maybe not, because I suspect I am the only one watching this cool show.  (I’ve read that it is “on the bubble,” and Cracked.com has practically campaigned for its cancellation.)

Anyway, if you’ve seen it, Ryan Hardy and co. track a serial killer to a palatial “home” in “Purchase, NY.”

I was there.  I worked there for a night.  That “home” is actually a period mansion that is rented out for high-brow catered events.  (I’ve forgotten its name.)  It’s in Nassau County, not Purchase.  When I was working for a hospital in NY as a grant writer in my 20’s, office staff also doubled as volunteers for fundraising events; we held a big one right there.  Ryan Hardy goes stalking through the same cobblestone driveway where I took my cigarette breaks.  Six degrees of Kevin Bacon indeed.

It was a fun night.  There was a special room that was restricted — VIP access only, I guess.  Only donors and board members were supposed be in the semi-private parlor.  I wandered in quite accidentally, and people just reacted as though I were an (extremely young) donor.  So I just pulled a Frank Abagnale, Jr. and ran with it.  Someone handed me a brandy and a nice cigar, and I just reclined on an immensely comfortable brown leather chair.  (When in Rome.)  It was weird seeing other employees and administrators being gently kept behind the velvet ropes.  I kept smiling and raising a glass to them as they passed.  One vice president was visibly confused at my inclusion there.

So the moral of the story is that if you adopt false pretenses, you get a fancy cigar.  Or something.  I dunno.

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