Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Happy Thanksgiving, All!

We all know that 2020 has been a difficult year, to say the least — and that this Thanksgiving, for many of us, will be unlike those in the past.  Let’s each be thankful for what we do have — whether it is our health, our homes, our hopes, or one another.

Pictured — lead-glazed glass painting depicting the potato harvest and Thanksgiving in the Hippolit Church in Amelinghausen, Germany.

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Photo credit: Oxfordian Kissuth, CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons.

Romero knew.

Maybe it’s a lifetime of zombie movies that’s done it to me (along with the books, short stories and comic books), but somehow I always knew that there would be hordes of imbeciles getting themselves and other people killed during a horrifying viral pandemic. (There’s always the crazy guy who leaves the gate open.)

It’s like these @$$+)*%$s exist to hasten the plot along to its high-casualty conclusion.

DAMMIT, MIGUEL.

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They don’t need Trump to trump democracy. The fight goes on.

Soooooo, GSA Administrator Emily W. Murphy has (finally) ascertained officially that Joseph Biden is the next President of the United States. And that represents the end of what is (hopefully) the last conceivably effective option at the current president’s disposal to override democracy and simply … install himself as an unelected second-term president.

No supporters of Donald J. Trump would view him that way, of course. They would quickly and cheerfully embrace whatever alternate reality that their president paints for them using his limited command of the English language. If he told them that Lizard People from Venus hacked into the voting machines via telekinesis, they’d follow right along.

So we in America have gotten a reprieve from madcap authoritarianism — at least until Trump runs again in 2024, or one of his children does. The latter is the worse option, I think — each of the Trump kids are just as shameless as their father, and each is profoundly less stupid. (Look at their Twitter feeds. They can speak English.) They might have better chances of reaching the White House and remaining there. (It’s been said by wiser men than me that Donald Trump could actually succeed in becoming a dictator if only he weren’t such a goddamned imbecile.)

Or what about some other opportunist who successfully targets Trump’s surprisingly broad demographic? This country has no shortage of foul-mouthed, egotistical, tough-talking white guys who lash out on the Internet and falsely claim to have all the answers. (Look at me, for example.) If we could export these assholes, they’d make up more than half of our gross national product.

We don’t need Donald Trump to end the American Experiment. We just need someone like him. All we need is another charismatic demagogue who can attract financial support, and who can lead bullshit, televangelist-style pep rallies and who (more importantly) can manipulate social media to spread disinformation.

American exceptionialism is a myth — at least as far as authoritarianism is concerned. The people of this country are no less susceptible to its appeal than people where authoritarians have seized power in the past — places like Germany, Italy, Russia, China and elsewhere.

And they don’t need Trump to trump democracy. The fight goes on, as all good fights do.

Because Trump’s defeat today still only gives us what Franklin told us we had when (apocrophally, at least ), he exited the Constitutional Convention in 1787 — “a Republic, if you can keep it.”

Winedrunk Sidewalk publishes “Remember, remember the Fifth of November (2020)”

More good news today — Winedrunk Sidewalk: Shipwrecked in Trumpland published another short satirical poem of mine.  The title of the piece is “Remember, Remember the Fifth of November (2020).”  (It is an obvious riff on the classic 17th century English poem about Guy Fawkes.)

You can find the piece right here.  Thanks, as always, to Editor John Grochalski for allowing me to share my voice via Winedrunk Sidewalk!



The Roanoke Times features “A Roanoke Thanksgiving”

I got a nice surprise when I woke up this morning — The Roanoke Times published my holiday poem, “A Roanoke Thanksgiving.”  You can find it right here.

As you might remember if you follow this blog, I penned this poem about my adopted city at about this time last year.  Thanks to the good folks over at The Roanoke Times for letting me share it today with my neighbors!



(How much money will you give me?)

Me: “All our lives are fleeting, friends, so use what time you have in a meaningful way.”

Also me: “Anyone dare me to eat this watermelon chunk with ketchup on it?”

“Would you come into my Parler?” said The Spider to The Fly.

“Would you come into my Parler?” said The Spider to The Fly.


“There’s news for real Americans — the MAGA girls and guys!


The way into my Parler is up a winding stair.


If you have a brain or conscience, just leave them out there.”


“Oh yes, yes,” said the little Fly, “a place to bash and blame


those party-pooping liberals who fact-check all my claims!”



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(Hey, he’s into quack medicine too.)

Schrodinger’s Lame Duck — refusing to concede the election while simultaneously vowing to run against the victor in another four years.

Christ, I’m funny.

Trump supporter friend: “Now is the time for Christians to share the good news of the Gospel and get as many to accept Jesus Christ as we are able…..He’s coming back very, very soon!”

Me: “Don’t wait up. He’s at my house celebrating the election results.”

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,/ Americans voting a lot!

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
Americans voting a lot!
The president’s lying, corruption and treason
has not been forgot!

The Donald, The Donald, ’twas his intent
to topple elected government.
He rallied a mob of gun-toting hayseeds
to bolster his own autocracy.

But good people braved the long voting lines
and remembered to mail their ballots on time.
Most of the voters were not confused
by InfoWars, O.A.N. or Fox News.

Joe Biden’s poll numbers are closing in!
Holler boys, holler girls, let the bells ring!

— Eric Robert Nolan 🙂