Category Archives: Uncategorized

Cover to “Ladies’ Home Journal,” May 1896

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“Failure on the other hand is infectious.”

Failure on the other hand is infectious. The world is full of charming failures (for all charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others) and unless the writer is quite ruthless with these amiable footlers, they will drag him down with them.

— Cyril Connolly, Enemies of Promise, 1938

 

 

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Cover to “Boba Fett: Bounty on Bar-Kooda,” Cam Kennedy, 1995

Dark Horse Comics.

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My recipe for Southern Fried Catfish!!!

  1.  Purchase pre-seasoned southern fried catfish at the grocery store.
  2.  Fry.
  3.  Serve.
  4.  Throw out that tartar sauce in your fridge.  There is no need sniff-test it.  You have never sniff-tested tartar sauce in your fridge and ever, ever found it viable.  Ketchup will work just fine, possibly.
  5. Smother your urgent existential dread into a brief and tenuous silence with a Klondike Bar for dessert.  Preferably Brownie Fudge Swirl.

 

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“Blue Denim Silk Moth,” by Deborah Pritchett (Southern Muse)

Photo collage with sienna silk moth on a blue denim background.

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Photo credit: Deborah Pritchett (Southern Muse) [CC0]

“To hold a pen is to be at war.”

“To hold a pen is to be at war.”

— Voltaire

 

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Photo credit: M. Dreibelbis from Cleveland Ohio [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D

“Nec Mergitur,” Édouard Debat-Ponsan, 1898

“She Is Not Drowning.”

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It’s here! It’s here!

My Johnson Smith Company catalog has arrived!!  This is the first time I’ve gotten one in the mail in … 30 years?  35?  (I ordered it on a lark when I wrote that Throwback Thursday post a few weeks ago.)

What a trip!  The mail order company has definitely changed somewhat.  The catalog is far fewer pages now; as you can gather from the picture below, it’s closer in size to those free circulars that you can pick up outside the supermarket.

I was disappointed to see that there are fewer pranks and novelties aimed at kids.  (Whoopee cushions and X-Ray Specs, for example, are nowhere to be found.)  There are far more wares aimed at adults — they include a surprising number of sex toys for both men and women.  (The company adamantly asserts in bold red letters that these items are Non-returnable.)  There is an abundance of pro-Trump merchandise too — check out that “Donald Trump Life and Times Coin & Trading Cards Collection” in the second photo.

Ah, well.  You can still find some cool stuff.  Those “Alien” and “Predator” … “Body Knockers(?)” look pretty neat.  And that Mego “Nosferatu” doll is goddam spectacular.  (I had no idea that the Mego Corporation  was still making toys.)  I don’t know whether its eyes glow in the dark, but I really, really want to believe that they do.

 

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“Truth Coming Out of Her Well,” Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1906

Oil on canvas.

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“‘O Oysters, come and walk with us!'” The Walrus did beseech.

“The Walrus and the Carpenter,” by Lewis Carroll

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright —
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done —
“It’s very rude of him,” she said,
“To come and spoil the fun.”

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead —
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
“If this were only cleared away,”
They said, “it would be grand!”

If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
“Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,
“That they could get it clear?”
“I doubt it,”said the Carpenter,
“And shed a bitter tear.”

“O Oysters, come and walk with us!”
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.”

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head —
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat —
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more —
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
And whether pigs have wings.”

“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!”
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed —
Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”

“But not on us!’ the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
“After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!”
“The night is fine,” the Walrus said.
D”o you admire the view?

It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
Cut us another slice:
“I wish you were not quite so deaf —
I’ve had to ask you twice!”

“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,
“To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
“The butter’s spread too thick!”

“I weep for you,” the Walrus said:
“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?”
But answer came there none —
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.

 

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A scene from “The Walrus and the Carpenter”, by Lewis Carroll, drawn by Sir John Tenniel in 1871.